‘Under the Dome’ 3.06 Recap: “Always Cover Your Own Ass”

In the latest episode of ‘Under the Dome’, the Pod People of Chester’s Mill whistle while they work, we learn that aluminum pull-tabs can be used as deadly weapons, and Julia gets a much-deserved punch to the head. I think Hunter has the right idea when he begs for death. I don’t blame him.

The episode is called ‘Caged’, because Big Jim and Christine are locked in cages. But in a metaphorical sense, isn’t everyone in Chester’s Mill trapped in a big cage? Whoa, did that just blow your mind? If so, you’re the perfect target audience this show is written for.

We start with an exposition dump as Dr. Marston (Frank Whaley) shows Big Jim satellite footage of Christine first picking up the egg, which immediately caused the dome to form. Why would he bother telling Big Jim this? Because the audience needs to know, duh. Meanwhile, in her cage, Christine grunts a lot. Marston threatens to infect Jim with whatever’s in Christine’s blood unless Jim helps get some information out of her. Jim returns to his cage and tries to smooth-talk Christine, but she mocks him for thinking she’d be so gullible.

Eva confesses to Barbie that she and Christine worked for Aktaion, but insists that she absolutely trusts Christine. Umm, of course you would, because you’re totally evil too. Barbie, being an idiot, agrees to give Christine one more chance.

The new communal bunks in Town Hall are almost ready, and all the Pod People stand around creepily whistling as they wait for Christine to give them the OK to go in. Norrie and Joe are locked in an office. Norrie’s mom (the one who’s still alive) comes in and reveals that she’s now a Pod Person as well. She takes Norrie away to get an X-ray machine for Hunter.

Snooping around in Christine’s office, Julia finds a strange doodle and Christine’s cell phone. Unfortunately, the phone has a password lock. Julia hides when she hears Junior and Eva coming in. She then eavesdrops on them scheming and having a laugh about what a dope Barbie is.

A few minutes later, Junior punishes Joe for his disobedience by making him install solar panels by himself. When Joe tries to act defiant, Junior decks him. Julia runs out to save Joe, only to get clocked in the back of the head by Junior.

Drunk Sam sobers up a little after finding his girlfriend dead. He knows that she couldn’t have gotten the prescription pills that she killed herself with on her own, so he goes into town pretending to be back on Team Butterfly and covertly search for answers. Eva recruits him to do the X-ray on Hunter. He does, and delivers the bad news that Hunter will never walk again. After the others leave the room, Eva informs Hunter that he’s a burden on the “Kinship” and will need to be put down. Hunter, a full-on Pod Person now, agrees that’s for the best.

Julia is bound and gagged and locked in Christine’s office. She can’t yell to Barbie when she spots him through the window making out with Eva. Barbie walks away oblivious, en route to look for Christine on Bird Island. Eva saw her squirming and goes back to the office. She tells Julia that had she only joined the Kinship, they could have shared Barbie in a smokin’ threesome and everybody would be happy. She makes a hell of a point!

Over on Bird Island, Jim conspires with the Aktaion guys to stage a fake escape attempt by picking the lock to his cell with the pull-tab to a can of nuts. (Would that even work?) Christine suddenly changes her attitude and begs Jim to let her out too. She promises to get him out of the dome if he does. Somehow, this is all Marston needed to hear. He walks in and reveals the ruse. I don’t know what he really got out of this ploy, but he seems happy.

Joe and Norrie slip away together and rescue Julia. She tells the kids that Eva plans to kill Hunter and sends them to save him while she heads to Bird Island after Barbie.

Barbie and Junior find the Aktaion camp on Bird Island and launch an attack to save Christine. As the Aktaion guards run outside, Jim uses the distraction to slit Marston’s throat with the pull-tab. (Yeah, that seems really unlikely to work.) He leaves Christine behind as he escapes, but Barbie and Junior find her after they take care of the guards.

Eva very cheerfully comes to Hunter’s room to euthanize him. Norrie rushes in and fights her while Hunter insists that he wants to die. Norrie somehow gets the better of Eva and knocks her out, then she and Joe carry the uncooperative Hunter away.

Walking through the woods, Barbie makes Christine talk. She sheds some crocodile tears and blames the evil, evil Aktaion people for all the bad things that have happened in town. Barbie the dope totally buys into it. When Julia steps out of the woods with a gun, Barbie basically tells her to fuck off and die. He’s on Team Butterfly now, and she might as well stay on Bird Island all by herself if she can’t join the bandwagon.

After she returns to town, Sam thanks Christine for killing his girlfriend Abby, because it snapped him out of his drunken stupor. This fools her into confessing that she did it. Sam stabs her in the gut and walks away. (What is it with everyone in this episode leaving people to die but not sticking around to see it through?)

Junior of course finds Christine bleeding. She asks him to bring her to the caves, where she gets wrapped up in a cocoon.

Julia comes across Jim in the woods on Bird Island, and they go off together looking for his new dog. And that’s it. What a weird ending.

Thus closes another painful slog through ‘Under the Dome’. The previews after last week’s episode promised major apocalyptic action, none of which materializes here. Apparently that’s being saved for next week, maybe. At this point, I really need something exciting to happen that might keep me awake.

5 comments

  1. Emerson Lighthouse

    The best way to get through an episode of this show is to have a drink every time someone utters a cheesy line or there is an eye-rolling cliche. Great review,

  2. robert

    I’ve just started watching this series I’m on season 2 now but i think the writer made this series by lot’s of useless casts! There’s no need to be as much as casts are now! many many people with many saws before and all of them were shout till the dome comes down!
    big Jim wife, his son at 10grade, his uncle, and…. !!

  3. NJScorpio

    I am very entertained by this show.

    I first I thought they just wrote Julia’s character as very stupid. Then I noticed Barbie’s dialog came off very stupid as well…apparently it’s just bad writing. For instance, Julia let herself get grabbed when trying to save Joe from Junior, because she forgot she had a gun.

  4. NJScorpio

    “Christine suddenly changes her attitude and begs Jim to let her out too. She promises to get him out of the dome if he does. Somehow, this is all Marston needed to hear. He walks in and reveals the ruse. I don’t know what he really got out of this ploy, but he seems happy.”

    It seems like Marston wants to know her plan. She said she could get Jim out of the done, saying/implying that part of her grand plan is for the dome to come down anyway. I don’t know why this is big news, but it seemed to be what Marston needed to know.

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