Movie Madness: Batman vs. Lightyear – Bourne vs. Ripley

March may be over, but Movie Madness is still going strong. For some reason, I thought the matchups on Wednesday would be closer. However, Tony Stark easily defeated Dr. Horrible. (I think we can all agree that if it came down to a singing contest, it would’ve been no contest at all.) In the other duel, Wolverine easily skewered the young Nazi Amon Goeth and moved on to the next round. Today, we’ll take a look at Christian Bale’s Batman versus Buzz Lightyear, and Ellen Ripley versus Jason Bourne.

This matchup is pretty important, given that Batman’s opponent in the next round will be Heath Ledger’s Joker if he’s able to get past Buzz Lightyear here. I’m guessing most people want a Batman versus Joker second round matchup, so I think Lightyear doesn’t stand much of a chance.

Batman – Christian Bale beat out all the other Batmen to find himself in the tournament. He’s already battle tested, and is looking forward to meeting his arch nemesis in the second round.

Strengths: We covered his strengths in the playoff round, but I’d say the biggest thing going for him right now is who he’ll be facing in the next round.

Weaknesses: If he’s not careful, he may gruff-talk himself right out of the first round.

Buzz Lightyear – He’s the definition of “good guy.” He’ll always help out his friends when they’re in need. Sure, he’s just a toy, but in other universes (and in Buzz’s own mind), he’s a Space Ranger with a jetpack and a deadly accurate laser beam.

Strengths: Has a laser attached to his wrist and awesome karate chop action.

Weaknesses: People may think of him as just a toy, much like they did with Zurg, and throw him out based solely on that decision.

Buzz Lightyear vs. Batman

  • Batman (85%, 90 Votes)
  • Buzz Lightyear (15%, 16 Votes)

Total Voters: 106

Loading ... Loading ...

Now here’s an interesting battle. Both of these characters have lived through numerous sequels. Both of them are tough-as-nails, and have taken more beatings than we can count. One of them fights alien scum in space, while the other fights spy scum on Earth. As far as I’m concerned, this one’s a toss up.

Jason Bourne – One day he woke up and forgot who he was, but he never forgot how to kick ass. He’s spent the last three movies taking on the entire CIA and their foreign assets – taking everyone out one by one, in quickly cut action scenes and blurry car chases.

Strengths: He’s quick. I mean really quick. He’ll have you down on the table with your arm twisted behind your back ready to break it before you can yell “Uncle!”

Weaknesses: Like many great heroes, he has let love cloud his judgment from time to time.

Ellen Ripley – She has a long list of accomplishments. Not many movie characters can claim to be in the top ten on the “100 Years… 100 Heroes and Villains” list put together by AFI. She was also one of the first badass female characters who kicked some serious tail and made us think twice about women as viable action stars.

Strengths: She’s taken on giant ugly aliens from other worlds, and have you seen that flame thrower?

Weaknesses: Has a bad habit of walking down darkened corridors alone.

Jason Bourne vs. Ellen Ripley

  • Jason Bourne (55%, 59 Votes)
  • Ellen Ripley (45%, 48 Votes)

Total Voters: 107

Loading ... Loading ...


  1. Alex

    I’m actually going to throw one more into the mix, if it’s okay. I’d love to see a “Community” throwdown between Abed in his Batman getup and Troy in that homemade yellow pvc power loader. Now that would be a battle for the ages!!

    • Alex

      Looks like Buzz finally got some votes, but no one seems to want to explain why they think that a self-aware, well-marketed, two pound chuck of plastic with a flashing LED for a weapon can take down the Savior of Gotham.

  2. Batman vs. Buzz Lightyear is no contest at all. Batman will kick his ass.

    Bourne vs. Ripley is much tougher. I have to give the edge to Ripley. She survived her entire crew being picked off by an alien, she survived the infestation and nuclear obliteration of LV-426, she (mostly) survived being raped and impregnated by said alien. She even survived death itself! Ripley’s a tough cookie.

  3. WTF? Bourne is beating Ripley? Let’s see Jason Bourne take on an army of aliens. Sheesh!

    And Buzz, it’s not a laser…it’s a little lightbulb that blinks! 🙂

  4. RBBrittain

    Buzz is no match for Batman, even if it wasn’t the Joker in the next round. He’s just a toy, for crying out loud.

    Bourne vs. Ripley is tougher (and a sad matchup for round 1), but I lean towards Ripley for the reasons Josh gave–especially beating death itself. I don’t think Bourne was ever cloned…

    • Ripley had to rely on an evil military industrial institution to beat death itself.

      If it was the human/alien Ripley from Resurrection, I’d give it to Ripley just for her acid blood and genetic fortitude. Bourne has the advantage of knowing what it takes to fight and beat human beings. He may regret it afterwards and atone for it somehow, but he could definitely kill Ripley.

  5. EM

    The fact that Buzz is a toy is to his advantage. Buzz does not reveal his animacy to humans; as such, it is easy for Batman to dismiss him. But when humans turn away, that’s when Buzz stealthily springs into action. He’s far more clever and resourceful than Zurg, and he has a ton of can-do attitude. While it would not be easy going, Buzz can defeat a playboy who depends on the inventiveness of others.

    • RBBrittain

      Most of what you said is equally true of Batman: stealthiness, clever & resourceful, etc.; but not even the Buzz with utility belt at Al’s Toy Barn in TS2 has the kind of tools Batman has in his utility belt alone. And the only “Buzzmobile”–Andy’s mom’s minivan–went away at the end of TS3; the Batmobile, etc. beat that by a mile.

  6. EM

    Buzz would perceive Batman as an opponent. If Batman does not perceive Buzz as an opponent, the advantage is Buzz’s. While Bats snoozes, Buzz could use Bats’ utility belt or other gadgets against him.