The Trailer Park: America, F**k Yeah!

As many politicians have proven as of late, if you don’t screw up American history for your own personal gain, then you’re not being patriotic enough. Trailers for three new comedies test this train of thought in some rather offensive ways. Be warned, these are red-band trailers.

‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’

Little known fact: Our 16th President hunted vampires without mercy or compassion. This latest from producer Tim Burton and director Timur Bekmambetov (‘Wanted’) aims to reeducate audiences with the truth. Seriously though, the movie is a great opportunity to return to more traditional vampire lore. Sadly, as the fourth installment in the ‘Underworld’ franchise has shown this year, moviegoers seem to prefer their undead as pouty, swooning, Emo twits. So, here’s our chance to prove that we want real bloodsuckers gnarling with thirst for human necks on the silver screen. Go out and show you’re a true patriot by making ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ a box-office smash!

‘FDR: American Badass!’

Granted, this looks pretty cheap and stupid, but the trailer still makes me laugh. Imagining one of the nation’s greatest presidents as a superhero who opens a huge can of whup-ass on Nazis is actually rather funny. Even better is seeing the Axis Powers as mad, rabid-like werewolves. And Ray Wise of ‘Twin Peaks’ as General MacArthur has one of the best lines of the trailer.

‘God Bless America’

Here’s another movie that looks every bit its budget, but the preview is also hilarious and worth cheering. The raunchy comedy from Bobcat Goldthwait appears to be highly-offensive, crude and completely vulgar. At the same time, there seems to be a warm, sappy side to the angry frustration being explored. There’s an energy and topical spirit to the preview that has me really excited to see this. Added to that, it looks like a great follow-up to ‘World’s Greatest Dad’.

For more of the latest movie trailers, check out our trailers page.


  1. JM

    ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ looks like an interesting mashup.

    Produced by Tim Burton = bad.

    Directed by Timur Bekmambetov = good.

    The novel by Seth Grahame-Smith = bad.

    Screenplay by Simon Kinberg, writer of ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ = good.

    PG-13 = bad.

    Alan Tudyk as Stephen A. Douglas = priceless.

  2. Dimwit

    Abe looks … very CGI. I’m not sure.
    FDR looks like the trailer is the movie. Just leave it there. Stretched to movie length will kill it.
    Bobcat’s looks like gold. It’ll stiff at the boxoffice as usual but looks like a real gem.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *