The month of bad movie releases is halfway over. Two weeks down and only two more to go. After this bland weekend, we at least get promising titles such as ‘Haywire’ and ‘The Grey’ in subsequent weeks. Bite your tongue and make it through this weekend, and it’ll soon be over.
After having to eat my words about ‘The Lion King in 3D’ release last year (I predicted it would flop, but it actually added another $94 million to the film’s box office totals), I’ve learned that nothing stands in the way of Disney cleaning up at the box office by re-releasing its best animated films in 3D. ‘Beauty and the Beast 3D‘ hits the big screens this weekend with an all-new animated ‘Tangled‘ short playing beforehand (which I hear is quite delightful). But here’s the question: How will business compare to ‘The Lion King in 3D’? ‘The Lion King’ reigned at the box office was prior to its Blu-ray release. ‘Beauty and the Beast’, however, has already been on Blu-ray for over a year, including a 3D Blu-ray release that hit shelves last October. Any predictions?
The highly-advertised musical ‘Joyful Noise‘ finally opens this weekend. The best thing about its opening is that we won’t be forced to watch that awful trailer at the cinemas anymore. Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton star as two catty members of a Southern church choir that’s trying to make it to Regionals – just like the cast of ‘Glee‘. Their quarrel is amplified when Latifah’s innocent daughter falls for Parton’s grandson with a bad attitude. Wackiness, melodrama and quirky scoring ensue.
Mark Wahlberg headlines another bland cookie-cutter caper movie with ‘Contraband‘, a heist flick about smugglers. Marky Mark’s brother-in-law gets into deep trouble with a sleazy New Orleans drug dealer (Giovanni Ribisi). He has to return to smuggling to set things straight and keep his hot wife (Kate Beckinsale) and two kids out of harm’s way. Shut off your brain because this is one mindless action flick.
Several indies also open in limited release. The documentary ‘Man on a Mission‘ follows known videogame developer Richard Garriott on his 2008 trip to space. Just to become the first second-generation astronaut, Garriott spent his $30 million fortune on training and travel to the International Space Station. Considering that it features in-cockpit footage from blast off, I’m dying to see ‘Man on a Mission’ on the biggest screen possible.
Starring Peter Faccinelli of ‘Twilight‘ and Jaimie Alexander of ‘Thor‘, ‘Loosies‘ is a comedic romantic drama about an NYC thief confronted by a now-pregnant one-night-stand who wants him to leave his criminal life behind for one of responsibility and family. Eesh.
The movie that I’d kill to have open near me this weekend is ‘Don’t Go in the Woods‘, a horror movie with a musical twist. Unlike the cult indie rock opera short ‘The Legend of Beaver Dam’ (click here for the awesome trailer), ‘Don’t Go in the Woods’ is said to be the ‘Once’ of the horror genre. Another interesting note is that it was written and directed by Vincent D’Onofrio.
The final limited release indie worth mentioning is ‘Albatross‘, a twisted little drama from the UK about a girl who befriends another girl, only to have her new friend start sleeping with her father. It sounds like things are about to get heavy. ‘Albatross’ stars Felicity Jones of ‘Like Crazy’ and Jessica Brown Findlay of ‘Downton Abbey’.