Moms put up with a lot. As we head into Mother’s Day this weekend, let’s take a moment to remember some of the brattiest, whiniest, and most ill-behaved children from movies and TV who have made their parents’ lives hell.
Long before Liam Neeson went ‘Taken’ in search of the unworldly Maggie Grace, ‘24‘ introduced the world to the iconic Jack Bauer… and his beautiful but troubled daughter Kim Bauer. With apologies to the events of much later seasons that I did not stick around for, early Kim highlights (as in before she was written off/left the show) include getting kidnapped by terrorists, getting captured by a drug dealer, then arrested, then kidnapped again, etc. and even running into a mountain lion in the hills of Los Angeles. But what makes it all worse for me is that in Season 3 of ’24’, Kim goes from hapless dependent of Jack to hapless dependent who also works at CTU and is in a relationship with another CTU agent, the results of which amp the annoyance levels way up.
M. Enois Duarte
The action-comedy classic ‘Kindergarten Cop‘ features an entire classroom of barbaric, rotten rugrats. The one kid who has always stood out as both the most obnoxiously funny and memorably irritating is Miko Hughes’s Joseph. This is the little boy who gives Schwarzenegger’s undercover cop a quick anatomy lesson on the first day and continues to be a hilariously unpleasant snot-nose brat for the remainder of the movie. Later, he reveals the origins of his knowledge when he announces his father is a gynecologist, providing another gut-busting moment. For me, that’s the moment we essentially know this kid is terribly spoiled at home. In the end, Joseph is a lovable doofus.
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk)
I’ve never actually subjected myself to ‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr.‘, so I can’t speak to how much of a nightmare this kid is to his parents. Well, I’m assuming that’s actually “parent,” singular, since this direct-to-video sequel didn’t exactly have the budget to wrangle in Jim Carrey as his proud papa (and there’s no Ace, Sr. credited in IMDb).
For whatever reason, I have willingly suffered through several YouTube clips. If you’re feeling masochistic, take a peek at this excerpt. That it’s shot off-screen and subtitled makes it all the more wonderfully agonizing:
I have a sizeable stack of movies about murderous kids, and I’d still brave zombie children or psychotic rugrats over Ace Ventura, Jr. any day of the week. I pity his poor mom, facing this little terror all by her lonesome.
Chris Boylan (Big Picture Big Sound)
Hmmm…. bad kids, huh? Well, a few movie children make me cherish my own 12-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son more than usual. Damien from ‘The Omen‘ is a true little shit. I mean, I know he’s the spawn of Satan and all, but when he’s around, bad things happen: a hanging nanny, an impaled priest, a decapitated photographer, packs of vicious roving Rottweilers, and murdered parents. (Spoiler alert! Oops, too late…) Anyway, if you want to feel better about your own demon child, watch ‘The Omen’ and see just how much worse it could be.
I understand that, in theory, ‘Home Alone‘ is supposed to be a heart-warming comedy about an adorable tyke who is accidentally abandoned by his neglectful parents and must use his ingenuity to save the family home from a pair of sneaky robbers. Millions of people bought into this premise back in 1990, enough to turn the movie into a huge blockbuster hit and spawn a series of sequels and spinoffs.
The thing is, little Kevin McCallister is a full-on sociopath who delights in torturing and physically harming others and destroying the house. The circumstances by which he got left home alone in the first place are also mostly his own fault. If I were this kid’s parent, I’d want to ditch him too.
What movie and TV kids are really just the worst? Tell us your picks in the Comments.