‘Glee’-Cap 2.19: “Fondue for Two”

Really, ‘Glee’ writers, an entire episode devoted to Fleetwood Mac songs? You’ve really got your fingers on the pulse of what the kids today care about, don’t you? Has anyone under the age of 35 even heard of Fleetwood Mac? Does anyone under the age of 55 give a damn about them? (That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is obviously no.)

You know what, I’m not even going to talk about the music in episode ‘Rumors’, because it’s a goddamn horrorshow of songs that nobody watching ‘Glee’ ever wants to hear. I’m guessing that the intent here was to give the audience something they could watch with their grandparents. The words “Epic Fail” seem appropriate.

The better news here is that the episode features the return of Kristin Chenoweth as the boozy April Rhodes, and she’s always a lot of fun. After her attempt to launch her own Broadway show failed spectacularly, April is back in town and out of money. Will encourages her to write a show about what she really knows – her own life. While working together on her goofy musical autobiography, April asks Will to come with her back to Broadway. He really wants to (and is even supported in this by Emma – now doing better on some anti-anxiety meds), but ultimately can’t bail on the Glee Club kids.

Sue has apparently had a total psychotic break. She tries to go “incognito” around town for some reason that only she understands, and somehow thinks that dressing up as Ziggy Stardust-era David Bowie is the best way to do this. Later, she changes into an Ann Coulter costume, and I’m honestly not sure which one makes her look more like a drag queen.

Sue’s devious plan this episode is to tear the Glee Club apart by reviving the old school newspaper, ‘The Muckraker’, and spreading cruel rumors about each of the kids. The ploy actually works for a while. Artie gets really jealous about Brittany, and makes the huge mistake of calling her stupid. That pretty much signals the end of their relationship, and sends Brittany straight to Santana. She tells Santana that she will proudly be her girlfriend, but only if Santana comes on her web show, ‘Fondue for Two’, and publicly comes out of the closet. Santana says yes at first, but doesn’t show up for the taping. Brittany then has no choice but to spend the episode interviewing her cat, Lord Tubbington.

Finn also turns jealous of Quinn, whom he suspects of cheating on him with Sam. This pushes him to spend a lot of time with Rachel, who is more than eager to help him validate this suspicion. They stake out a motel where they find Quinn meeting with Sam, but also find Kurt there too, which makes things really weird. It turns out that Sam’s father lost his job and the family is destitute. They’ve been living in the motel. Quinn and Kurt were both just helping Sam out by bringing him clothes and babysitting his little sister. Finn feels so bad about this (both Sam’s situation and for distrusting Quinn) that he takes up a collection to get Sam’s guitar out of hock for him.

Well, you know how these things usually go. Everybody makes up and they all sing a big group number together: “Don’t Stop”… Ugh. Please do stop. I’d rather have another Justin Bieber episode than this again.

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