TV Madness: Kent vs. Gavin – Nikita vs. Banner

Color me surprised. I didn’t expect Steve Austin to get killed off by Brisco County, Jr., but that’s just the way TV Madness works sometimes. In the other match-up, Jonas Blane easily handled Detective Olivia Benson in order to move onto the second round.

I fear that Mr. Gavin is simply outmatched by a mile here. Sure, he’s a salty, foul-mouthed fireman who goes off half-cocked like a crazy man more often than not, but he’s going up against Clark Kent, the Man of Steel. I guess the question you have to ask yourself here is: “Does the Superman persona automatically go along with being Clark Kent?” I’ve intentionally not labeled him Superman for a reason. It’s up to you to decide that.

Clark Kent – By popular vote, you the readers picked Tom Welling’s version of Clark Kent to represent the character in this tournament. The Kent from ‘Smallville’ is still finding out about himself and his abilities. Would he be able to beat another human being until they lay in a pool of blood, lifeless? That’s what this tournament asks of its participants.



Strengths: We all know Clark Kent’s strengths. There’s really no reason why we should reiterate them here.

Weaknesses: Coming from ‘Smallville’, Clark is more unsure of himself than the adult Kents we’ve seen throughout television history. Also, Kent (along with his Superman personality) is inherently good to the core. Could Clark Kent really beat up a man like Tommy Gavin?

Tommy Gavin – Played by Denis Leary, Gavin is a chain-smoking, alcohol-guzzling, pill-popping nutcase. Tommy’s crazy and would do anything possible to kill, maim or injure whomever gets in his way. Just check out the video below to see what Gavin did to his own brother after he found out that the brother was sleeping with his wife.



Strengths: He’s certifiably crazy. It doesn’t matter how much he’s outmatched, Gavin will go down swinging as hard as he can. As we learned from the Movie Madness tournament last year, the Crazy Factor goes a long way to help someone win.

Weaknesses: Tommy has no superhuman abilities, of which his opponent has many.

Clark Kent vs. Tommy Gavin

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Here we have an interesting match-up that poses the same conundrums as Clark Kent. However, when Kent is being Kent, he still inherently has Superman’s powers. On the other hand, when David Banner is himself, he’s a skinny, lab coat-wearing pacifist. It isn’t until his alter-ego comes out that he becomes such a scary menace.

Nikita – There have been a couple of incarnations of femme fatale Nikita on television. She was first played by Peta Wilson in ‘La Femme Nikita’ on cable, and is now portrayed by Maggie Q on the CW’s ‘Nikita’. I had a tough time choosing which one to go with because they both kick a whole lot of butt. Even though Maggie Q’s picture is being featured here, feel free to use Peta Wilson in her stead if you feel like she was a better, more fearsome Nikita. Either way, they’re both kick-ass females and are equally imposing.



Strengths: Nikita is a fighting machine. Espionage, assassinations, hand-to-hand combat – she’s got all the skills that make for a formidable foe.

Weaknesses: She doesn’t change into a hulking green monster when she gets angry.

David Banner – Bill Bixby took on the role of mild-mannered David Banner, while Lou Ferrigno played the iconic role of the Hulk. The Hulk wins just about any fight with his rage-filled, public-property-destroying tirades. But the question here is whether Nikita’s fighting Banner and the Hulk, or just Banner himself?



Strengths: Well, the obvious strength is that he has the ability to turn into the Hulk, and there’s a good possibility that he would here. Being punched and kicked by a wily assassin would definitely make him angry. The less obvious advantage that Banner possesses is that he’s very smart when he’s in Banner mode.

Weaknesses: The Hulk is strong, but dumb. A cunning opponent could theoretically deal with banner in Hulk Mode by outsmarting him.

Nikita vs. David Banner

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  1. Even though there may not be any logical rationale behind the battle, I’m voting for Tommy Gavin simply because Rescue Me is awesome and Smallville is lame. I’m not going to pretend that there’s anything more to it than that. 🙂

  2. CK

    I’ve never seen Smallville or Rescue Me, but I’d go with Kent. His unwillingness to kill wouldn’t come into play, considering this Gavin guy would die of natural causes before he could do anything to Superman.

  3. Seeing banners eyes here reminded me of one of the final episodes of last seasons “Eureka” and a very funny cameo by Stan “Generalismo Numero Uno” Lee as a Gamma Radiation scientist. What’s even funnier are the slides he’s showing are directly pulled from the credit sequence of the 70’s “Hulk”, and the music is a modified version of the “walking away” music that was consistently featured often at the end of the show.

    Pure comic gold, and if you don’t watch eureka I’m sure the clip is on Youtube somewhere.

  4. Clark Kent is the CLEAR winner of the first match. No matter how crazy a firefighter Tommy Gavin is (or how much better Rescue Me is than Smallville). Despite the selected clip, Tommy was repeated beaten up by girls smaller than him over the course of the series. He is badass when crazy mad but he can also be a bad fighter. This is a death match and the fact is that even Smallville Episode 1 Clark Kent would be impervious to anything Tommy Gavin could throw at him.

    I also voted for Hulk over Nakita. Tough choice because she’s smarter than him when he’s in rage mode. However, TV Hulk wasn’t the same as comic/movie Hulk. TV Hulk attacked the bad guys and then ran away without attacking anyone else. Seems like there’s some intelligence there. Also he’s the Hulk.

  5. I’m going to call nay on both Superheroes because unlike their big-screen versions, they often showed too many signs of weaknesses and handled the simplest situations in the poorest way.

    Plus, just like every other version of 007 or Batman is pretty lethal, Nikita is no exception to that rule either.

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