Last week, we offered you the chance to win ‘The Evil Dead’ and ‘Hatchet’ on Blu-ray. All you had to do was write a haiku on the theme of horror movies. Follow us after the break to find out the winners.

We received a ton of great responses to the contest. Really, every comment deserves an honorable mention. There wasn’t a bad one in the bunch. A couple had to be disqualified for not following the proper 5-7-5 haiku structure, but even those were otherwise funny or clever. Narrowing down the field to a handful of Honorable Mentions and only two winners was incredibly difficult. Most of those not mentioned below were equally worthy of inclusion. But, for whatever reason, these are the ones that stood out to me.

Honorable Mentions

We’ll start out with a tribute to a real old-school horror classic, Tod Browning’s ‘Freaks’. Stuart wrote:

Gooble gobble goo
We accept you, one of us!
Gooble gobble goo

Nicely done. Next, Alex pays homage to another classic, ‘Psycho‘:

Behind the peep-hole
She takes her final shower.
I love my Mommy!

Very funny. From there, Christina takes us to the opposite end of the spectrum with this:

I poo in your mouth
Like a Human Centipede
High-Def Digestion!

Ewwwwww…. I like that you managed to incorporate our site’s name in the pun, even if it’s gross.

Shayne didn’t single out a particular movie, just zombies in general. But zombies are awesome, so I’m highlighting his entry:

I know you are there
Because I can smell your brains
More paramedics

The contest didn’t require anyone to write a haiku about either of the horror movies being given away as prizes, but still quite a few people wrote up ‘Evil Dead’ entries. Adam’s was one of my favorite:

The woods are evil
Ahh! Kandarian Demon!
A Chainsaw sounds in the night.

And it’s nice to see someone show a little love for the B-title as well. Chaz wrote:

Hatchet is a Blast
Violence and Gore Galore
Best Head Rip Ever

Karl actually managed to make a ‘Friday the 13th‘ movie sound scary. That’s quite an achievement.

Oh my god it’s him
Hockey mask and knife in hand
Run, god damn it, run!

We had a couple of entries about one of my favorite horror movies, John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing‘. Both were good, but I found J’s to be particularly evocative:

In Antarctica
You cannot know friend or foe
We freeze together

Heather’s haiku about ‘Sleepaway Camp’ is a riot:

I am Angela
I hate camp, but big surprise…
I’ve got a ding dong!

Finally, Jared won me over with his twisted take on a beloved family classic:

Jack Skellington Wants
Christmas For Himself Or Else
It will be bloody

Great job, everyone! I love each and every one of these. Unfortunately, we only have two prize packs to give out. Without further ado, here are…

The Winners!

Austin wrote:

No way I’m leading,
I’ve seen those horror movies.
The black guy dies first!

So hilarious and so true. Perfectly done.

As I said earlier, writing about ‘The Evil Dead’ or ‘Hatchet’ was not required for this contest. When judging, I made it a point not to give any special favoritism to those entries. However, Andy here not only managed to work in an ‘Evil Dead’ reference, he also speaks directly to the videophile concerns of our discerning Blu-ray loving readership.

Evil Dead on blu
No DNR or EE
Time to fix part 2

Congratulations to both Austin and Andy! Each has won a prize pack containing copies of ‘The Evil Dead‘ and ‘Hatchet: Unrated Director’s Cut‘ on Blu-ray.

Thanks to everyone who entered. If you didn’t win this time, believe it or not, you may get another opportunity very, very soon.