This week’s episode of ‘Hung’ finally allows the characters to acknowledge something that we the audience have been thinking all along – that Ray’s kids don’t look anything even remotely like him. No answer is given for this, but at least the question is officially out there on the characters’ minds. A lot of viewers complain that they don’t look like Jessica (Anne Heche) either, but I think they’re at least a reasonably plausible cross between her and Ronnie (Eddie Jemison). Why the show hasn’t just made that a plot point by now is still a mystery, unfortunately. Anyway, that all happens at the beginning of the episode. The rest of ‘Mind Bullets, or Bang Bang Bang Bang M.F.’ is primarily focused on Tanya and her rivalry with Lenore, which leads to one of the funniest moments in the series so far.
After accepting the gift from the wealthy woman last week, Tanya has become obsessed with her expensive Lanvin sweater. She wears it everywhere. Lenore enjoys taunting her and goading her into feeling guilty about it. Eventually, Tanya discovers that the sweater isn’t a real Lanvin at all, but a cheap (and scratchy) knockoff called a Lankin. She becomes convinced that Lenore somehow stole her original sweater and swapped it out.
Tanya meets again to seek counsel from the street pimp (Lennie James), who is very amused by her “one ho, two pimps” situation. He advises that she take Lenore out. She can interpret what that means however she deems appropriate.
Not helping this situation in the slightest is the fact that Tanya’s co-worker, Horny Patty, has been promoted to be her supervisor, and has cut back Tanya’s hours as a way to blackmail her into free services from Ray.
Eventually, Tanya’s paranoia about the sweater climaxes when she sees Lenore wearing a real Lanvin. Lenore of course claims that she got the idea to buy herself the sweater when she saw Tanya’s knockoff. Tanya doesn’t buy this for a second. She has a complete breakdown in a parking lot. In a fit of rage, she impulsively decides to steal Lenore’s dog (also named Horny Patty), and flees the parking lot screeching the phrase from the second half of the episode title. I really don’t think I can do it justice with this description, because the scene is truly goddamn hilarious.
In other developments, Jessica continues to pry into Ronnie’s financial affairs, and learns that business has been down much farther than he’s let on. Ronnie tries to distract her from this line of thought with talk about having another baby, but she’s more than a little suspicious of his motives.
Ray uses some of his extra cash from the second job to pay for new uniforms for the baseball team he coaches. His pride in this leads to a conversation with his kids about how he’s the type of guy who never would have talked to anyone like them in high school. Desperate to prove that he’s not a jerk, he makes a show of being friends with Tanya. The results are awkward at best. Tanya finally tells him about her situation at work, and begs him to sleep with Horny Patty (the woman, not the dog). Ray will do it, but not for free. So Tanya winds up paying him to take care of it. This isn’t how the pimp-ho relationship is supposed to work.
As for the other Horny Patty, Tanya’s guilt about stealing the dog overwhelms her. She tries to return it, only to find that Lenore doesn’t give a damn. She’s already replaced the dog with a new one. They’re as disposable to her as any other object. Tanya throws the dog in Lenore’s apartment and runs away.
The episode ends with an interesting development. Lenore spots Ray and Jessica together, and learns of their relationship. She and Ray both pretend not to know one another. Now that the secret’s out, how will Lenore use this information against Ray and Tanya?