In Friday’s Movie Madness, ‘Star Wars’ fans turned out en masse to propel both Han Solo and Darth Vader into what we’re calling the Cinematic Sixteen. They ended up crushing their respective opponents, Harry Potter and Scott Pilgrim. Today’s matchups promise to be some stiff competition. First up, we have amnesiac spy Jason Bourne going up against government revolutionary V. In the other battle to the death, Wolverine faces off against the one and only Indiana Jones. Here we go! Round two! Fight!
Jason Bourne versus V poses an interesting battle. V is a comic book hero who hasn’t actually been endowed with any special powers. Instead, he rocks a neat-o mask to hide his hideous disfigurement while he plots revenge against his oppressive government. Bourne also has a bone to pick with big government. He’s going after the people who created him in the first place. Both of them have above average fighting skills. Okay, maybe that’s an understatement. They can both kick a whole lot of butt without much thought at all. It just comes naturally. They’re born butt kickers.
Jason Bourne – Bourne overcame a huge hurdle in the first round by knocking out alien destroyer Ellen Ripley. After pulling off that feat, it seems like the forgetful assassin might be able to handle just about anyone this tournament throws at him.
Tools of the Trade: Bourne has it all. Weapons? Check. Cunning intellect under pressure? Check. Hand-to-hand combat skills? The best. He’s driven, determined, and above all he seems to be able to use his ingrained spy skills to get himself out of any situation that arises.
V – V got past Doc Holliday in the first round in the ultimate moustache battle. Like Bourne, V has honed his hand-to-hand combat skills and is even able to take on a group of armed men using only blades to dispense death and destruction. Also like Bourne, V is able to plan out his every move with deadly efficiency. This seems like a pretty even battle to me.
Tools of the Trade: V’s overwhelming hatred for an oppressive government drives him, but it’s his honest to goodness fighting ability that allows him to carry out his plans. The guy can put down three or four guys at once just as fast as Bourne can. V’s also a master of the blade. Ever though his opponents may be armed with guns, V can usually take them out before they’re able to reload.
V vs. Jason Bourne
- Jason Bourne (68%, 149 Votes)
- V (32%, 71 Votes)
Total Voters: 220
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A near indestructible mutant goes up against one of the greatest heroes of all time. This is going to be a really tough one. Jones has cinematic clout. He’s been around forever. Wolverine has the benefit of super-duper powers. Who’s going to pull it out in the end? I don’t even want to try to guess.
Wolverine – The first round was relatively easy for Wolverine. He took out villainous Nazi Amon Goeth quickly. I’m thinking that this round won’t be so easy for the adamantium-infused X-Men member.
Tools of the Trade: Not only does Wolverine have giant retractable claws of death, he’s also go the power to heal himself from just about anything. Oh, and he’d be able to smell Indy coming from a mile away.
Indiana Jones – When I first created this tournament, I was hesitant about putting Indy in it for the sole fact that he’s so loved. I thought that may give him an unfair advantage. I had to include him because I feared the wrath of Bonus View readers when they realized that one of their favorite heroes hadn’t made the cut.
Tools of the Trade: Mr. Jones uses his whip and his wits to get through just about every obstacle he’s faced with. He’s a great hero because he doesn’t seem, on the outside, like he’d be such a resourceful badass. Every time he escapes another near death experience, it always seems like he does it by the skin of his teeth. He isn’t a superhero, and maybe that’s why we like him so much. He’s just a regular guy – one who knows how to use a whip, and enjoys defeating the Nazis. What’s not to love?
Wolverine vs. Indiana Jones
- Indiana Jones (57%, 136 Votes)
- Wolverine (43%, 101 Votes)
Total Voters: 237
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Shannon Nutt
I’m taking Indy over Wolfie because of his wits…Jones has been up against enemies bigger and badder than him, and he always uses his smarts (or sometimes just pure luck) to figure a way out. He’d probably use Wolverine’s magnetism against him and win the day.
HuskerGuy
Went with V on the first matchup. This is the most even battle I’ve seen so far, but I’m giving V the edge as he seems a little more crazy than Bourne, giving him that unpredictability which helps him get the best of Bourne.
Wolverine wins the second matchup. I just don’t see how Indy gets past the claws and healing powers.
Ryan Megan
I’m sorry but in which Indy film did Indy fight an opponent even close to the power of Wolverine?
I love Indy, his films are superior but come on.. he’s just a man. He’s witty bu t never THAT witty. He can escape after being caught by nazis but escape wolverine? Sorry Dr. Jones.
Shannon Nutt
Wait a minute…can Wolverine survive a nuclear blast? 🙂
Eric Hulen
Yep. In the comics he was in Hiroshima when the atomic bomb was dropped and survived.
Dick Ward
And he didn’t even need a fridge to do it.
EM
Bourne, because beating Ripley is even more impressive than beating a sick, drunken Doc Holliday.
Wolverine, alas, for reasons others have stated above.
Dick Ward
Wolvie and Bourne, for what should be totally obvious reasons 🙂
Pedram
You’d think they’d be obvious, but I guess not. It seems people are going more with their love of Indy’s character than his probability of winning a fight against Wolverine.
RBBrittain
Bourne because of the guns. (I also suspect they’d make a pact: V will sacrifice himself by blowing up Parliament; Bourne will finish off what’s left of the government. Both very much in character.)
Wolvie, for obvious reasons–nothing Indy has can trump adamantium.
Shayne Blakeley
Indiana Jones is winning?! I love him too, but that is absolutely ridiculous.
Dick Ward
Agreed. There’s no way Indy should make it past this round.
Shannon Nutt
Good…Jones is making a comeback. Just like in the movies…he gets the snot kicked out of him, then he gets mad and kicks ass. 🙂
Shayne Blakeley
Quite unlike what Wolverine does… *cough*
Shannon Nutt
Well, if this was a singing/dancing competition, Wolverine would win hands-down. 😉
Nate Boss
i would like to see Indy sing and dance, though. just so i could slap him and say no.
i don’t get how jones is beating logan. it’s people voting for their favorite, not who would win. indiana jones will die one day. logan, probably not. indiana jones can use a gun, a whip, and that’s it. he’d have to hope a knight templar gives logan a drink mid fight, that’s his only way to victory. dude can’t survive a claw strike.
Ryan Megan
the only possible way Indy could beat Wolverine, would be if Indy raped Wolverine’s childhood with a large crystal skull.
Alex
Oh, please! Origins did far worse things to my X-Men-watching childhood than Crystal Skull ever did. Crystal Skull may have been a disappointment, but it was a better movie than Origins could have ever hoped, dreamed, or prayed to be.
Alex
I’m really surprised that Bourne is so thoroughly thumping V. I personally voted for V, because of his seemingly super-human speed. Don’t get me wrong, Bourne is an amazing hand-to-hand fighter and a crackshot with a rifle, but V seems to be anywhere and everywhere all at once. He has things planned decades in advance, and turned an entire society against its tyrannical leaders. Bourne’s good, but behind V’s mask is an idea and ideas are bulletproof.
Ryan Megan
crystal skull was far, far, far worse than Wolverine Origins.
Far worse. and Origins was horrible.
Considering how far the fall was between Crusade and Skull, VS. X3 and Origins, it’s even worse.
I am still in shock from Crystal Skull. Did that movie really happen?
None of this of course changes the fact that there is no way in hell Indy could beat Wolverine in battle. No..fracking way.
EM
Well…maybe if Indy timed it just right so that a boulder from an archeological deathtrap rolled on top of Logan and pinned him…or Indy got Wolvie to keep his eyes open while the Ark of the Covenant was opened…maybe…
Shannon Nutt
I’m starting to get a feeling that these polls are only open until the moderator’s favorite takes the lead. I certainly felt that way in the Lecter versus Hook match, and now I feel it with Indy versus. Indy won. It’s over. Stop e-mailing pals to come vote for Wolverine. 😉
Shannon Nutt
I stand corrected…I guess Lecter DID win the Hook match…although there was an incorrect bracket posted here that showed Hook as the winner…that’s where the confusion came from – my apologies.
Aaron Peck
AuthorYes. I fixed that bracket. It was brought to my attention. Just a mistake on my part.
As for the poll ending, they should end the day the next Movie Madness posts. I’m not rigging it. There’s no reason for me to rig it. The expiration for this poll is tomorrow around 10 am (not sure which time zone). So, there’s still time to vote. It should still be open.
Shannon Nutt
Aaron…I know you’re not – I was just poking fun at you a little.
Aaron Peck
AuthorI just didn’t want anyone to find out about my secret online betting ring I’ve got going on that’s related to this tournament. Everyone would know I’ve been fixing the outcomes and making a killing 😉
Thulsadoom
I voted Bourne in the first. He’s a resourceful trained killer, capable of utilising almost any weapon to its full potential. V is a pontificating knife fighter in a restrictive mask.
And Indy in the second! 😉 On paper he shouldn’t stand a chance, but the same goes for all of his adventures. That’s the point. He barely survives, but somehow always does. Wolverine would beat him down repeatedly, without quite managing to kill him, then in an exhausted state, Indy would find a weakness and utilise something to hand, and at least indefinitely immobilise Wolverine, thus winning the battle. 😀 Yes, even Crystal Skulls or Temple of Doom Indy would win.
Ryan Megan
you could use that reasoning for any “hero” in any movie, that they just “barely survive but find a way” it’s the basic plot structure of almost every single action adventure film ever made. Including ones with Wolverine in it. Using the same logic, pretty much every villain in these polls should fall to almost any hero. Including the match-up of vader vs scott pilgrim.
Just be honest guys, you like Indy too much to see Hugh Jackman best him.
Thulsadoom
Yes, to some extent this is the formula for any ‘hero’ battle, but Indy is the master of it. 😉 Look at it this way… if you compare the types of battle each have been through and survived, Indy manages without special powers. Wolverine survives due to healing and adamantium. He’d be dead a hundred times over, without that. That rates Indy higher, in my book.
He’s also been up against numerous supernatural forces, and used them to defeat enemies. I don’t know of any supernatural stuff that Wolverine’s been through or used (I haven’t read the comics), and his skills are strictly limited to traditional combat. Heck, Wolverine only needs to get knocked into the molten lava pit in Temple of Doom, and he’s done. I’m sure Indy could at least manage to chuck his heavy arse down down there. 😉
MultiWizard
This is just a thought, but, didn’t Indy drink from the Holy Grail in the Knight’s chamber? Doesn’t that give him eternal life? If so, I’ll give it to Indy. He’ll find someway to do it.
Shannon Nutt
Every now and then a fan boy brings this up, but if you watch the movie, the knight clearly says that staying within the chamber is “the price of immortality”. In other words, once Indy left, drinking from the grail no longer extended his life.
Ralph
Thanks for clearing that up. I realized I was wrong right after I wrote it, because Indy’s dad drinks from it as well, and, well, look what happens to him.