‘Jupiter Ascending’ Contest Results

Well, that’s a little better. We went back to the photo caption format for last week’s ‘Jupiter Ascending’ contest and had a reasonably decent turnout, certainly better than last month’s misbegotten ‘American Sniper’ contest. I appreciate that, so let’s give away the prize!

Participation didn’t set any record or anything, but I’ll chalk that up to our holding the contest a week after the disc had already been released. Regardless, we got some pretty funny entries.

As explained in the original post, we challenged you to provide funny or clever captions for the following image:

And the winner is…

Honorable Mentions

  1. Carl C: I can’t believe my agent got me a movie with Milla. All my dreams really are coming true.
    We are so going to hit it off. I’ve thought about you ever since that first Resident Evil movie.
    Oh man, she’s right behind me, OK, turn around slowly and be cool…
  2. Justin M: “I hear footsteps behind me, and they don’t sound like Channing Tatum-sized footsteps. There better be some Magic Mike motherfucker behind me when I turn around.”
  3. Chapz K: Friends with benefits? Tempting offer…
  4. Ian C: “I’m reminiscing of a bygone era, one when a Wachowski movie actually had a coherent plot……”
  5. NJScorpio: “Come…sit…this ‘Sense8′ is surprisingly good…”
  6. Jim M: I know. You were thinking this was going to be another Matrix. We were both wrong. …so VERY wrong.
  7. Warner: Hearing Eddie’s chuckle Mila realized …. this was not the set of the new Star Wars movie! Punk’d by Ashton again!!!!!
  8. Timcharger: Here’s why shooting for 3D can really suck! This was supposed to be a love scene between Eddie and Mila. But the 3D cinematographers got involved and framed the shot this way.
  9. Brian S: Can I call you Rockwell? Because I always feel like sombody’s watching me.
  10. KiKS: “Hello Clarice…”
  11. Csm101: “…I shall call her Mini-Mila.”
  12. Eugene: “You think you rock the leather? This is how you rock the leather, honey!”
  13. Jim M: Remember: In space, no one can hear you yawn.
  14. MiguelNH: With the latest update, this amazing finger can now get over 1000 cable channels
  15. Salvador C: Why can’t I stop thinking about Caitlyn Jenner?

The Winners!

moremovies85 really nailed the essence of Eddie Redmayne’s performance in this movie:

“I’m going to be known around the world for my new style of acting: whisper yelling!”

Alex had the cleverest entry:

“I gotta tell you, this chair is way more comfortable than the last one I had…”

Congratulations to moremovies85 and Alex for winning ‘Jupiter Ascending‘ on Blu-ray, and thanks to everyone else for participating in our contest.


  1. moremovies85

    Thanks for the win! Eddie Redmayne is favorite part of the movie, it’s such a unique performance. He knew what kind of movie he was in and was much more interesting than either of the leads.

  2. NJScorpio


    It’s tough to go up against an entry that references content from the movie, when you haven’t seen it. Then again, if you saw it, then you won it…are you going to watch it again? 😛

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