Monster Madness: The Kraken vs. Mothra – Killer Rabbit vs. Kuato

The Fell Beast defeated the lumbering Cyclops by a narrow margin, and Grendel handled the Bride of Frankenstein rather easily. In today’s edition of Monster Madness, we’ll visit two of the tournament’s oddest match-ups.

How’s this for improbable? No, I’m not talking about a gigantic city-destroying moth, nor do I mean a huge sea-dwelling creature that lays waste to ships and sailors. What seems so unlikely to me is how these two would ever meet up. How would a battle like this even take place, and where? Who has the advantage? This is one of those match-ups that you’ll have to figure out the particulars for yourself.

Mothra – Don’t let its delicate outward appearance fool you. Mothra means business. Taking on Godzilla has made this monster one strong flying S.O.B. Mothra has had some decent success against the famous lizard, and has a knack for surviving.

Strengths: It seems that even Wikipedia (my most trusted monster consulting resource) is confused about what powers Mothra possesses. The page lists everything from biting and clinging, to beam-like weapons. Perhaps most interesting are Mothra’s psychic powers, which the monster can use “benevolently, to communicate with humans, or aggressively, to destroy her enemies.”

Weaknesses: Besides a giant bug zapper? I don’t have a clue.

The Kraken – This large tentacle-wielding beast from the deep is so fearsome that it even has a very intimidating black spiced rum named after it. The Kraken has spent years of mythology crushing ships and dragging many a sailor to the depths.

Strengths: If you go by the depictions of the Kraken in olden times, you’re looking at something akin to a gigantic death-dealing squid. If you go by the recent ‘Clash of the Titans‘ remake, you get something that more resembles the ‘Cloverfield’ monster, only with tentacles. Either way, it’s a pretty badass creature.

Weakness: How’s it going to reach Mothra all the way up there? Also, Sam Worthington and Johnny Depp.

The Kraken vs. Mothra

  • The Kraken (57%, 30 Votes)
  • Mothra (43%, 23 Votes)

Total Voters: 53

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The next wholly improbable (but not impossible) match-up takes place between a mutant from Mars and a killer rabbit from Medieval times that dined on knights and minstrels. How these two would ultimately come together to battle is anyone’s guess, but one thing’s for sure, it’ll be bloody.

Kuato – I’ll be the first to admit that Kuato doesn’t have much going for him in terms of physical prowess. Being attached to the stomach of Marshall Bell has its challenges, but at least his host looks like he could be a badass. That rabbit is feisty, though.

Strengths: He’s telepathic, but as far as actual strength goes, he’s limited to whatever strength his host provides. Bell also played General Owen in ‘Starship Troopers,’ so there’s that.

Weaknesses: He’s a blob of skin protruding from someone’s belly.


Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog – Born in the depths of hell, the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog tears its foes limb from limb, leaving nothing but death and carnage in its wake. Pound for pound, this is the most ferocious, relentless monster in the tournament.

Strengths: Its vicious ferocity isn’t to be trifled with. Never mind its size, it will rip open your jugular while you’re trying to figure out how something so cute can be so deadly.

Weaknesses: Holy Hand Grenades, and I don’t see many of them lying about at the moment.

Kuato vs. Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

  • Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (90%, 47 Votes)
  • Kuato (10%, 5 Votes)

Total Voters: 52

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    • EM

      ♫ I’ve got a theory
      It could be bunnies

      Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes
      They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
      And what’s with all the carrots
      What do they need such good eyesight for anyway
      Bunnies, bunnies
      It must be bunnies
      Or maybe midgets ♫

  1. Alex

    I honestly didn’t know that the creature was called “Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog”. There’s an identical enemy in Quest for Glory IV called the “Vorpal Bunny.” I always assumed that was the original name.