‘Oblivion’ Contest Results

Are you an effective team? Of course you are! When I asked you, our readers, to provide funny entries to last week’s ‘Oblivion’ contest, you accomplished that mission with flying colors. Now it’s time to find out which of you has won the prize.

Not only will the winner take home the sci-fi epic ‘Oblivion’ on Blu-ray, I even made a special trip out to Walmart to pick up the retailer’s exclusive MetalPak edition of the disc. Sometimes, I’m just a nice guy like that.

As explained in the original post, we challenged you to come up with funny or clever captions for the following image. Oh boy, did you ever!

Honorable Mentions
  1. Lord Bowler: “Kim Kardashian must have been a very important person!”
  2. NJScorpio: “Okay Tom, act like you are reading. No, act like you understand what you are reading…”
  3. Jeremy R: See Spot. See Spot Run. OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, I can’t wait to turn the page to see what happens next!
  4. David S: Tom Cruise browsing through his Church of Scientology approved wife catalog.
  5. EM: “But…this script is just other scripts pasted together!”
  6. Csm101: Tom Cruise can’t take his eyes off “Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression ” by Brooke Shields.
  7. Javier: These pictures look like tiny words!
  8. Brian J: “So this is what the female genitalia looks like……fascinating”.
  9. Joseph K: “So I busted Oprah’s couch, now I’m stuck trying to figure out these IKEA instructions for the replacement…”
  10. Sanders: “The best-laid plans of mice and men – and Tom Cruise, the small man in the glasses who wanted nothing but time. Tom Cruise, now just a part of a smashed landscape, just a piece of the rubble, just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself. Mr. Tom Cruise – in Oblivion.”
  11. cyrollan: “Whoa, EVERYBODY used to poop?”
  12. Phillip L: Holy cow, why did Beth have to die? WHY?????
  13. Danchez: “On the night before his Today Show appearance, Tom Cruise looked up the definition of the word ‘glib’ and his world was forever changed.”
  14. Austin: “On second reading, the whole Twilight fanfic thing does seem pretty obvious.”
  15. Scott K: “It’s a good script and all…I just think there’s still room for a few more sprinting scenes.”
  16. Robert: “… so that’s where the money is …”
  17. Juan D: Bella … no … you’re choosing the wrong one!!!
  18. akChris20: “This book will self destruct in 5 seconds”
  19. Marcus E: So… this “Battlefield Earth” is written by the same guy who founded my religion? Maybe I should rethink this Scientology thing.
  20. Adam C: “Eat Pray Love. Who’s Pray Love…?”
  21. David B: Jack Reacher is 6’5″ tall with a 50-inch chest, and weighing between 220 and 250 pounds. He has ice-blue eyes and dirty blond hair. “Call my agent, I could so play this role.”
  22. Zuria: This book is worth the $350 I paid on eBay for the Ni No Kuni Wizard’s edition!
  23. Peter F: “Huh, ‘The Nothing’ in this book sounds a lot like my ex-wife…”
  24. Martin L: Even after reading the extensive manual it was not clear to Tom how to set the crossover and if his speaker size was really small………
  25. Mark B: Jesus. READING a Damon Lindelof screenplay is even worse than LISTENING to one being performed…
The Winner!

Those are all pretty damn funny (Martin, I sympathize on the crossover settings), but for me, one entry really nailed this. This one from Eric H. makes me laugh when I look at the image, because I can picture Tom Cruise saying exactly this every time he picks up a book:

“I got the need, the need to read!”

In fact, I feel certain that’s just what he does.

Congratulations to Eric for winning the Walmart exclusive MetalPak edition of ‘Oblivion‘ on Blu-ray, and thanks to everyone else for participating in our contest. Be sure to enter our ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ contest before the deadline on Friday.


  1. EM

    Congratulations, Eric! And thank you, Josh, for (a) choosing me as an Honorable Mention winner and (b) not choosing me as a prizewinner. 😉

  2. Timcharger

    I don’t think I entered at all, because each time I looked at the contest, I kept laughing at almost every submission. Good effort, everyone.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *