‘Project Runway’ 9.09 Recap: “You Were Running Out of Time”

Another damn team challenge? That’s what everyone was thinking once it was announced in last week’s episode of ‘Project Runway’, and all they wanted was to not be on Bert’s team. No one likes Bert. Bert is old, ornery, and did I mention old?

Let’s get this right out there: I really don’t understand why there had to actually be teams during this challenge. It’s not like the designers did many team-like things.

The challenge was to create a look for a band called The Sheep Dogs. They were tasked to create a new image for the band – an image that didn’t necessarily have to be cohesive. So, again, I ask why the teams? There are four members in the band, and with four to a group, each person picked a band member to design for. All the teams did was sort out who was designing for whom. Tim would’ve done better by everyone by just picking two names per band member out of his little bag. The teams were absolutely worthless this time around. The only purpose they served was for those “Oh shit!” faces that were pulled by Laura and Anthony Ryan when they found out that they were going to be on Bert’s team.

On to the designing – Well, there wasn’t much designing going on. Most of the designers were lost in the fact that they didn’t know how to do menswear. Oliver was the only one who’d had any real experience in menswear, and he couldn’t stop talking about how “big” and “huge” the lead singer was, and how hard it was to dress such a gargantuan man.

What transpired was one of the messier runways of the season. Instead of the normal model walk, the guys came out and played two songs, dressed in the separate looks. Apparently, everyone had the same idea and tried to make The Sheep Dogs look like they came straight out of the ’60s. In a bad way. Tie-dye shirts, flared jeans, hippie headbands. None of the designers had anything different in mind. They all thought they’d make the band look old and outdated. Keep in mind that this is a band that by all accounts – and pictures of them on the web – wears nothing but T-shirts and jeans.

‘American Idol’ star Adam Lambert (who?) starred as the guest judge, and seemingly brought vats of guyliner that he was hiding offstage somewhere. I’m sure of it. His eyes looked like he went to a make-up artist and said, “Give me the Jack Sparrow.”

It all came down to Oliver being unable to manage his time. He put out an awful-fitting outfit that made the lead singer look like he was getting an atomic wedgie from an invisible bully. Kimberly created a shirt that looked less like fashion, and more like someone working the window at a nondescript fast food restaurant. Anya, who generally pulls amazing garments out of thin air, wound up creating an ugly unfinished top which the judges hated.

Oliver just couldn’t stick it out, though. His unwillingness to work with clients, coupled with his crippling inability to change even the smallest thing about himself, proved to be his downfall. On the other end of the spectrum, Viktor created a really cool-looking leather jacket which ended up winning.

My final three for the Fashion Week runway show are Anya, Anthony Ryan and Viktor. Joshua M. and Laura have an outside chance to get into those three positions. Even though Joshua M. has won two challenges, I think his bedazzling will catch up to him in the next few challenges and he’ll be sent packing.

What do you think? Who do you think will be in the final three?

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