Movie Madness: Martin vs. Krueger – Hook vs. Lecter

Friday’s Movie Madness contests were no contest at all. Batman bested Buzz Lightyear easily to move onto the next round in a highly anticipated matchup with The Joker. Jason Bourne versus Ellen Ripley was a bit closer, but Bourne held onto a strong lead throughout the voting. It turns out that Ripley’s flamethrower was no match for Bourne’s kick-ass amnesia. To start off this week, let’s take a look at Frank Martin versus Freddy Krueger and Captain Hook versus Hannibal Lecter.

These two contestants are adept at traveling their own specialized ways. Martin uses fast cars and expert wheelman capabilities to drive himself out of any dangerous situation. Krueger uses people’s dreams. This one’s going to be interesting.

Frank Martin – He’s lived through three ‘Transporter’ movies by kicking butt and taking names. I’m not quite sure, but I’m almost 100% positive Frank Martin doesn’t need sleep. He’s driving most of the time, and not once has he shown himself to be a drowsy driver. Freddy may never be able to get to him.

Strengths: Not only is he an expert behind the wheel, the man is also a martial arts genius (go ahead, watch that oil fight again from the first movie) and an expert with any weapon he picks up.

Weaknesses: He’s always letting people into his life that he cares about, only to see them being put in danger. Freddy would totally use that to his advantage.

Freddy Krueger – Freddy stalks his victims in their dreams, but his killing is all too real. Even though he’s been defeated (and killed off) numerous times, he always finds a way to come back. Like Barbossa earlier on in the tournament, Krueger’s inability to actually die may be enough to carry him onto the next round. Or will he, like Barbossa, find his opponent too hard of a match anyway?

Strengths: He can kill you while you sleep without even being physically there. Oh, and he’s got that really nasty glove that looks like it could cause some damage if he even decided to do something nice like pat you on the back.

Weaknesses: Freddy has actually got a lot of weaknesses. In the first movie, Nancy finally defeated him by simply not being afraid of him anymore. He’s even been done in by a pipe bomb, and Jason Voorhees.

Frank Martin vs. Freddy Krueger

  • Freddy Krueger (61%, 81 Votes)
  • Frank Martin (39%, 52 Votes)

Total Voters: 133

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A comedic villain goes up against one of the most feared serial killers of all time. What’s going to happen? Will Hook be able to skewer Lecter before Lecter finds a way to skin his face and eat his liver with same fava beans and chianti?

Captain Hook – Locked into an eternal battle with Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, Hook spends his time trying to best the adolescents who always seem to get the better of him.

Strengths: He’s got a hook for a hand and a sweet moustache. Those have got to count for something.

Weaknesses: Let’s face it; he’s always losing to a teenage boy who wears tights.

Hannibal Lecter – Even behind a plexiglass wall, Mr. Lecter is one of the scariest villains to ever appear on screen. The dude is freaky, and the fact that he likes to eat people makes him all the more freakier. Way more scary than the Boo Box.

Strengths: He’s conniving, cunning, and he’ll get into your head. Also, the guy works fast. I have no idea to this day how he was able to skin that guard’s face and hang him up in such an ornamental fashion in what seems an inordinately short amount of time.

Weaknesses: He’s only human. A human that eats humans, but he could be killed.

Captain Hook vs. Hannibal Lecter

  • Hannibal Lecter (91%, 124 Votes)
  • Captain Hook (9%, 12 Votes)

Total Voters: 136

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  1. RBBrittain

    Hook vs. Lecter: No wonder it’s no contest. The way you described Hook, he might even bring the fava beans & Chianti if it got him out of chasing Peter Pan for all eternity. Besides, how could anyone throw Hannibal the Cannibal out in the first round?

    Martin vs. Krueger: I had to be reminded who Martin was, but this one’s closer. Yes, Krueger is scarier and has more fanboys; but if Martin doesn’t sleep, that ruins Krueger’s modus operandi. I’m voting for Martin, but it could honestly go either way.

    • Alex

      Conversely, if Martin doesn’t sleep, he can’t pull Freddy into the real world to destroy him. Assuming that to even face Freddy, Martin would have to go sleep, Freddy has a perpetual home-court advantage. I think a well placed swipe and Freddy would be playing Martin by his entrails like a marionette.

      Oh, and Hannibal Lecter eats punks like Hook for breakfast.

      • Agreed – Hook is like the worst villian (that is, he is no good at it) that was ever written. Forget how he was described and look at it objectively for a moment. I mean, if Hook had of at least learned how to use pixie dust, he might have a fighting chance, but he is afraid of crocodiles, afraid of clocks, and can’t win to a 12 year old boy. All Hannibal would have to do is play some clock sounds, occasionally throw an appendage from a dead croc at him, and when Hook is suffeciently insane, swoop in for the kill. No conest.

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