We have a new Rambo movie, 37 years after the original, because apparently that’s something Sylvester Stallone thought the world needed. It seems to be a common trend these days to see old action stars struggling to remain relevant to their audiences. Sometimes it works, but other times…
This could probably double as a hype check for Terminator: Dark Fate, but I think it’s long past time for Arnold Schwarzenegger to hang up his action star title. Back in 2015, he was in two movies I saw. The first, Terminator: Genisys, was a mess that I doubt I will ever rewatch. The second (in order of me watching it), Maggie, was a nice surprise that I do look forward to revisiting at some point.
Maggie did not put Arnold in an action role or even in a callback type roll, and yet the part fit well. It’s unfortunate that so many Schwarzenegger movies in the late ’90s were uninspired. If anything, the last decade has shown that not enough effort has been put into having Arnold play more mature roles. Sean Connery, for example, eventually found a niche as an older mentor type character. Maybe that’s something that will happen a little in Dark Fate, but outside of Linda Hamilton, the film looks like another blot on Arnold’s IMDb page (as well as for the Terminator franchise). There’s a Conan project in the works as well, but it feels to be several decades too late.
M. Enois Duarte
If not for the fact that Liam Neeson is starring in two upcoming action films in the next couple of years, I would have thought the Irish actor had finally retired from appearing in genre flicks where his age should realistically limit certain physical requirements demanded of an action star.
To be honest, I rather enjoy Neeson’s signature gruff and surly lone-wolf role. Although the movies may range from decently entertaining to downright silly and dumb, there’s something charming about his performances that makes me forget I’m sitting through garbage. In fact, Neeson’s over-the-hill action roles have become an archetype that’s easily parodied and imitated. From the looks of it, Stallone’s latest Rambo adventure borrows some resemblance to Neeson’s model.
I’ll pick Clint Eastwood. Look, he’s a bit loopy, but the fact that he’s still doing it as he approaches 90 should cut his lunatic politics and get-off-my-lawn shtick some slack. It’s clear he’s having fun, wants to entertain, and still finds time to kick some butt on screen.
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk)
I haven’t suffered through a new Steven Seagal movie in a full decade, so I can’t begin to imagine what his more recent direct-to-video opuses are like now that he’s pushing 70. I can, however, tell you about 2009’s Driven to Kill, by which point Seagal was at least a decade and a half past his prime.
But in the words of the Bard, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. Ruslan Drachev is hip, he’s cool, and he’s 57. And in case you fail to fully acknowledge Seagal’s still-smoldering sexuality, the movie opens with this former Russian mob enforcer being propositioned for a threeway by scream queen Crystal Lowe. Coincidentally, the actresses playing Drachev’s ex-wife and daughter are almost the exact same age as Lowe, each right at thirty years younger than Seagal himself. (Laura Mennell, who plays daughter Lanie, is actually a year older than her on-screen mom.)
Don’t get too attached to any of these ladies. Lowe quickly vanishes, the former Mrs. Drachev is gunned down, and Lanie is left for dead. Of course his family has to be murdered (or something close enough to it) by the Russian mob. How else could Ruslan be – pause for dramatic effect – driven to kill?
With basically anyone else in the lead, Driven to Kill would’ve been just another paint-by-numbers DTV action flick. Seagal ensures that it’s at least vaguely memorable. He mumbles with a, how you say, Russian Guyovich accent that’s borderline-unintelligible, at least when he remembers to do it. To Seagal’s credit, he appears to be fielding much of the stuntwork himself, but he’s not exactly in peak physical condition. Ruslan waddles when he’s supposed to be running. Most of the fight sequences are framed unusually tightly, presumably because it looked too slow or sloppy when the camera’s further away.
Driven to Kill is a long way from the Golden Age of Seagalese Cinema, but it treats us to a bloated action hero old enough to get the discounted coffee at McDonald’s slicing up a dude’s face with a knife, and the high-octane climax is set to accordion and an Oktoberfest oompah beat. There’s something to be said for that. More than 350 words of something, judging by this response.
I ranted about the awfulness about the last Die Hard sequel just a few months ago. Sadly, that movie is emblematic of Bruce Willis’ entire career at this point. Although the actor, even at 64-years-old, is still virile enough that he could make a decent action movie if he wanted to, in recent years he’s been content to coast on his reputation, collecting easy paychecks for the bare minimum amount of work he can get away with. Many of these are direct-to-video flicks where he’s not even the lead, despite receiving top billing, and just pops in for a quick cameo in a project actually headlined by C-Listers like Kellan Lutz or Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Even when he appears in a higher-profile theatrical release, like G.I. Joe: Retaliation or RED 2, his disinterest toward everything going on around him is palpable. Willis clearly just does not give a shit about these kinds of movies anymore. It’s a depressing turn for an actor who was formerly one of our great action stars.
Which aging action stars do you think really ought to call it a day?
Calling Zack Morris a C-lister?! You sadden me this Friday.
Not quite a movie thing, but have you seen some of these way past prime wrestlers?
I heard a rumor a while back that a new Indiana Jones film was in the works with Harrison Ford returning once again to play the character. Not sure if it’s still happening but it’s just a bad idea imho. Based on his performance in The Force Awakens and the obvious effect his age has taken on his physicality, it’s probably better to just reboot the franchise with a younger star (Bradley Cooper was once rumored) taking on the role.
Bradley Cooper as Indy is the stuff of nightmares.
I used to think that to but he’s sort of won me over in the last few years, Dude crushed it in A Star is Born from last year. I think it could work really well actually.
Indy 5 was SUPPOSED to start shooting in early 2020; however, there are screenplay issues…the script has gone from David Koepp to Jonathan Kasdan to Dan Fogelman and now (last I heard) it’s now back to Koepp again. Chances are shooting isn’t starting anytime soon and it wasn’t mentioned AT ALL at the D23 Expo this year (Disney’s bi-annual fan convention).
We’ll know soon if it’s ever going to happen when Spielberg announces his next project (if it’s not Indy, the movie is DOA).
I completely disagree with his performance in Force Awakens, to me it felt like good old Han had returned, so I dont know what to say there 🙂
Stallone seems to be struggling the most of all these old action stars to stay in the spotlight. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to revive Cobra or Tango & Cash, maybe a Judge Dredd reboot 😀
I feel like I’ve read rumors that Stallone does in deed want to do a Tango & Cash sequel. I’d be down with this.
And having rewatched Cobra the other day, it would be interesting to see the same over the top violent cop as an old man, in a modern day setting. Basically Stallone’s ‘John Wick’.
I try to imagine a ‘Cobra’ sequel, and I mostly just picture it in a world that is full-blown apocalyptic, like ‘Hobo With a Shotgun’.
He’s working on a Cobra TV show, I think that news came out a few days ago, in that info he also mentioned he wants to do another Tango and Cash but is pretty much waiting on Kurt Russel, so who knows with that one
Best Steven Seagal movie? Executive Decision.
You’re just saying that because of Tommy Lee Jones and Erika Eleniak popping out of the cake…
That’s Under Siege, not Executive Decision. The longtime joke is that Executive Decision is the best Steven Seagal movie because it’s the one where Seagal gets killed off super early.
Wow SPOILERS!!!! 🙂
How is it that the “Muscles from Brussels” isn’t in this conversation? Jean Claude Van Damme is certainly over the hill and outside of a fun turn in the Expendables 2, has pretty much been stuck in DTV hell for two decades.
My friend and I use to joke that he probably didn’t want to get killed off and that he would’ve wanted to use his jacket as a parachute or wind up surviving the fall in some other ridiculous way.
I have a theory that Seagal didn’t even know he was being killed off, and the director let him shoot more scenes without putting any film in the camera, because he wouldn’t agree to be in the movie unless he thought he was the hero. 🙂