The Trailer Park: Relics on Parade

While we wait for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone to team up in the sci-fi actioner ‘The Tomb’ next year, the two legends of ’80s action strut their stuff in separate projects.

‘Bullet to the Head’

By the looks of this preview, the movie’s title seems both ironic and appropriate. The plot sounds generic and predictable, and the idea of a senior citizen kicking serious ass is more hilarious than exciting. However, I’ll admit that Stallone’s tight physique at his age is not only imposing, but makes me feel a little overweight and out of shape. Nonetheless, it’s rather difficult to imagine that he’s still a force to be reckoned with. The years should be catching up to him by now. I’ll probably watch this on Blu-ray just to see the hand-to-hand grudge match with Jason Momoa.

‘The Last Stand’

Now, this movie looks a bit more appealing. It has an ’80s throwback sensibility and a simple plot that actually takes the age of its star into account. Schwarzenegger is about the same age as Stallone (he’s only a year younger), but isn’t afraid to show it and make that part of the movie’s humor. I could probably do without Johnny Knoxville; his acting gets on my nerves much too often. Despite also seeming to have another generic plot, the movie looks like good ol’ mindless action-packed fun. Of most interest is seeing South Korean filmmaker Jee-woon Kim of ‘I Saw the Devil’ and ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’ make his U.S. debut.

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  1. I want to see ‘Bullet to the Head’ because that trailer made it look like Stallone actually puts a bullet in Christian Slater’s head. That’s worth admission alone.

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