High-Def Digest: The Bonus ViewOne Man's Trash Archives - High-Def Digest: The Bonus View

One Man’s Trash: The VelociPastor

Adam Tyner — Thu, 26 Sep 2019 19:00:43 +0000

“First, I’m a hooker, and I did not want to be arrested. Secondly, you turned into a dinosaur, and you ate him.” Father Doug (Greg Cohan), being a strict Creationist, doesn’t believe in dinosaurs. But how does that saying go? You might not believe in dinosaurs, my child, but dinosaurs believe in you. You see,...

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One Man’s Trash: Billy the Kid vs. Dracula

Adam Tyner — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 16:00:36 +0000

Hmmm, how best to succinctly describe the central conflict in Billy the Kid vs. Dracula…? Wait, I’ve got it! Billy the Kid squares off against Dracula! I guess that’s it for the plot synopsis. Load up, fellas! We’re moving on. Okay, okay, I guess I can delve into a little more detail than that. The...

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One Man’s Trash: Zoombies 2

Adam Tyner — Wed, 14 Aug 2019 16:00:23 +0000

Well, this isn’t a zoo, and these critters aren’t exactly undead. But goshdarnit, “zoombies” is too clever a pun to sleep on, so we’ll roll with it. If you’re desperate to steal an elephant, why go through all the hassle of schlepping through the African bush? Just head to a wildlife refuge and swipe one....

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One Man’s Trash: Alien Warfare

Adam Tyner — Wed, 07 Aug 2019 16:00:20 +0000

Never has a film been more aptly titled than Alien Warfare. At least, once Chris (David B. Meadows) gets off the phone, I’m pretty sure some aliens are going to start wreaking havoc. Okay, once Chris is off the phone, and when he and his team have finished their hostage negotiations against a band of...

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One Man’s Trash: Robowar

Adam Tyner — Thu, 25 Jul 2019 16:00:21 +0000

And then there was that time the filmmakers behind Troll 2 and Hell of the Living Dead remade Predator… Okay, to be fair, Robowar is more than just a no-budget Italian Xerox of the single greatest action flick ever made. ‘Cause it’s also ripping off Robocop. You see, the American government has engineered the perfect...

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One Man’s Trash: Snow Beast

Adam Tyner — Fri, 05 Jul 2019 12:00:47 +0000

A team of researchers came to Canada to study the native lynx population. Little did they know that they themselves were being studied by… the Snow Beast! If you’re expecting me to follow that up with a rambling, unnecessarily long plot synopsis, sorry! That’s pretty much it. Eh, I guess I could touch on the...

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One Man’s Trash: Popcorn

Adam Tyner — Fri, 21 Jun 2019 12:00:13 +0000

Hey, I think this might be a first: a cult film about a film cult. Before we tear into all that, let me double-check the bill for this schlocky late night fright-fest fundraiser. Leading the way is Mosquito!, presented in Project-O-Vision. The 3D is so vivid that you’ll feel as if you could reach out...

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One Man’s Trash: It Came from the Desert

Adam Tyner — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 15:00:12 +0000

“Great. So, in addition to giant ants, we now have robot machine guns to contend with?” Of course it is a giant ant. What else is gonna come from the desert?! At least we can breathe a sigh of relief that these monstrous buggers can’t reproduce. Their mutant eggs can’t be fertilized without ethanol, and...

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One Man’s Trash: Brain Damage

Adam Tyner — Fri, 24 May 2019 12:00:15 +0000

Awwww, “parasite” is such a nasty word. How many parasites do you know with a voice this velvety smooth? Can they articulately debate? Do they croon? Can they inject a hallucinatory chemical directly into your gray matter so you don’t remember them devouring your friends and neighbors’ brains? Wait, don’t answer that last one. For...

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One Man’s Trash: Skeletons in the Closet

Adam Tyner — Fri, 17 May 2019 12:00:32 +0000

Skeletons in the Closet is a blood-spattered love letter to 1980s horror and late night movie hosts. Except when it’s not. Which is most of the time. At least this anthology kicks off the right way, diving more or less right into a trailer for The Muck. (Think The Raft segment from Creepshow 2 by...

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One Man’s Trash: The Crater Lake Monster

Adam Tyner — Thu, 02 May 2019 16:00:51 +0000

Wow! This newly-discovered cave drawing proves that ancient man once co-existed with dinosaurs. And, thanks to that meteor soaring through the sky right now, history’s about to repeat itself. Okay, okay, plesiosaurs are ancient, aquatic reptiles and not technically dinosaurs. Still, when a colossal beast from tens of millions of years in the past is...

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One Man’s Trash: Grabbers

Adam Tyner — Fri, 19 Apr 2019 12:00:52 +0000

Once again, alcohol saves the day! Pop quiz, hotshot: A colossal, otherworldly, insatiably ravenous sea monster has invaded Erin Island – a barely discernable speck on the map somewhere off the Irish coast. What do you do? You could try fleeing, but your plan is to escape from a sea monster in a boat?! Nope....

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