Our first TV Madness match-up is done. Dexter Morgan stuffed martial arts master Caine, dismembered, into a few hefty bags and then sunk them to the bottom of Biscayne Bay. In the other match-up, CIA agent Annie Walker was no challenge for Hulk Hogan’s bulging biceps and idiotic acting. Hurricane Spencer and Dexter Morgan move on to Round 2. Today, we head over to the Plasma bracket to see how Michael Scofield fares against Sylar, and Jim Profit versus Spartacus in the LCD bracket.
I bet when Michael Scofield tattooed those prison plans all over his body and then spent the next few seasons running around the country avoiding a very persistent William Fichtner, he wasn’t expecting to run up against a super-villain who may or may not have eaten people’s brains to gain power.
Michael Scofield – Michael is smart, efficient, and has no qualms with covering his body in tattoos if it means helping his cause. I have to admit that I felt a little giddy during first episode of ‘Prison Break’ where Scofield reveals his awe-inspiring tattoo. “Now that’s cool,” I thought. Then the show seemed to hem and haw its way through season after season without getting much done. Couple that with the fact that Michael put up with T-Bag for far too long and you may have a character who doesn’t stand a chance against Sylar.
Strengths: Smart, cunning and can execute a plan with frightening efficiency. But how do you plan for someone like Sylar? Michael will go to great lengths to save people he cares about with no thought for himself, which is a commendable characteristic, but doesn’t really come into play here.
Weaknesses: His strength is also his weakness. Saving those he cares about most ultimately led to Michael’s demise in ‘Prison Break’. Also, his genius in mechanical engineering and tattoo planning may be sought after by Sylar, since Sylar is always on the lookout for new skills to take for himself. Oh, and electricity.
Sylar – Once known as Gabriel Gray, Sylar became a superhuman serial killer once he learned that he could extract powers from other people by “examining” their brains. Did he eat them? Well, that part was always left rather ambiguous, but I like to think that Sylar chowed down on one or two brains in his time.
Warning: Watch the Sylar clip on mute. Honestly, trust me on this one.
Strengths: Well, during his time on ‘Heroes’, Sylar was able to gain quite a handful of useful powers: telekinesis, freezing, liquefaction, enhanced hearing (which he only used when convenient to the show’s plot), precognition, rapid cellular regeneration, sound manipulation, electric manipulation, lie detection, shapeshifting, disintegration, and flight. (Thanks to Wikipedia for reminding me of all Sylar’s powers.)
Weaknesses: Sylar has a hubris problem. Usually, he’d find himself in trouble on the show because he became a little too big-headed and found himself in the wrong situation. While he always found a way to bounce back, his ego really got in his way.
In today’s second match-up, we have the lesser known Jim Profit going up against strapping warrior Spartacus. Can Profit’s deceitful, vengeful prowess at diabolical plans overcome the sheer ferocity that is Spartacus’ six-pack? Let’s find out.
Jim Profit – ‘Profit’ was a short-lived Fox show that followed the life of its title character, Jim Profit. Profit will do anything to work his way up the corporate ladder, including illegal things like, say, murder. The problem with the show, many say, is that people weren’t ready to follow a dark main character who reveled in antagonism.
Strengths: Profit had the Evil Glare down pat. He knew how to bribe and cajole his way to the top. Maybe in today’s TV world, his show would’ve been met with a much warmer welcome, since nowadays we find nothing wrong with our protagonists being serial killers.
Weaknesses: Well, the glaring weakness here can be extracted by seeing who he’s been matched up against. Profit is a well-manicured corporate bad guy who’d much rather do his dirty deeds in the dark. However, he’s going up against a muscled gladiator who kills day and night without much thought. Does Profit have the cunning to take on a seasoned gladiator?
Working his way up through the gladiator ranks, Spartacus finds himself dispatching enemies with blood-spiriting fury. Starz made no bones about making ‘Spartacus’ the prime example of television bloodlust, and Spartacus himself didn’t disappoint. He made a living hacking off limbs.
Strengths: You don’t even need to see the battle that took place before the video above starts. All you need to see is the dirt littered with dead, bleeding bodies to know that this guy is the real deal.
Weaknesses: He’s a hardened warrior and may not be able to overcome Profit’s wily ways. Profit has the advantage of setting a trap, but if this comes to a slugfest, the advantage goes to Spartacus.