It’s contest time, folks! Do you love videogames? Do you love comedy? Do you just plain love winning stuff? We’re giving away the entire 6-disc DVD set of ‘Red vs. Blue,’ and it couldn’t be any simpler to get it. All we want is for you to come up with 17 great syllables relating to ‘Halo’.
To win the contest, you’ll need to write a haiku about ‘Halo.’ For the purposes of this contest, your haiku must be in the standard 5-7-5 format, meaning you’ve got a total of 17 syllables to work with. (5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line, 5 syllables in the third line.) For example, here’s a haiku I cooked up:
Why, plasma grenade
Must you always stick to me?
I hate exploding
And here’s one from Josh for good measure:
Covenant bodies
Flying through the air. Love that
Gravity Hammer!
Entries that don’t follow this format cannot win. All haikus must be limited to only one stanza in length.
The haiku doesn’t have to be funny, but it does have to be related to ‘Halo’. If it’s not specific to ‘Halo,’ then it should at least relate to the franchise or the experience in some way. A haiku about multiplayer gaming is fine, but a haiku about Mario just won’t fly. Post your haiku in the comments by July 6th and you’re good to go. After the 6th, no more entries will be accepted. I’ll announce the results on Monday, July 12th.
The prize is the new ‘Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles – The First Five Seasons‘ 6-disc DVD set, which carries an MSRP of $59.95. You’ll also get a ‘Red vs. Blue’ T-shirt (Large), plus some buttons and bumper stickers from the guys at Rooster Teeth.
If you’ve never seen ‘Red vs. Blue,’ then you’ve been missing out on some amazing stuff. It’s a web-based comedy series based on, and created in, the ‘Halo’ games. Almost all of the episodes were created entirely in multiplayer modes of the games, with video editing and voiceover work creating the story. But most importantly, it’s funny. I mean, really funny.
Game-based humor is easy to do, but it’s hard to do well. For every Penny Arcade, there are a hundred other videogame based sites that just can’t pull it off. ‘Red vs. Blue’ does it flawlessly. The show starts by getting to the very root of the multiplayer problem and then building from there. If my words of praise aren’t enough, you can always check the series out for yourself. Start with the first episode and go from there. You’ll be hooked in no time.
This contest is only open to entrants from the domestic United States. We will not ship internationally (whether you’re a U.S. citizen or not). Employees of High-Def Digest or Internet Brands and their families are not eligible. Standard contest rules and conditions apply. Oh, and if you won our last contest, you can’t win this one. Sorry! (You may get an Honorable Mention, though.)
Only one entry per person allowed. You may choose to rescind an entry if you come up with a better haiku later, but you run the risk that I may like the older one better. Winners will be chosen at my own subjective discretion.
Sadly, we only have one copy of this prize pack to give away. So there can only be one winner, and no Runners Up this time.
Good luck to everyone who enters!
[The idea for this contest was inspired by the Topless Robot blog, which holds awesome and hilarious haiku contests regularly.]
Jayson
I despise the flood
They remind me of herpes
Valtrex can’t help that
steve
Master Chief and friends
Take on the Covenant filth.
Grunt heads A-sploding!
I Pwnzor teh n00bz!
All Ur Baze R belong 2 Us!
I have 1337 Haxxorz!
Jared Matthew Thomson
Hop in my warthog
I will ride to the red base
Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Boom.
Andrew DeVore
Caboose could try to help
But then he’d kill Church again
And then blame Tucker
Andrew DeVore
*edit
Caboose tries to help
But then he explodes church
And then blames Tucker
Andrew DeVore
*Edit…again
Caboose tries to help
But then he kills church again
And then blames Tucker
Godstar
My beloved Cortana,
her whispering loneliness,
echoes within me.
Godstar
Ug, miscounted the first line (2nd attempt):
My love, Cortana,
her whispering loneliness,
echoes within me.
Bane
Kids are excited
For the Grunt birthday party.
Their cries fill the air.
McKenzie White
I love Halo 3
It always brings joy to me
Red vs. Blue too
Good Ole JR
I call the warthog
teamkill to get to it first
Kicked from the game
David
Mister Master Chief
Cruisin suave, rockin’ a hog
no care to espy.
David
Edit:
Chief and Coratna
Cruisin’ suave, rockin’ a hog,
no care to espy.
David
Spelled Cortana wrong…
Chief and Cortana
cruisin’ suave, drivin’ a hog,
no care to espy.
McKenzie White
Griff likes the puma
Sarge likes the warthog better
Caboose loves Shela
Josh Zyber
I’ve bumped this post back up to give it some more visibility before the deadline.
John Burgess
Lone enemy noob
Sweet ‘nades in the face glow blue
Click stick to teabag
Ken Machacek
The last words I hear:
“Eat my sticky grenade, noob!”
Pwned by grade schooler.
Turd Furgeson
Near Peppered Like Beef
–
“Missed Me, Master Queef!” I Speak
–
As I Wear Stained Briefs
David
BOOM Headshot!
Five, Four, Three, Two, One, BEEP!
-blam-! spawn-killed!!!
Josh Zyber
A reminder that today is the deadline for this contest, folks. Get your entries in while you can!
Dick Ward
AuthorRight on!
There are some great entries so far, but it’s not to late to sneak in and win this thing!
David
Plasmas glowing blue
Exploding cones hit my head
Oh -blam-! now i’m dead!
Josh Zyber
OK, guys, the contest deadline is officially up. The results will be announced soon. Thanks to everyone who participated!