Weekend Movies: Sucktember Is Upon Us

Although the month of September will be peppered with some promising new movie releases, this week isn’t. Only two films open wide. I saw one at Sundance. The other, despite starring several very familiar faces, is completely unknown to me. I suppose that this is a good time to get caught up on our Blu-ray viewing.

On 2,700 screens, the wider of this week’s openers is ‘The Words‘. Imagine ‘Inception’, except with the guns, special effects, thrills and originality replaced with – you guessed it – words. Starring Dennis Quaid, Olivia Wilde, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana and Jeremy Irons, ‘The Words’ is a book within a book within a drama within a movie. Although it’s masterfully crafted, the movie’s unsatisfying ending will leave theater patrons disgruntled.

I honestly know nothing about the second wide release. Something called ‘The Cold Light of Day‘ is showing on 1,500 screens. Not-so-Superman Henry Cavill, who was effing awful in ‘Immortals‘, plays a young Gordon Gekko wannabe whose family is kidnapped in Spain. It turns out that they were taken by intelligence officials (played by Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver) who need his help. Yawn.

On 306 screens is the crazy-looking American/Russian co-production ‘Branded‘. Like all dystopian sci-fi films, the world of the future blows, so a guy sets off on a mission to shatter the reality that’s damning society. The movie stars some no-name, that Leelee girl from ‘Joyride’, George Bluth Sr. and Brewmeister Smith.

The other two of the bigger indie releases have been available to watch On Demand, but are now getting a theatrical push this weekend. The crude chick-flick comedy ‘Bachelorette‘ had such strong word of mouth at Sundance that I blew off the awards ceremony to catch it at the festival – and it was totally worth it. Playing like a dark(er) version of ‘Bridesmaids‘, the comedy follows three awful bridesmaids (Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan) through their bachelorette party shenanigans and into the pre-wedding night. Crude and dark hilarity ensues.

The second of the On Demand titles is ‘[REC] 3: Genesis‘, the third chapter in Spain’s ‘[REC]‘ series. Somehow, the zombie infection that plagued the first two films has spread in a clever manner to a location far from the previous settings. The sequel is also said to playfully make more sense of the events in first two flicks. Mind you, I haven’t seen it, so this is all internet hearsay from those who actually liked the first two films enough to either pay $7.99 to stream this one or downloaded it illegally. Given that it’s a cult foreign horror film, I’d guess that it’s more of the latter.


  1. JM

    ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ at 267 IMAX locations forecasting $3M in box office to PSA the blu-ray on Sept 18 should have been the headline / banner photo.

    The only sucktember upon us today is Kristen Stewart tackling a mountain lion.

  2. Drew

    Yes! That should have been the banner/headline!

    As soon as I read this post, my first thought was, “Seriously? He just submitted a post about the weekend box office, and didn’t include the biggest and best release of the week?!”

    How does the film that overshadows anything else get completely ignored?

  3. I saw ‘Indiana Jones’ yesterday and it was very, very awesome! It has never looked or sounded better. A superb opportunity. I’m most grateful. The asps are still very dangerous.

  4. Drew

    Love the use of condescension, sarcasm, and exclamation points there, Luke.

    All is forgiven.

    Still, you should have known better. You can’t just use other internet sights that any of us can pull up. You need to me giving your own insight.

    It’s a shame that you didn’t know it was being released. You should have been there watching it at the press screening, — assuming there was one — the Thursday midnight showing, or at the very least Friday, as early as possible.

  5. Drew


    My thoughts echo your own. It was phenomenal!

    I’m most grateful that I got to see an all time great, via such a powerhouse presentation.

    I was born not long after ‘Raiders’ came out, and never got the chance to see it in the theater. It was an incredible experience to find out what I missed.

  6. Drew

    By the way, Luke, ‘Raiders’ had a $6,461 per screen average, over the weekend. That average was almost double the runner-up’s per screen average.