TV Madness: Givens vs. Nine

Now that David Banner has edged out Sherlock Holmes, and Malcolm Reynolds has a stranglehold on Sylar, it looks like we’re ready to move onto the final eight characters in the TV Madness tournament.

Before we dive right into the next match-up, let’s take a quick look at which characters are left standing. The remaining match-ups are as follows, assuming that Reynolds holds onto his relatively big lead on Sylar:

  • Buffy vs. Brisco County, Jr.
  • Cameron vs. David Banner
  • Jack Bauer vs. Malcolm Reynolds
  • Seven of Nine vs. Raylan Givens

I have to say that I’m extremely surprised Brisco has made it this far in the tournament. I had no idea that he had such a following. I’m pretty sure that Bruce Campbell has been voting from multiple IP addresses, but I can’t prove anything (yet).

Three out of the eight remaining characters are female. Female characters started out in the tournament only making up 17% of the field. Now they represent nearly 40% of the remaining characters. Good job, ladies.

David Banner is another surprise to me, although I should’ve known that people wouldn’t be able to separate Banner from the Hulk. However, it seemed that people were able to separate Clark Kent from Superman, so I’m still a little confused.

I thought for sure, when this tournament started, that Chuck Norris (Cordell Walker) would still be around. Thank you, everyone, for realizing that he’s all roundhouse kicks and no badass. [Checks behind back to make sure Chuck Norris isn’t getting ready to roundhouse kick my head off.]

Here’s a picture of how the tournament has turned out so far. Click to enlarge.

OK, now for the first match-up of these here quarter finals.

Raylan Givens is cool. We’ve all established that. He’s one of the coolest cats on television. So, what does the coolest man on TV do when faced with a threat from outer space? Now there’s a question! How does Raylan deal with a physically-enhanced human/cyborg mash-up designed for fighting? This will be a tough one to figure out.

Raylan Givens – He’s had one of the toughest roads to get to this point. First, he had to take out Walter White, who might just be the most popular and talked-about character on television right now. Then he had to fight Cordell Walker, who I was sure would be the recipient of the “Chuck Norris can defeat anything” voting contingent. Finally, in the last round, he had to take on the beefy, blood-thirsty Spartacus. The only thing is, those were all regular people. Seven of Nine is anything but ordinary.



Seven of Nine – Her path to this point hasn’t been easy, either. First, she took out the bruiser B.A. Baracus. (She came within just four votes of elimination there.) Then she had to take out my personal favorite of the tournament, The Tick, which she did with ease. On paper, her hardest match-up came from Fox Mulder, who has had numerous run-ins with extraterrestrial life. The hard-fought battle ended with Seven of Nine named the victor, by one vote. That’s how close it was.


Final Word: I love Raylan. It’s hard for me to vote against him. Really hard. But I’m sitting here looking at the match-up and wondering if Raylan stands a chance, since the only other character with any experience fighting aliens lost to Seven of Nine. Do regular guns even have an effect on a Borg? If guns don’t work, then what will Raylan do? I think I have to vote Seven of Nine here, even though I really, really hate to. Plus, we all know that Raylan gets distracted around sexy blondes.

Raylan Givens vs. Seven of Nine

  • Seven of Nine (63%, 53 Votes)
  • Raylan Givens (37%, 31 Votes)

Total Voters: 84

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  1. EM

    There have been other TV Madness contestants besides Seven and Mulder who have fought aliens. A complete list would have to include Jim Kirk, Worf, Steve Austin, Clark Kent, Lex Luthor, and Buffy Summers.

  2. Cameron Hurtado

    I’m still pulling for Raylan. Remember, this last season, he shot a hot blonde who pulled on him first. So when he needs to, he can look past the sexiness and TCB. Even without his gun, Raylan is one smart cookie with street smarts. If anyone can find a way to defeat Seven, it’s Raylan.

  3. I just want to see Cameron and Seven in the finals. Shoot, I would love to see a three-way (um, no, not that kind of three-way) with Seven, Cameron, and Buffy batteling it out. That would be one hell of a fight, and I am sure that some 30-year-old in his mother’s basement is probably already doing some CGI in Maya or Messiah of exactly this.

  4. Judging by the TV show, Raylan is more into scrawny, flat-chested chicks. Seven of Nine wouldn’t be his type, so I doubt he’d be too distracted by her.

    That said, as much as I prefer Justified to Voyager, there’s no logical way Raylan could win this match. His guns would be useless against her.

  5. Ian Whitcombe

    Up until the last episode of Voyager, Seven supposedly had some techno-babble doohickey that would cause her to short circuit if she experienced heightened emotional stimulation or stress, not a point in her favor.

    Of course, said doohickey was retconned in about the fifth-to-last episode and was completely inconsistent with prior events, so it may be best that we just ignore that.

  6. This is some serious bullshit, pardon my French but Raylan already has a gorgeous love interest and is sleeping with his ex last I saw.

    7 of 9 won’t do jack-squat to deter him from either arresting, defeating or blowing her brains out. Can you actually see her kicking someone’s ass in real life.

    The ONLY answer to that would be “HELL NO!”

  7. Ed, Watertown MA

    All my votes have discounted technology differences and been for the person who would win if they both had to use the same firepower.

    In this world, Raylan wins hand down. Probably by some totally illogical maneuver that 7 of 9 would never see coming.

    • EM

      That seems like a strange methodology. Without high technology, Seven would be either dead (because she needs some Borg technology to survive post-Borg) or presumably a normal human (because she would never have been Borgified in the first place). But on her show, she is usually neither dead nor a normal human. Depicting her as such is tantamount to depicting some other character entirely.

      By the same token, Cameron wouldn’t even exist.

      Do you also eliminate magical differences so that, for example, Buffy is just some young girl and Angel is an inert corpse? Do you eliminate other superpowers?

      • Ed, Watertown MA

        This is just my criteria, based on the character as written and as portrayed by the actor. Seemed the fairest way to judge them since the technology and superpowers are interchangable and could be arbitraily applied to any fictional character. What I’m voting for is what this particular fictional character would or could do with them, given a level playing field.