TV Madness: Mackey vs. Zorro – Stark vs. Cameron

We’ve had quite a lot of close races in the TV Madness tournament, including last Wednesday’s match-ups. While Omar Little easily bested Michael Knight, Angel and Sarah Walker ran a neck-and-neck race, which at the time of writing this is too close to call. We’ll see how it shakes out by the time Monday afternoon rolls around.

Today, corrupt cop Vic Mackey goes up against a legendary icon of the big and small screen, Zorro. There have been many incarnations of Zorro over the years, especially on television. A few of them were animated series, which we’re not dealing with in this tournament, and a few more were simply made-for-TV movies. I know that we had a playoff to determine which Clark Kent would enter the tournament, but I simply assumed that most everyone thinks about Disney’s ‘Zorro’, starring Guy Williams as the masked vigilante, whenever they think about ‘Zorro’ on television. Therefore, Guy Williams is the Zorro in this tournament.

Vic Mackey – Mackey made antiheroes cool again. When ‘The Shield’ debuted in 2002, viewers were ready to root for heroes who were less than reputable. We’d been doing it for three years already with Tony Soprano, and then along came Vic Mackey, a corrupt detective working in the most corrupt precinct in Los Angeles. He bribed, cajoled, beat, tortured, kidnapped and killed to get his way. He wasn’t all bad, though. He was a devoted family man, which helped ground his character. We needed an excuse to root for his awfulness, and the fact that he cared so dearly for his family was it.

 

Strengths: Mackey’s sheer intimidation factor goes a long way. His sneering bald dome isn’t something you want to see kicking in your front door. Mackey is also a great planner, who continuously sets up elaborate (often illegal) scams, cons and thefts in order supplement his meager police wage.

Weaknesses: Mackey, like so many other antiheroes, is an egomaniac. He’s prideful, arrogant and constantly thinks he’s right even when he isn’t. His pride caused a lot of problems during the seven-season run of ‘The Shield’. Also, if anything were to happen to his family, he’d be heartbroken. But I don’t think Disney’s Zorro has the balls to go after someone’s family.

Zorro – Whenever I think of Zorro, I always picture Guy Williams dispatching his enemies and their henchmen with his swashbuckling skills.

 

 

 

 

Strengths: He’s clever and can think up elaborate plans to help people who need his vigilante skills. He’s also a dynamite fencer.

Weaknesses: Mackey has a gigantic gun. Zorro has a cape, a tiny sword and a mask. He seems overmatched here.

Vic Mackey vs. Zorro

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‘Game of Thrones’ is still at the height of its popularity, which will certainly work in Ned Stark’s favor. However, he has his work cut out for him against a cyborg assassin from the future. Will the popularity of ‘Thrones’ and Stark’s love of broadswords be enough to overcome the onslaught of a sexy assassin from the future?

Eddard Stark – I wouldn’t be surprised if Sean Bean’s résumé listed “I come with my own broadsword” under skills. But will that be enough against Cameron?

 

 

 

 

Strengths: Dammit! He’s Sean Bean with a sword, what else do you need?

Weaknesses: His medieval brain may not be able to comprehend the death machine he faces here. He may be outmatched and outgunned, simply because he was born a few millennia before Cameron was even constructed.

Cameron – It’s sad that ‘The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ didn’t last very long, but it did have its fans, largely due to the presence of Summer Glau as a cyborg assassin sent from the future. Glau kicked a lot of ass during the two seasons ‘Sarah Connor’ was on.

 

 

Strengths: She’s a cyborg with unlimited fighting knowledge and she’s virtually indestructible.

Weaknesses: We’ve seen from past ‘Terminator’ movies that there are ways to kill these cyborgs. So, I guess if Stark can get his hands on a giant vat of molten steel, then that could work. Or maybe one of those big boiling pots of oil that medieval castles used to dump on enemies at their gates.

Eddard Stark vs. Cameron

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8 comments

  1. If the first season of Game of Thrones taught us anything, it’s that Ned Stark is ultimately ineffectual at pretty much everything he does. The unstoppable Terminator from the future takes this one.

    Vic Mackey trounces Zorro easily.

  2. Alex

    Personally, I’m hoping we eventually get to see a Vic Mackey/Jack Bauer match-up. That would be a fight for the ages.

  3. JM

    Today I vote for the ladies.

    Even though I like Summer Glau the badassest in ‘Dollhouse.’

    Genius always beats meat.

  4. I voted Zorro… um… Yeah, I know he wouldn’t really win, but I wasn’t a fan of The Shield, and I know Zorro wouldn’t actually stand a chance of winning in the poll, so there was no harm in voting for him… 😉

    I voted Cameron in the 2nd match-up. You’ve got a hard-as-nails Terminator, vs a guy who, much as I like him, couldn’t even survive his own first series… So Cameron takes this one without breaking a sweat.

  5. Unless this is the Banderas Zorro (who had a rather high killcount last i checked unlike Mackey’s 7 murders), Mackey can be whipped, shanked and bled all day but all he needs if not a gun, is a chair to throw and his clobbering fists. Besides, Mackey was The Thing in another lifetime …

    As for Cameron and Stark, I love Game of Thrones but as we all know, Stark DIES with a capital “D.” If this was Bean’s other deadly characters like Boromir, 006 or Richard Sharpe, he would at least be deadly before dying (although Sharpe lives to see the next day fortunately).

    Swords and guns just don’t mix as any ancient saying does though.

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