‘Hacksaw Ridge’ Contest Results

Shortly after posting last week’s ‘Hacksaw Ridge’ contest, I realized that I easily could have kept one of our spare copies of the movie for myself. Luckily for our readers, I’m not that selfish. I promised to give away two copies, and that’s exactly what will happen today.

As explained in the original post, we challenged you to provide funny or clever captions for the following image:

And the winners are…

Honorable Mentions

  1. Csm101: “I don’t know what I find more disturbing, your creepy smiling face, or the Hitler impersonator at my 2:00.”
  2. Andrew: “Mel was mumbling something about Jews so I figured I probably shouldn’t bring my gun out here.”
  3. Jared M: “Smile! Ooooooh Simon didn’t say, silly! You’re out!”
  4. Luke C: “Hey Vince…crash any weddings over the weekend?”
  5. Leon D: What are holding behind your back private?
    – An Oscar for the director of La La Land, sir!
    Drop and give me 20!
  6. Matt L: Sony’s casting call to replace Tom Holland for their 4th Spider-Man reboot.
  7. Scott D Private Doss are you running on DOS? Don’t make me defrag your non rifle carrying ass!!!
  8. Patrick T: The key to survival in any battle are the Five D’s: Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck… and Dodge!!!
  9. Art A: Yes, I’m Santa’s brother. You have a problem with that, maggot?
  10. Barry D: Yes, yes I did get paid for doing Delivery Man. It really isn’t that funny, Garfield.
  11. Kashtarreaper Avengers boot camp has gotten a little weak.
  12. Ken O: Here I was hoping for Captain America and all I get is Spider-Man.
  13. Michael B: “You’re killing me with that smile private! Your job is to kill the enemy, not me!”
  14. Timcharger: “I HAVE a gun. No one loves guns more than me. Lyin’ media with their fake news about me with no-guns. Who are you believe? Videos of me without a gun from the lyin’ media or me? I’m all about guns. All into them, big league!”
  15. Salvador C: “Sorry Drill Sergeant. I’m only smiling to hide the pain of losing my Spider-Man gig.”

The Winners!

Hannah started this contest off strong with the very first entry, which was also one of the best:

Howell: Something funny to you, private?
Doss: No, Sargent, especially not Couples Retreat.

We got a lot of jokes at Vince Vaughn’s expense. I hesitate to pick a second winner that’s kind-of similar to the first one, but damn, Paul here is just spot-on:

“Son, can you explain to me why you don’t have a rifle?”
“Sir, yes sir. As soon as you can explain season 2 of True Detective, sir.”

Congratulations to Hannah and Paul for winning Ultra HD + Blu-ray copies of ‘Hacksaw Ridge‘, and thanks to everyone else for participating in our contest.


  1. Deaditelord

    Hannah when I read your post, I knew it had a great chance at winning because it made me burst out laughing. Ditto with Paul’s hilarious entry, which was equally spot on. Congratulations to both of you!

  2. Timcharger

    These results are rigged! Crooked Josh. Everyone knows my captions had 1, 1.5 million more people laughing. Believe me. No one makes better captions than me. Fake results, fake contest.

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