TV Madness: Banner vs. Hercules – Crockett vs. Spartacus

As I thought, Wednesday’s TV Madness battle between Fox Mulder and Angel is going down to the wire. It’s too close to call as I write this. However, I can definitely say that it looks like Buffy will take out Vic Mackey with relative ease.

Two muscle-bound leviathans square off here. I think the last match with David Banner solidified the fact that we can also include the Hulk wherever he’s concerned. It’s pretty much impossible to separate the two, I guess. If Banner started fighting someone, he’ll inevitably get mad and transform. With that in mind, going up against a demi-god might be the perfect sort of match for him.

David Banner – By day, he’s a mild-mannered scientist – a very smart one at that, except that he got something just a little wrong and now one of his experiments turned out to be him. Whenever he gets angry, the Hulk comes out and destroys everything in his path.




Tools of the Trade: He’s an exceptionally smart scientist, but his real strength lies within. The great green brute will demolish anything and anyone if he gets the least bit perturbed.

Hercules – He’s an all-around nice dude, but he certainly knows his way around a fight too. He’s taken on all manner of mythical creatures only to come out victorious. Don’t let those wavy locks or that disarming grin fool you. He’ll beat your ass.




Tools of the Trade: Like the Hulk, Hercules is exceptionally strong. How long do you think this battle would go on if the two of them kept trading punches? It’s kind of fun to think about. I suspect that the deity thing with Hercules would give him an advantage, but who knows?

David Banner vs. Hercules

  • David Banner (65%, 40 Votes)
  • Hercules (35%, 22 Votes)

Total Voters: 62

Loading ... Loading ...

These separated-by-time matches always prove difficult when I find myself voting. Many times, the characters from the past have much more bad ass-ness, but they seem overpowered by the simple evolution in technology. In hand-to-hand combat, there’s no question that Spartacus would pound that pastel-shirt-wearing detective, Sonny Crockett, into the ground. But then I inevitably remember that Crockett has a gun, the great equalizer.

Sonny Crockett – The ’80s were good to Sonny. He got to wear white suits with his choice of pastel shirts underneath and no one laughed at him. Don Johnson managed to create one of the coolest cats on TV, but will his coolness be able to overcome Spartacus’ rippling pectoral-ness?




Tools of the Trade: He doesn’t have the fighting skill that Spartacus has, but he has a gun. I guess we have to wonder how many bullets Spartacus can take. Can he endure enough bullets to get close enough to eviscerate Crockett with his sword?

Spartacus – Life is tough when you’re enslaved and told to fight for your life every single day. At least when you’re on Starz, you get plenty of slave booty along the way.




Tools of the Trade: Spartacus is a master at hand-to-hand combat, but we’ve already gone over this. Will he be able to overcome the elephant in the room? Guns could prove his downfall, even though he’s physically superior in every way to Crockett.

Sonny Crocket vs. Spartacus

  • Spartacus (77%, 44 Votes)
  • Sonny Crockett (23%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 57

Loading ... Loading ...


          • According to Kenny Johnson, the studio (Universal, I believe) thought Bruce was a (and this is the studio’s quote, not my own) “gay name”…so Kenny named him after his son, David. True story!

          • EM

            In comics, he was usually Bruce Banner, but a few stories called him Bob Banner. As Shannon notes, the name “David Banner” was invented for the TV series. Eventually Marvel compromised, establishing his full name as Robert David Bruce Banner. In a humorous moment one character, upon being introduced to the Hulk (who at the time had a more civilized personality), immediately took to addressing the green goliath as “Bobby”.