Weekend Movies: Cat Scratch Fever

As if trying to get into theaters before the summer blockbusters start rolling out, this weekend offers a trio of new movies – only one of which is mildly appealing – that attempt to capitalize on the fact that ‘The Jungle Book’ is finally running out of steam.

No one asked for it, but Garry Marshall felt like giving us a third ‘[insert holiday of choice] Day’ movie anyway. 2010’s ‘Valentine’s Day‘ was as enjoyable as getting shot with an arrow to the face. 2011’s ‘New Year’s Eve‘ was even more pathetic than spending a holiday alone. And now we have ‘Mother’s Day‘, another ensemble dramedy. Instead of taking place over the single day of the title, Round Three spans the entire week leading up to it. I bet you didn’t see that twist coming, did you? The cast, once again, consists of “That makes sense,” a few “Why are they in this?” and a couple “Oh, [he/she] is still working” actors. I’ll let you decide which of the categories the following stars fit into: Julia Roberts, Timothy Olyphant, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Margo Martindale, Sarah Chalke, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Garner, Britt Robertson, Jon Lovitz and – of course – Penny Marshall. ‘Mother’s Day’ is playing on 3,000 screens.

Opening on 2,900 screens is an animated flick that I predict will be the next massive flop of 2016. The videogame adaptation ‘Ratchet & Clank‘ tells the story of a Rocket Raccoon-like character who, with his trusty robotic sidekick, must stop a new threat invading the galaxy. The lead characters are voiced by cinematic no-names, but supporting characters are voiced by Sylvester Stallone, Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson and John Goodman.

On 2,600 screens is the big-screen star vehicle for television greats Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, better known as ‘Key & Peele’. In ‘Keanu‘, the duo play buddies so committed to one another that, when their cute little kitten is kidnapped by a local drug kingpin, they put on a front as drug dealers just to get the furry friend back. The R-rated comedy co-stars Will Forte, Method Man, Luis Guzman and Rob Huebel.

Jason Bateman took a crack at directing a feature film in 2013 with the lackluster dark comedy ‘Bad Words‘. His sophomore attempt is the new drama ‘The Family Fang‘. Bateman and Nicole Kidman lead the cast as two siblings, the product of a very dysfunctional family upbringing. When it appears that their parents have been murdered and are missing, one suspects that the whole thing is another of their twisted parents’ hoaxes. The truth can only be uncovered if by seeking them out. Christopher Walken and Kathryn Hahn co-star.

Opening exclusively on a handful of IMAX screens is the new eye-popping science documentary ‘A Beautiful Planet‘. The 45-minute picture features footage from the International Space Station and is narrated by Jennifer Lawrence.

1 comment

  1. NJScorpio

    If someone said to me, “Wanna go to the movies this weekend?” I’d say, “Sure, let’s go see ‘Keanu’!

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