Movie Madness: Darth Vader vs. Dutch

Monday’s Movie Madness gave us a huge match that I thought would have been much closer than it ended up being. Batman easily handled ‘Star Wars’ royalty Han Solo and will move on to face Alice in the next round. Today, another character from the ‘Star Wars’ universe faces a tough matchup. Darth Vader squares off against Dutch today.

Vader has considerably more killing skills than Han Solo, so he may fare a little better in the Cinematic Sixteen than Han did. This matchup pits Vader against a man who’s had his share of battling aliens. Dutch has experience going up against killer beings from other worlds. So maybe, just maybe, he’ll find a way to get past Vader.

Darth Vader – He already had to go through another hardened veteran in the first round. Rambo didn’t have experience dealing with killer aliens from other worlds, but he was a very tough first round opponent . Truthfully, Vader is one of the only characters in this tournament who could have beaten Rambo in Round One. In the second round, he absolutely crushed Scott Pilgrim.

Secret Weapon: The freaking Force, man. He can strangle someone just by thinking about it. He doesn’t even have to touch his opponent. Forget a hand-to-hand battle; Vader could crush your hands with his mind. Then what are you going to do? Huh?

Dutch – It’s been a relatively tough road for Dutch up until this point. In the first round, he had to get past the immortal Captain Barbossa. The next round, he showed that once again guns are much stronger than swords by taking out Inigo Montoya.

Secret Weapon: Not only does Dutch have a gigantic gun, but he’s also inventive. He’s able to set traps for his opponents, and find a way to survive no matter what. It’s possible that Dutch could lay a trap that Vader that wouldn’t ever see coming.

Darth Vader vs. Dutch

  • Darth Vader (82%, 90 Votes)
  • Dutch (19%, 21 Votes)

Total Voters: 110

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  1. MultiWizard

    This turns out to be the Rambo/Vader match all over again. Vader can detect the traps set for him and he can yank Dutch’s gun out of his hands before he even shoots. I know Dutch survived a nuclear blast but can he survive a lightsaber impalement. I think not.

  2. Aaron Peck

    Vader just crushed Dutch’s flexing pectorals without even getting up from his morning breakfast. Easy peasy for the Dark Sith Lord.

  3. This is the only Star Wars character that deserved to make it this far, though Scott Pilgrim should have made a slightly better showing against him in the last round.

    • StarMenace

      Mace Windu should be on the list. He was beating the crap out of Darth Sidious before Anakin blindsided him.

  4. hurin

    Darth is certainly superior, but so was the predator. The predator lost because it wanted to show off and underestimated its opponent, I could see the same thing happen to Darth.

  5. Brian H

    “Yeah, but but Darth has Force Stealth,” which would be great if Vader didn’t possess the resilience of a cassette player. I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen Vader die- there was a movie called “Return of the Jedi,” and it had a subtitle of “wherein Darth Vader’s leather life support suit eats its last cassette tape.”

    The Predator’s entire life purpose is to find a creature that might be able give a good fight despite the huge technological/physiological disparity. Basically like trying to find the one baby bird that can withstand repeated attacks from a dude and his SUV. Plus, there is that whole cheating last stand exploding armband. And Dutch owned his face.

    Remember how Vader is always the apprentice and never the master? Vader was led around by the emperor for his whole life until he kills the emperor to save his son on account of how Luke reminds Vader of how lame he was at Luke’s age.

    Dutch met the Predator and said “FU predator, I will not die.” and when the island exploded, Dutch said, “FU island, I will not die.”

    R.I.P. Vader, you died in 1983.