Say what you will about his skills (or lack thereof) as a storyteller, Michael Bay’s movies always make for nice home theater eye- and ear-candy. Now you have the chance to win the director’s latest robot slugfest, ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’, on Blu-ray. Don’t miss your chance. Follow after the break for the rules on how to win.
‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon‘ comes to Blu-ray with sterling 1080p video in all the glorious teal and orange shades that Michael Bay can conjure, and a slam-bang Dolby TrueHD 7.1 soundtrack. Watch the following video for details on how the 7.1 track was mixed.
Dolby TrueHD 7.1 Interview with Transformers: Dark of the Moon re-recording mixer, Greg Russell from Michael Coleman on Vimeo.
We have two copies of the disc to give away to lucky readers. How do you win? That’s easy. Just answer the following question:
If you were a Transformer, what would your robot name be and what would you transform into? Extra details such as what allegiance you’d be (Autobot or Decepticon) are also welcome, along with any other story details you can come up with. However, please note that the names and descriptions cannot be based on any already-existing Transformer character or toy. These have to be original ideas.
For example, my name would be Spin Doctor. I would transform into a helicopter (hence the “spin”), and I would be the Decepticons’ Director of Propaganda and Public Relations. Because frankly, if the Decepticons really want to take over the planet, they need someone to help them win the hearts and minds of the native populace, to make the pathetic humans believe that being conquered by evil robots from outer space would actually be a good thing. The lack of such a specialist has been a major failing of their strategy thus far, in my opinion.
The two cleverest, funniest, or just plain most interesting entries, as selected at our own subjective discretion, will each win one copy of ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’ on Blu-ray.
Entries are limited to 10 per person. That should give you plenty of opportunity to craft a good submission, but will also help us to avoid any potential appearance of awarding prizes based on volume rather than quality.
This contest is only open to entrants from the domestic United States. We will not ship internationally (whether you’re a U.S. citizen or not). Employees of High-Def Digest or Internet Brands and their families are not eligible. Standard contest rules and conditions apply. People who have won any of our previous contests within the past one year are also not eligible to win, but may get Honorable Mentions.
The deadline for entry is this Friday, October 7th. The winners will be announced next week.
Autobots, transform and roll out!
I would be One-Liner and I’d transorm into a Autobot motorcycle. One-Liner would only speak in one-liners, such as “That really revs my engines” or “I’ve heard of engine freeze before, but this is ridiculous” or “Go ahead, I don’t shop here”.
While heading to Earth a glitch occurred resulting in me only being able to download classic ’80s and ’90s action films for reference.
After a few movies or seasons I will slowly be able to regain the ability to speak and will eventually become so elegant I win a formal debate against my nemisis, Spin Doctor. Sadly, Spin Doctor becomes so enraged by his loss that I take a cheap shot to my pixie dust cortex that I lose my newfound abilities and am left to only recite quotes from the The Rock.
I would be Pintobot and when the battle got fierce and i got hit in the rear I would explode and take out as many decepticons I could
my name would be douchebag and i would transform myslef in to a bad director who makes a trilogy out of toys called transformers and i would make those transformers as secondary characters and put in unnecessary subplots. 🙂
What? No 3D? That’s a pretty Paramount thing to do.
A Special Edition double-dip with 3D and bonus features is expected later in the year.
I’d be a decepticon called vampire who would transfom into a bat like form that drains energon .
I would be called Troll Face, and would transform into said Trollface for whenever the situation required it (such as when the Dinobots give a hilariously lame one-liner).
….or, whenever a Michael Bay Transformers film is deemed superior to the G1 cartoon by someone out there.
**For reference to the trollface, you can look here: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/trollface-coolface-problem#.ToogT7KVrKk **
Real Steel should have been called “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘ Em: The Movie”
I would be The Greener Leaner. Right-hand-autobot to Optimus Prime. I would transform into a Segway and the other Autobots would “lean on me” for support.
My name would be Rim Job. I would transform into a giant 18 wheel tank (hence the “rims”), and I would be the Decepticons’ Main Military Advisor and Captain. Because frankly, if the Decepticons really want to take over the planet, they need someone to lead them in the battlefield with skill and strength, to make the pathetic humans believe that being conquered by evil robots from outer space is terrifying. The rims on all of my tires would pop out and spin very quickly like a drill and destroy Autobots from the back in a circular motion. RIM JOB.
HAHA! “Rim Job! Use your powers to lick the Decepticons!”
I’d be Buster Nutt, and I’d transform into a giant nut-cracker. For obvious name reasons.
I’d be Grateful Deadheadicon. He’d start off as a rusty, beat up VW bus with curtains and a loud exhaust. The moment something like Davematt Prime or Blues Travicon or Ticketless Phish Fan spawns I’d turn into an enormous, sprawling, tie dye wearing, hippie dancing (read: white man’s washboard and/or circular arm flail) robot with catch phrases that would be familiar with Grateful Dead fans such as:
I’ve got your extra ticket right here (complete with forearm smash)
THIS is what Jerry would do (feigned toke followed by punch to the forehead)
Here’s my Stagger Lee (a punch to the crotch..very inside joke on a not so gentle part)
You WILL fade away (a devastating shot into oblivion)
I would reserve my “This is for everyone who got into the Dead AFTER Touch of Grey” for the moment that the world as we know it needs to cease.
I’d also fight top forty radio stations, the DEA, and the “establishment, maaaaannn”. By the time I would be done, there would be nothing but waves of grain and fields of…well…green. 🙂
I would be called No Breaks, I would be a rusted out hatchback that had the job of recon for the Autobots. I would also spend most of my time at the mechanic as a cover to speak with other transforming pos cars.
Edsel-Tron: Retired Autobot that time would have forgot if not for the occasional New York Times crossword puzzle clue.
Optimus Prius: Solar powered Autobot who isn’t much help in the dark of the moon.
BetaMax: No description necessary. Committed suicide in 1988.
Morrisphone: Decepticon spy sent to keep tabs on a young Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
My name would be Steakinator and I would transform between a refrigerated meat delivery truck and a Massive Porterhouse Steak Bot with powers to smother and smash like no others. I’d also shoot stink ray and mushroom venom, which is pretty cool!
Pornatron. He is a large, purple, and transforms into a phallus that attaches to the robo balls seen in the 2nd film. When he is not attached he makes a living delivering pizza and cleaning swimming pools. Pornatron stars in the Transformers offshoots, “Trans-moaners: Rise of the Sluts” and “Trans-moaners: Dark of my Arse-anal”. Both films are widely viewed as superior to the regular Transformer movies, featuring logical and simple plots coupled with nice, long shots.
Big George: Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing, Grilling Machine
D-Flux: Can turn into a DeLorean & travel at 88 MPH and turn back time. (Also uses alias M-Fly)
My wife would dub me “clue-less-icon”! I would constantly be losing track of where my favorite parts were, so I’d probably have to wind up transforming into a coffee table!
My name would be Metalback. I would transform into a 1967 Chevy Impala SS with dual exhaust ports. When I transform, the exhaust ports would be attached to my sides as my primary weapons. The left would have the ability to transform into my primary melee weapon, a big-ass hammer. The right one would be used as a plasma cannon. I’ve always liked the idea of being an Autobot sleeper agent. I would infiltrate the Decepticons under a different name and form until a chip inside me is activated that automatically reverts me to my Autobot form.
Ok ok my name would be daddy blaze because my son said I have to be a fire truck cuz they are cool. I guess I would go from school to school teaching kids how awesome the autobots are and how Decepticons suck. I would also always blare my horn and flash my lights cause I rock.
I would be called Never Accept Asinine Criticizing Prattle. I would transform into a time machine and prevent “The Director Who Must Not Be Named” from inserting our two best friends Skid and Mudflap into Transformers ROTF.
Another one I like for myself is Tail Pipe. I would be an Autobot who transforms into an Aston Martin Vanquish like the one seen in Die Another Day. I would have the ability to bend light and appear invisible. This would be vital since my character would be used in guerilla tactics. I would go in through the “back door” so to speak, hence the name Tail Pipe. My character likes giving it from behind.
If I were a decepticon my name would be Shell shocker. I would be a B52 bomber and just crop dust everything in my path.
Absolute Zero: To human eyes I am a Zamboni, but because I must transform on a moment’s notice once every two years to fight for the Autobots, I must move from rink to rink looking for work because I inevitably destroy the rink in front of frightened, confused spectators once I transform and skate out. I speak with a Canadian accent, laying the “aboot”s and “eh”s on incredibly thick while being ultra-polite to the Decepticons. Even though I am ostensibly a robot, I crave maple syrup and am enamored of William Shatner.
Hiram Schwarzbotovitz: I am a Decepticon that looks like a bank vault to Earthlings, but I control all the banks on Cybertron. The Decepticons don’t like me because I whine incessantly in a nasally voice and parse over miniscule legal details concerning how they wage war, refusing to fight myself because violence makes me nauseous. Nevertheless they depend on me as a reliable accountant and unscrupulous lawyer who has has slapped several successful lawsuits against Autobots for their discriminatory practices. I would fight for the Autobots, whom I believe are in the right, but the Decepticons pay me more and in solid gold.
I’d be Elefant Head, member of the Autobots and would transform into an elefant tank and also an elephant (anyone who says triple changer isn’t possible hasn’t watched Transformers much)
Im gonna enter my wife, she would be Nagatron member of the Decepticons. She transforms into a evil honey do list that never ends.
It might be Duff Minor,autobot, since Im too lazy to become a Prime sitting on my rear trying to win contests.