Weekend Movies: Can the ‘Titanic’ Sink ‘The Hunger Games’?

Once again, we have another underwhelming weekend. My guess is that studios still don’t want to go head-to-head with ‘The Hunger Games’. Can we hurry up and get into May already? I’m antsy for ‘The Avengers’.

The big opener this weekend is the fourth theatrical installment of the ‘American Pie’ series, called ‘American Reunion‘. Every familiar face from the three previous movies comes back to town for the class of 1999’s 13-year reunion. (No, I’m not joking. They are celebrating the 13th anniversary of their graduation. Not 10th. Not 15th. It’s the 13th.) It doesn’t take long for our characters to get back into some wild shenanigans that require a whole lot of apologizing. Sure, it’ll make you laugh, but this cameo-congested comedy lacks the most important thing that makes a movie good – a solid story. If you want to relive the past (like the main characters do), simply revisit the original film. ‘Reunion’ deserves to be relegated to direct-to-video status.

The second largest opener of the weekend is Paramount’s 3D re-release of ‘Titanic‘. If somebody asked me, “What’s the last movie you’d ever pay to see in 3D on the big screen?,” I’d say ‘Jack and Jill’. If they asked me what the second one would be, I’d say ‘Titanic’. Really?! ‘Titanic’ needs a 3D re-release? The bajillion dollars it made 15 years ago wasn’t enough? Just give us the damn Blu-ray already and leave it alone. Stop it, James Cameron. We already have one George Lucas and don’t need or want another. I’m hoping that ‘Titanic 3D’ follows the route of ‘The Phantom Menace’ and under-performs. You can tweet James Cameron at the bottom of the ocean and tell him I said so.

Of this week’s indie releases, I highly recommend ‘Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope‘. Morgan Spurlock’s latest documentary gives you an all-access pass to the convention that brings in over 150,000 people from across the globe each year. ‘A Fan’s Hope’ follows several attendees and a vendor on various missions – all including their passionate dreams. Instead of showing the movie-centric, celebrity-filled stuff of Hall H that news stories are made of, ‘A Fan’s Hope’ shows you the other 95% of the convention. The glue that holds different stories together are testimonials from many of the famous geeks who also attend each year. Talk about a crowd-pleaser! This is one documentary that you don’t want to miss.

How in the hell does a movie like ‘ATM‘ get made? The plot description doesn’t sound scary or intense; it just sounds stupid. I first learned of ‘ATM’ when Aaron Peck told me about the premise while waiting in line at Sundance. I was 100% sure that he was joking. This can’t be real, can it? But it is. Late one night, a trio of twenty-somethings make a run to the ATM and are trapped inside by an unknown hooded psycho. The trailer appears to show the entire movie, my favorite part being when the ATM booth is filled with water. Give me a break. IFC usual goes for edgy indie entertainment, not crap horror.

Another little indie horror movie, this one with a comedic twist, opening this weekend is ‘Detention‘. The movie co-stars Dane Cook, but I’m sure the real reason it’s being released is because it stars Josh Hutcherson of the very successful recent movies ‘The Hunger Games’ and ‘Journey 2: The Mysterious Island’. We all know that the world is burned-out on Dane Cook, so this has to be a result of Hutcherson alone. Right?

Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill take the big screen in a thriller that sounds like the opposite of ‘The Grey’. In ‘The Hunter‘, a mercenary is hired to wander the Tasmanian wilderness in search of the last remaining tiger of its species. One guy must battle the elements to defeat a wild animal. IMDb lists ‘The Hunter’ as an adventure drama, so naturally I’m in.

Finally, the French film ‘The Assault‘ opens this weekend. Had I not seen ‘The Raid’, I would probably be excited for it. But because it seems like a mix of ‘The Raid’ and ‘Gamer’, I’m out.

4 comments

  1. JM

    “Neil deGrasse Tyson sent me quite a snarky email saying that, at that time of year, in that position in the Atlantic in 1912, when Rose is lying on the piece of driftwood and staring up at the stars, that is not the star field she would have seen. And with my reputation as a perfectionist, I should have known that and I should have put the right star field in. So I said ‘All right, send me the right stars for that exact time and I’ll put it in the movie.’” – James Cameron

  2. Deaditelord

    If memory serves, I believe IFC is responsible for the stomach churning Human Centipede movies so technically, yes, they do make crap horror.

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