The Trailer Park: The Surefire Bets

The reason that studios love franchises (and remakes too for that matter) so much is that little effort has to be done in order to create a following. Basically, the characters are already established, so there’s no need for any of that pesky development nonsense and plots can easily be concocted on the fly. According to this logic, such movies are surefire bets at the summer box-office. Here are two modern action sequels that will likely support this.

Men in Black 3

While the first two ‘MIB’ flicks were mildly amusing sci-fi comedies, this third entry looks like a tired, lazy reiteration of what we’ve seen before. Even the faces of the movie’s two stars carry an air of boredom and a small tinge of regret for taking part in Barry Sonnenfeld’s next box-office flop. OK, I may be exaggerating just a small bit in that last part. The movie could likely hit it big when it opens in May. But honestly, this preview is terrible. Tommy Lee Jones seems uninvolved and Will Smith does his usual comedic shtick. The only visible hope at entertainment is in watching Josh Brolin’s imitation of Jones’s Agent K character. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

With a title like “Retaliation,” I was hoping for a G.I. Joe movie made by actual fans who were angry with Stephen Sommers’ insult to the beloved cartoon series. Silly thought, I know. Watching this preview, the best thing so far about this sequel is the deliberate impression that everyone from the first movie is dead. While it’s nice to see a couple of familiar characters spring up (especially a sneak peek at Cobra’ Commander’s mask), the big action extravaganza ultimately looks like another giant turd that will stink up the summer. The only real interest is in seeing how Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis do in their respective roles as Roadblock and General Colton, the original G.I. Joe. Still, I’ll wait for the Blu-ray.

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  1. Wholeheartedly agree on Men in Black. Does anyone still care about this franchise? I thought that the second movie pretty much killed everyone’s interest in seeing more. The mustache makes Will Smith look old, and everyone in the trailer seems like they’re sleepwalking through it.

    Can’t agree on the G.I. Joe: Retaliation trailer, though. As a fan of the toys who hated, hated, hated Stephen Sommers’ movie, this one looks like a thousands times improvement. I’ll have more thoughts on that in a future post, but this looks like it could be the G.I. Joe movie that I wanted the first time around.

    • i second your post. i saw the g.i. joe trailer last night and went thats the one i wanted the first time. i was crossing my fingers hoping not to see marlin wayins in the movie. got me excited. cant wait. cant stand will smith , cant stand josh brolin. will never see mib3.

  2. JM

    ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ is written by the screenwriters of ‘Zombieland.’

    Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. Their next project is ‘Deadpool.’

    • Ian Whitcombe

      Zombieland had some studio re-writes. William Goldman even polished the script.

      Still, interesting choice of screenwriters.

  3. JM

    I’ve been thinking all day for something nice to say about Barry Sonnenfeld, but I just can’t do it.

    MIB3 simply looks like his latest meh.

    It isn’t painful to endure, like ‘The Three Stooges’ trailer.

    But it didn’t excite me, like the sheer delight of seeing Sacha Baron Cohen in the teaser for ‘The Dictator.’

  4. CK

    I agree on the MIB trailer, though it can’t be much worse than the last . The only thing keeping my interest in this is Jemaine Clement.

    And, I have to disagree on GI Joe, I thought it looked like it might be okay. If only they had gotten rid of Tatum, it might have a chance at greatness, or at least better-than-averageness.

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