TV Madness: Kirk vs. Sylar – Blane vs. Spencer

Perhaps riding a wave of good will since ‘The Avengers’ hit theaters, David “Bruce” Banner/The Hulk easily took out the chiseled, muscular Hercules in our last round of TV Madness. In the other match, sheer brawn and determination won out over firepower as Spartacus decapitated Sonny Crockett before he could get to his gun.

Also, I wanted to update you on the extremely close race between Angel and Fox Mulder. Checking back on the post, it looks like Mulder actually pulled out a narrow victory by only two votes. I think I consider that the biggest upset of the tournament. At least, I was surprised by the outcome.

Now here’s a tricky match-up. Taking into consideration the immortality of Kirk as a character, doesn’t he still seem a little overmatched by Sylar? Sylar has so many superhuman abilities that I think even the writers of ‘Heroes’ stopped counting – or even keeping track for that matter – because Sylar’s different abilities only seemed to kick in when the plot called for it. That said, Kirk has his hands full here.

Captain James T. Kirk – Other than Jack Bauer and maybe Buffy, few names in this tournament hold the admiration and respect of millions of die-hard fans like Kirk does. Kirk has become an idol, a complete icon of his time in television. His presence is immortal, even though the original ‘Star Trek’ only ran for three seasons. He’s one of the most unforgettable TV characters ever, and that will definitely work in his favor here.



Tools of the Trade: His popularity should help him in the vote camp, but he’s no stranger to fighting for his life. Just ask any Gorn what they think of Kirk. They just might start weeping and running away at the mere mention of his name.

Sylar – Conversely, ‘Heroes’ garnered a lot of ill will during its final season or two. It was a show that completely lost its train of thought, and become more enjoyable to mock than to watch seriously. Even though Sylar is indeed a powerful person, the ho-hum attitude towards ‘Heroes’ in its last days may prove to be a downfall for him.



Tools of the Trade: Sylar is in possession of all kinds of superhuman abilities, like super hearing, which was only ever used once (maybe twice) in the show. The rest of the time, the writers conveniently forgot about it.

Captain Kirk vs. Sylar

  • Sylar (51%, 38 Votes)
  • Captain Kirk (49%, 36 Votes)

Total Voters: 74

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My personal favorite character in this tournament is Hurricane Spencer, simply because he’s provided me an excuse to look up ‘Thunder in Paradise’ clips on YouTube. Reliving Hulk Hogan’s short-lived TV show isn’t the best way to spend one’s time, but it certainly is the most hilarious. Hogan is so goofy and so idiotic in the show that it’s easy to see why it got canceled almost as soon as it came on. In all fairness, Spencer is going to meet his maker in this round, but the ride sure has been a thunderous one.

Hurricane Spencer – He’s Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan on TV hulking out. Seriously, if you haven’t looked up clips of ‘Thunder in Paradise’ on YouTube yet, you’re missing out. This is one of the lost small screen gems of the last 30 years. Okay, I may be exaggerating slightly (a lot), but you won’t have a better laugh today. I can guarantee you that.



Tools of the Trade: Did I mention that he’s Hulk Hogan? If Jonas Blane is susceptible to slow-moving, wrestling-inspired fight choreography, then he’s in for a world of hulk-tastic hurt.

Jonas Blane – No one can live up to the initials “JB” like Jack Bauer, but Jonas Blane has come close. In another life, he was the president on ’24’ and learned a lot of badass killing from one of the most prolific dealers of death that television has ever seen. Since then, Blane has found himself chalking up his own kill count at a dizzying pace. Spencer may simply turn into another tally mark.



Tools of the Trade: Blane is well-versed in all sorts of weaponry and doesn’t take a full five seconds to throw a punch or raise his leg to kick down his opponent. Seriously, wrestling fight choreography is a snooze-fest.

Hurricane Spencer vs. Jonas Blane

  • Jonas Blane (72%, 47 Votes)
  • Hurricane Spencer (28%, 18 Votes)

Total Voters: 65

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  1. William Henley

    I would be rooting for Kirk, but deep down, I would know that he doesn’t have a chance against Syler. I mean, this is as unevenly matched as Picard versus Q – Q may string Picard along for a while, but Picard could never destroy Q. I think the same is true in the Syler versus Kirk battle. Kirk only stands a chance because Syler wants to play.

    • EM

      Kirk’s defeated Gorn and gods (yes, plural). Sylar’s powers may be a matter of plot convenience, but Kirk is a master of plot convenience.

      • William Henley

        This is true. But, from the ones I remember, this is usually due to a god loosing their temper and pretty much destroying themselves (or each other). In Final Fronteir, he also had the help of a Bird of Prey gunned by Spock (if memory serves correctly).

        So while Kirk may have defeated gods and God, they were pretty much stupid gods. I think Sylar would be a bit more of a challenge.

  2. CamSully

    I’m a Kirk fan (hell, he’s even on my profile pic!) but regardless of Heroes’ quality, there’s no way he’s defeating Sylar.

    BTW, the Heroes wiki lists 200,050 deaths for Sylar while Shatner’s Kirk has at least 12 kills to his name (movies included)

  3. Sorry, Hulkamaniacs, but Jonas Blane easily takes Hurrican Spencer out with a double-tap to the chest.

    Sylar’s a punk. Kik has outsmarted foes way more formidable than him.

    • William Henley

      This is true as well. The thing is, Sylar is both smart AND powerful. Kirk has fought smart foes, he has fought powerful foes, but they usually have one glaring flaw (ie most of the powerful foes are not the brightest things in the world). I really think that Sylar may be a bigger fight than anything Kirk has yet to fight.

      • Eh. Sylar has mommy issues (or was it daddy issues? The show’s writing was so inconsistent that it could change from week to week) that Kirk could easily exploit. Also, while Sylar may have lots of powers, he seems to forget which ones he has and rarely uses most of them.

        • William Henley

          Eh, I lost intrest mid-second season. So not really sure what happened to him. Sad, the show started off really good, but the second season was BLEH!