Bond 50 Contest Results!

I take it that a few of you out there were slightly interested in winning a copy of the terrific ‘Bond 50’ box set? I thought that we had a huge turnout for our ‘Indiana Jones’ contest, but you quickly blew that one out of the water. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long to sort through all the entries, but the time has finally come to announce the winner.

Honestly, I wish that I had about 800 copies of the ‘Bond 50‘ box set to give away. You guys deserve them. Sadly, I have only one.

As described in the original post, our challenge was to come up with a funny or clever caption for the following image:

You have no idea how difficult it was to pick a single winner from the hundreds of utterly hilarious responses. Just narrowing down the results to 50 Honorable Mentions (for Bond 50, naturally) was a huge challenge that required some heartbreaking eliminations of many perfectly good submissions.

  1. T.K.: “Come on, ask me. Ask me if I expect you to talk. I’ve gotta killer comeback ready, just COME ON!”
  2. Sam C: “Mr. Bond, I assure you it will work. It’s from Apple.”
  3. Alex: “This is payback for Highlander II.”
  4. Tom H: “Shouldn’t we agree on a safety word, first?”
  5. Dr. Gonzo: “This never happened to the other chap.”
  6. Andrew R: “If you think this needle is a bit excessive, try buying seemingly random three movie sets of your films only to then have to purchase one big box set, Mr. Bond!”
  7. Daniel S: “Yes, it looks fancy and it was expensive, but all it does is make coffee. A DAMN GOOD cup of coffee.”
  8. Kevin M: “No Mr Bond., I expect you to live and be replaced by 5 other men.”
  9. Jim: “If it makes you feel better, we’ll be scanning you at 4K to preserve for future generations.”
  10. Nick M: “Obviously, Oddjob has taken Cialis”
  11. Paul: “I’m gonna get you high today Mr.Bond, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job…and you ain’t got shit to do.”
  12. Andrew M: “Only $50 on ebay!”
  13. Chad W: “This is the Chicago way, Mr. Bond!!!”
  14. Evan W: “I swear the Seahawks scored a touchdown on the last play of the game. I swear!”
  15. Dan: “No, wait! I called YOU a big prick!”
  16. frogmeat69: “Boy, Blockbuster’s late return fees are getting to be excessive, I’m signing up with Netflix!!!”
  17. Tyler S: “Mine’s still bigger.”
  18. Stuart B: “A beauty, ain’t she? Only 6 more payments…”
  19. Bill: “I hadn’t considered that. I suppose it is rather phallic at that, Mr Bond.”
  20. Kenneth: “Umm, I thought you said dinner first?”
  21. Aaron M: “I see your schwartz is as big as mine!”
  22. Mark H: “You WILL like my next Facebook post.”
  23. Ernst: “I’m afraid this is what happens when you break the first rule of Fight Club.”
  24. EM: “This Is Incinerama!”
  25. Robbie0: “Do you expect me to win?” / “No, Mister Bond, I expect you to BUY!”
  26. Dan: “What I really wanted was sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads.”
  27. Sharkdaddy: “Dr…………NO!!!!!!!!!!”
  28. Devin L: “Screw this…I’ve worked with Alfred Hitchcock!”
  29. Isaac F: “I’ll ask you one last time, Mr. Bond. What the hell does Quantum of Solace mean?”
  30. Louie: “You’re lucky the big one is being repaired.”
  31. Max: “I think I’ll stick to Viagra.”
  32. Evan: “Why yes, I AM overcompensating for something.”
  33. Brad: “Ladies and Gentlemen, for my next trick I’m going to need a surly Scotsman with a lot of trust.”
  34. Dennis W: “All right George, I’ll look at your script for Indiana Jones 5.”
  35. D_stills: “I know right? They told me the 42 inch will be more than enough but I decided to splurge for the 50”
  36. Quentin H: “Left or right? There can be only one.”
  37. Daniel C: “You think this is painful? Try going to the midnight screening of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.”
  38. Eddie G: “First, we methodically remove the ‘donor’ hair…”
  39. Matthew S: “Prepare to be 002 and 1/8th.”
  40. Chris P: “Your choice is this… or being forced to watch The Jay Leno Show.”
  41. Kirby A: “Man, you make ONE late payment at Best Buy…”
  42. Chris: “On the plus side, Mr. Bond. You’ll save a fortune on prophylactics.”
  43. Gareth C: “This is tungsten, Mr. Bond. All my life I have been in love with its color, its paramagnetism, its divine melting point. Unfortunately our family name is ‘Goldfinger,’ and my father gave me the ridiculous forename Auric. I gave up my dream of tungsten research to take over my father’s gold orchard. But enough about me, Mr. Bond. You are about to be seared in twain by my awesome laser.”
  44. Anthony S: “So, you prefer the blue laser instead, eh?”
  45. Jeff W: “Just sit tight, we’re having to install a new driver and restart…what are you gonna do, Windows, it’s our cross to bear.”
  46. Tina C: “This is a little something I learned from 50 Shades of Grey.”
  47. BambooLounge: “Look! Look! When you tilt it, her clothes come off. Genius!”
  48. Cory: “And now we know why MGM faced bankruptcy – they spent their entire budget on one prop.”
  49. DemLo: “Once I fire it up, it will take two weeks for the ray to reach you and completely obliterate your testicles. I call it ‘The Honorable Mention’.”
  50. Adam: I can’t think of anything funny or witty to say about this scene. When I look at this picture all I see is what I consider one of the best, coolest, iconic Bond moments. I have memories of my Dad sitting me down in front our large wood encased tube TV, popping the VHS into the top loading player (still remember the buzzing, clicking sound)and then slowly and joyfully having my mind blown. Goldfinger was my first and it started a lifelong love for the series. I devoured everything Bond as a kid. I’ve read all the books multiple times (even the non-Fleming ones) I’ve seen all the movies (of course.) I have a prized Corgi Austin Martin with working ejector seat. My wife just laughs and rolls her eyes when I give her my best Bond line while trying to woo her. Bond started my obsession with movies. I can’t wait until my daughter is old enough and I can share these movies with her…starting with Goldfinger.
The Winner!

Can I explain why Chris M’s caption made me laugh even harder than all of these other fine entries? Perhaps not, but I suspect that Ian Fleming would approve.

When I used this on my last subject, she was called Pussy Alittle…

Congratulations to Chris for winning the ‘Bond 50’ box set on Blu-ray, and thanks to everyone else for participating! I need a nap after this.


  1. Chris M

    Thanks… as you all know, it was incredibly difficult to come up with TEN different things you could say about that picture! Thank you High Def Digest! You made my Christmas!

  2. Chaz Dumbaugh

    Heh, I’m not even much of a Bond fan, have never seen that particular movie that this clip is from, try coming up with something that works then 😉

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