Weekend Movies: A Variety of Mindless Flicks

All of the movies taking the big screen this weekend are on the border of mediocrity. None of them is fatally terrible nor particularly great, but every audience has something to mild to see.

The widest opener this weekend is ‘Journey 2: The Mysterious Island‘. With only one mostly-unknown returning cast member from the first movie, there seems to be some confusion as to what ‘Journey 2’ is a sequel to. Yes, it’s a sequel to Brendan Frasier’s ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’. This time around, Frasier has been replaced by The Rock (aka Dwayne Johnson). As you might expect, The Rock and Josh Hutcherson head off on a journey to a mysterious island.

The second widest opener is the R-rated Denzel Washington/Ryan Reynolds spy thriller ‘Safe House‘. Reynolds is a CIA agent commissioned with keeping captured rogue agent Washington safe, but when a mole leaks their location, they must work together to stay alive. ‘Safe House’ is an above-par mindless action movie for adults.

Next is the romantic melodrama ‘The Vow‘. Starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, it’s nothing more than a wannabe Nicholas Sparks movie. They play a married couple who foolishly park their car in the middle of a snowy street to get it on when a truck slams into their car and throws McAdams through the windshield. You’d think the movie would be all about Tatum making his amnesiac wife fall in love with him again, but it’s really a drama about her sick family.

Finally, hitting more than 2,600 screens is the 3D re-release of ‘Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace‘. Apparently, George Lucas hasn’t finished draining your wallet yet. You may have spent 80 bucks on the six-movie Blu-ray set last year, but he expects you to pay again just to see them all in 3D on the big screen. You can expect him to re-release the whole set on Blu-ray again in 3D. Please folks, stop feeding the monster.


  1. Saw the 3D release of Episode 1 at midnight. Had fun with my Star Wars friends. Enjoyed the movie, despite the wooden acting and silly Midichlorian nonsense. Thought the 3D conversion was pretty darn good. Was a bit expensive for the superextremeultra3dxdcinemarkbs theater, but I still had fun.

  2. JM

    Did George Lucas convert to 3D simply to move ‘Star Wars 1’ higher up the worldwide box office chart?

    It’s #18 now, but the new money could push it to #4.

    Was it to boost toy sales from $3 billion per year to $5 billion?

    George Lucas told The Hollywood Reporter that he isn’t a very good director, and the Star Wars movies aren’t anything special, but he doesn’t seen to have any depth of love for 3D.

    It’s just a money fad, to play the Hollywood game.

    Michael Bay had his turn, now George rolls the twenty-sided die.

    If The Phantom Whatever makes the predicted $25M this weekend, is this the same 1.7 million dorks paying their annual membership dues?

    Is this the Nintendo nostalgia thing? Little fat plumber fetish?

    As a kid, I played in the dirt with a stick. Culture and technology were forbidden. Maybe I have nostalgia for dirt. I love to grow vegetables.

    I guess what I’m wondering is, if George Lucas doesn’t care, why do the fans?

    He disdains them.

    Stephanie Meyer at least is on her fan base’s same wavelength.

    Is this stockholm syndrome?

  3. I couldn’t give a rat’s rear end about Phantom Menace in 3D, but if there are associated showings in good old 2D, I may well go, just to enjoy it on the big screen again. 🙂

  4. EM

    In trailers, 3D Phantom Menace looks delish (not that I would subject myself again), whereas converted Titanic looks like crap.

    Tridimensionalization aside, are there any new changes (i.e., post-BD) to The Phantom Menace?

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