Weekend Movies: Just Can’t Bear It

This holiday weekend, the Easter Bunny delivers a few eggs that should probably remain hidden.

I had high hopes for ‘Transcendence‘ until I saw the trailer. Christopher Nolan’s cinematographer Wally Pfister makes his directorial debut with this apparent ‘Lawnmower Man’ reboot. The previously blacklisted screenplay places Johnny Depp in the role of a genius scientist who creates a wild form of artificial intelligence, only to be shot and killed by an anti-technology activist. (Honestly, other than old people, who’s against technology?) Good thing he uploaded his consciousness to the system before his assassination – or is it? The film co-stars Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara and ‘Dark Knight’ trilogy regulars Morgan Freeman and Cillian Murphy.

Hot off the heels of the successful religious-based movie ‘God’s Not Dead’, here comes Columbia TriStar’s faith-based ‘Heaven Is for Real‘. The awfully-titled movie stars Greg Kinnear as a father whose young son dies and is brought back to life. Afterward, the child recounts his story of temporarily going to Heaven. Would you believe your kid if he claimed to have the same experience? I imagine the controversy behind that question is what keeps this based-on-a-true story premise going for 100 minutes.

Even though the first one was totally unfunny and forgettable, Marlon Wayans is back with the spoof horror sequel ‘A Haunted House 2‘. His character may be starting a new life with a new family, but the paranormal activities continue. After seeing the awful ‘Scary Movie’ franchise dragged out for so long, it’s apparent that these movies don’t have to be too successful to warrant sequels.

Finally, DisneyNature is back with the new big screen documentary ‘Bears‘. With the best of intentions, DisneyNature has donated quite a lot of money and resources to nature and wildlife organizations. Unfortunately, only the first of its movies, ‘Earth‘, was actually worth watching (and even then, only if you didn’t already see it in the longer ‘Planet Earth‘ form on TV). Since then, the quality of these films has dramatically lessened with each new title. The last one, ‘Wings of Life‘, was so bad that it didn’t get a theatrical release and went directly to Blu-ray. Since I was unable to attend the screening, I can’t say whether ‘Bears’ is as bad as the others, but given DisneyNature’s track record, I don’t have much hope for it.


  1. I don’t understand studios greenlighting stuff like ‘A Haunted House 2’, while there’s still no official word on ‘Tron 3’ or ‘The Goonies 2’. Yes, I understand they’re after a quick buck (and I can’t blame them), but …

    • Elizabeth

      Goonies 2 sounds like a horrible idea. Would it be the same kids as adults? Would it be the kids of the original kids? Would it be the original kids with their kids? I hope they leave it alone. The only thing that makes any sense would be some sort of remake.

      But yes to Tron 3. Hopefully with the same director as Legacy. I know his films are lacking in the plot department, but the way he combines music and images is pure art. Find a great story to frame with those skills and I think you’d have an awesome movie.

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