Evil trees? Was this past Friday’s episode of ‘Haven’ written by M. Night Shyamalan or something? Geez!
OK, it’s not quite that bad… Not quite.
It appears that Jason Priestley will be hanging around as a regular. The show is even trying to build up a love story between him and Audrey. As we learned in the last episode, his character Chris is “Troubled” with the curse that everyone loves him. That might not sound so bad, but he’s a bit of a misanthrope and doesn’t like the attention. Since Audrey is immune, and thus the only person in town who doesn’t immediately fall in love with him, he’s drawn to her. I guess he likes the challenge. She’s not putting up too much resistance to his advances, however.
In ‘Roots’, two of the town’s richest families who have feuded for decades are coming together for the marriage of one’s son to the other’s daughter. The groom is a total douchebag who’s only marrying the girl as a ploy to get the big plot of land owned by her aunt, the family matriarch. The girl’s father hates the boy and tries to scuttle the wedding, which is set to take place on that very land in contention. Not at all coincidentally, the father is soon murdered, his body dragged out to the woods and torn to pieces with what appears to be inhuman force.
Audrey and Chris are supposed to be going on their first date. They only stop by the wedding site to drop off a marriage license. Of course, they get caught up in investigating the murder(s). When tree roots reach out from the forest and snatch the caterer, we now have a cause of death for the bride’s father.
Audrey, Chris, Duke, Evi and the entire wedding party wind up trapped in a barn as tree roots engulf the place. This turns into something of a locked-room parlor mystery, as Audrey tries to figure out which one of the wedding party is Troubled and is causing this disaster. Audrey of course immediately suspects the groom, who had the most motive to want the father dead.
Well, it turns out that the whole lot of them are Troubled. The land feeds off the two families’ hatred for each other. The angrier they get at one another, the more violently the trees close in. How can they ever escape this predicament? Naturally, Audrey deduces that, “Love is the answer.” When she manages to rekindle an old, long-soured romance between the aunt and someone in the groom’s family, the roots start to retract. Further lovey-doviness between the bride and groom (who all of a sudden are totally reconciled even though the bride was furious at the groom just minutes earlier for conning her into marrying him), between Duke and Evi, and between Audrey and Chris all allow them to slip through the roots and leave the barn.
This is not a great episode. The evil tree visual effects are pretty cheesy, and (more importantly) the writing is dicey. I just don’t buy all of the character relationships. The main plot also strangely wraps up early and leaves about ten minutes of anticlimactic dénouement. This gives us enough time to learn that Audrey puts out on the first date while Nathan sits alone in the sheriff’s office pining for her. The poor guy has apparently missed his shot.
Oh, we also find out that Evi has a secret agenda in trying to win back Duke’s affections. But honestly, who cares about this storyline? I don’t understand how crescent-faced actor Eric Balfour continues to get work. Do women honestly find him hunky or something? It boggles my mind.