Posterizing: Death by ‘Battleship’ or ‘Cabin’

Welcome to an all-new edition of Posterizing. Quite a few interesting posters have been released over the past few weeks for highly-anticipated movies like ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and ‘The Cabin in the Woods’. Plus, I just want to make fun of ‘Battleship’.


This is… wait for it… an alien invasion movie.

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing.

No, really. It is. Have you seen the latest trailer? It’s almost as if each and every sound effect used in Michael Bay’s ‘Transformers’ movies was stolen and stuck in this one. This is all apparently because the board game it’s based upon isn’t exciting enough to make a movie from. Hmm… Who would’ve thought, right?

If that wasn’t enough, this poster totally rips off the ‘Battle: Los Angeles’ poster below. Ugh. ‘Battleship’ really has nothing going for it. I mean, this is a dismal-looking movie about aliens and Transformers that’s been inexplicably named after a board game.

‘The Dark Knight Rises’

This is a fitting poster, right? We’ve already seen the cryptic ‘Inception’-esque poster with crumbling buildings, which was really neat, but this one focuses more on Bruce Wayne finally giving up the Batman mantle. This is supposed to be Christopher Nolan’s last ‘Batman’ movie, so it’s suitable that we see Batman’s cracked mask in the foreground and a broken Wayne walking away in the background.

‘The Cabin in the Woods’

Written by Joss Whedon with help from Drew Goddard, who also directs, ‘The Cabin in the Woods’ is a conundrum of sorts. From the trailer, the movie starts out almost identically to ‘Tucker and Dale vs. Evil’, which makes you think that that it’s going to be a horror movie spoof, but then the trailer moves in a totally different direction.

Such is the case with the two posters that have been released as well. The first features a dark cabin highlighted in blood red, and has a tagline that reads: “If you hear a strange sound outside… Have sex.” This makes you think that you’re getting a horror comedy, right?

Then the next poster features an unsettling picture of a Rubik’s Cube cabin floating in mid-air, which provides a scarier feeling than the first poster.

I’m officially excited for whatever path ‘Cabin’ takes. Word is that it premiered at Harry Knowles’ Butt-Numb-A-Thon (BNAT) movie marathon. Early reports that I’ve read on Twitter (reputable news source I know) say that it’s really good. We’ll have to wait and see, but these posters provide mixed anticipation.

‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation’

See, it’s ironically funny because this is the paper that all fourth graders have to write when they return to school after their break. Only now all we see is Mel Gibson, with a gun, slowly walking away from what appears to be a prison. This is definitely not a story you’d tell your new teacher, is it? That’s why it’s clever.

So, with that over, are we supposed to believe that Mel is going to be an action star again? Anyway, this is the go-to pose for any action movie that wants to create equal parts intrigue and suspense. In the end, it just looks generic.


  1. Alex

    Aaron, is that Bruce Wayne walking away? It thought it was Bane walking off into distance as if to imply that he had “broken the bat”.

    • Aaron Peck

      Ah yes. That looks like it could be right. My first thought seeing the poster was Wayne walking away from his responsibilities as Batman, but the Bane thing also makes sense, and now upon close inspection it looks as if the person has a mask of some sort on like Bane wears.

      • Drew

        How could you have ever thought that was Wayne walking away?

        I’m curious to know what your line of thinking was.

        It was always 100% clear that it was Bane.

        • Alex

          In Aaron’s defense, the poster is vaguely reminiscent of the scene in “Spider-Man 2” where Peter Parker leaves his Spidey-suit in the garbage can as he walks down the darkened alleyway.

          • Drew

            Your line of thinking completely defies all logic.

            Did you actually look at the poster? Or just see a cracked mask with someone walking away?

            If the character in the poster resembled Bruce Wayne in any way, shape, or form, I could see you just glancing and making the assmuption that you state was your line of thinking.

            However, the character in the poster is clearly, and obviously Bane! There’s no doubt about it!

            You know it’s Bane the very second you focus on the character.

            Ever see Bruce where a tank-top or that type of clothing?

  2. Luke Hickman

    I dig the Bats poster because it implies two things – Batman is going to have his ass handed to him and his identity is going to be revealed (to Bane, at least). Can’t wait.

    I’m worried for Cabin in the Woods. You can’t trust Knowles’ followers because they’re pure geeks that will lap up anything he spits out. Plus, it’s been on a shelf FOREVER. I’m certain the only reason it’s seeing the light of day is because Hemsworth was good in Thor and Whedon is directing The Avengers. I smell failure.

  3. Universal made “Battleship”? What about their CEO’s recent comments? Do they intend to keep churning out crappy features?

    And, wow, “The Cabin In The Woods” was originally supposed to come out in 2010? I know a lot of movies stay on the shelve, but I don’t remember that many movies that had a firm date printed on a poster … almost two years ago.

    • Battleship was already far into production by the time the Universal CEO made his comments. If he were really to try to implement changes to the way his studio greenlights movies, they’ll take a minimum of 2-3 years to take effect. And the reality of the situation is that he doesn’t actually plan to do anything different than he’s been doing.

      • How sad. I do hope to see some changes in the future, because Universal used to be an important powerhouse. After their Blu-ray debacles and poor output, their star has faded.