The Alien fought the Predator. Freddy battled it out with Jason. The Puppet Master even had a skirmish with the Demonic Toys. Popular movies cross over with other popular movies all the time, and TV shows often do the same. (Thomas Magnum teamed up with the Simon brothers on several occasions!) This week’s Roundtable takes a fanciful turn, as we tell you about the crazy movie and TV crossovers that we’d like to see, if only someone could make them happen.
Our friend Adam supplied the awesome banner image above this post, so we’ll let him start things off.
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk)
Look, everyone adores ‘Citizen Kane‘, but… well, its title character is dead and buried, and the movie already hit all the high (and low) points in Charles Foster Kane’s life. How do you turn that into a franchise? What other stories are left to tell? I’m thinking there’s a pretty big one that Orson Welles overlooked.
Think about it! ‘Citizen Chucky’. In a ploy to win Susan’s affections, Kane gives her a Good Guy doll, blissfully unaware that it’s possessed by the soul of a serial killer. Chucky has set his beady little eyes on the Kane fortune, and he’s not going to stop hacking and slashing until all of Xanadu’s riches are in his little plastic hands. I’m still working out the rest of the beats, but clearly the climax is going to involve Chucky’s twisted soul leaping from one inanimate object to another, culminating in a battle to the death between Kane and his childhood sleigh. When Kane mutters “Rosebud…!” with his dying breath, it’ll be because the sleigh hacked him to ribbons, not out of some wistful memory.
As I sort of half-watched the latest trailer for ‘The Avengers’ this weekend (am I the only one who’s already tired of watching Sam Jackson sleepwalk through his role as Nick Fury?), I noticed what looked like a Stark Enterprises skyscraper in the background of one scene, and wondered what it would be like to see the owner of Wayne Enterprises interact with Iron Man himself, Tony Stark. For all I know, this has already happened in the comics, where DC and Marvel have had endless crossover events over the years (all of which felt like they’d been written by copyright attorneys). But the prospect of an Batman/Iron Man movie, or hell, even a Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne billionaire bad boys Reality show, sounds endlessly entertaining.
I was just talking about this with my father about two weeks ago when I heard that white collar criminal Ethan Zobelle (Adam Arkin, ‘Sons of Anarchy’) was making his way to Harlan County on ‘Justified‘. At the time, it wasn’t clear if the actual character was going to appear or if it was just Arkin. (It turns out that the part is in fact a new character.) Anyway, I thought that would be pretty awesome if it was a sort of crossover. It got us thinking, and we both thought it would be cool if Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) crossed paths with Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall). Maybe Raylan heads back to Miami and somehow ends up on Dexter’s trail. Or Dexter could even just be filling up his tank at a gas station where we get a sort of cameo by the man in the hat, who notices something off about Dexter, but gets distracted and doesn’t have time to really follow up on anything. There really should be more little nods like this in TV Land.
I love J.J. Abrams so much that I want to see everything he does melded into one major motion picture. I want to see the ‘Super 8‘ alien get caught by a group of Klingons on his way home. Knowing that her son went to Earth to pick up a carton of milk, his worried mom comes here to look for him and becomes known as the ‘Cloverfield‘ monster. Hurley from ‘Lost‘ re-opens Dharma to save the world from the destructive beast and recruits Ethan Hunt to lead the alien attack force. Felicity shows up to help, but the act of cutting her hair has the same effects as Red Matter and the Starship Enterprise is sucked into an alternate universe. The Hurley/Hunt duo needs Kirk’s help, so they employ the crazy old guy from ‘Fringe‘ because he’s the only one who knows how to pass through realities and bring the Enterprise back. All Red Shirts will be played by cast members of Abrams’ canceled shows, and the twist ending will be that the monster was really Jennifer Garner in disguise. Then Bruce Willis will parachute out of nowhere and say, “You thought I blew up with the asteroid, but I didn’t!” A crane shot reveals Willis chasing Ben Affleck around with a shotgun as the credits begin to roll. Fade to black.
Bring it on. Tie it all together. I’m in.
I bet most people would expect me to combine any ‘tweener group with a ‘Hostel’ or a ‘Battle Royale’ film, or a ‘Twilight’ meets vampire killer (like, say, ‘Blade’) mix. But that’s too predictable.
I think it would be interesting if there were a film that was a mix between ‘Heat‘ and ‘The Town‘. You have your old robbers, their internal drama and personal lives, and then you have the new breed who don’t really have lives because they’ve given up on life outside of crime. There are plenty of screenplay possibilities here .With masks being worn, one group could make it look like the other group performed a robbery, and put heat on the other robbers in town. Heck, what if the two rival groups planned to rob the same bank at once? While I’m not really fond of the thought of seeing Robert De Niro or Al Pacino now that they’ve both turned to the dark side and make yacht movie after yacht movie (let alone the thought of Val Kilmer greasing the door to even get through it), I don’t know if I’d take any other group, as I like the thought of old versus young, doing the same jobs. With no technological advantage, it’d be a really neat clash.
M. Enois Duarte
I think Lisbeth Salander of the ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo‘ going up against the raver kids of ‘Hackers’ would be pretty awesome. Fisher Stevens as “The Plague” put up a great match, no doubt about that. Heck, he could only be taken down when cyber-geeks around the world united. But somehow I imagine that Crash Override would have a really hard time beating Wasp. Lord Nikon and Phantom Phreak will play bigger roles as the two from the inner circle slowly change loyalties to the badass goth punker. The gang joins forces to solve the mysterious death of Cereal Killer (sorry, no Matthew Lillards in my movies!), and the plot thickens as Override sees his world crashing around him when everyone discovers a secret romance between Wasp and Acid Burn. (Yeah, baby!) It turns out the big conspiracy is the RIAA making final preparations for ISPs to start policing their customers in Summer 2012. (If you don’t know, look it up, because it’s happening.)
The ‘Transformers‘ have crossed over with ‘G.I. Joe‘ several times in comic book form, but somehow this natural pairing has never made the transition into any of the two franchises’ respective cartoons or movies. I’d like to see it happen in live action form, if only for the satisfaction of watching Megatron squash Channing Tatum beneath his metallic heel. (Bonus points if squishy gore gets stuck to the bottom of his foot.) Of course, in my fantasy, the Transformers are new CGI recreations of the 1980s animated characters, none of that unrecognizable Bayformers nonsense. Yet the G.I. Joe team would draw from the existing live action movie(s), mainly for the immeasurable pleasure that the aforementioned Tatum squashing would bring me. It’s complicated.
Sadly, these epic crossover events only exist in our imaginations for now. If you happen to be friendly with the producers of any of these properties, fell free to pass our suggestions along. In the meantime, tell us in the Comments about the wackiest crossovers you’d like to see.