Monster Madness: King Kong vs. Aragog – Beast of Gevaudan vs. Swamp Thing

It looks like the squid of Nemo’s nightmares will pull off a victory against Sharktopus. Friday’s other Monster Madness battle was really close up until Sunday night, when the killer tomato eked out a win.

There are a couple of famous giant spiders in movies, but I chose to go with the one from the ‘Harry Potter’ universe due to size and scale. Shelob, while frightening, wouldn’t have matched up against these other gigantic monsters. Either way, spiders are creepy.

King Kong – He’s one of the most memorable movie monsters ever. Whether you’re thinking of early Kong from the ’30s, the animatronic version from the ’70s, or Peter Jackson’s CGI creation, he’s a formidable foe for any challenger. Does Kong have enough in him to squash an oversized arachnid?

Strengths: He’s large and agile. Being a gigantic ape gives him unparalleled fighting abilities. Many of the huge monsters in this tournament are fearsome but tend to lumber. Kong can swing, move and jump around with ease.

Weaknesses: ‘Twas beauty that killed the beast. Let’s just say that’s not one of Aragog’s strong suits.

Aragog – The giant spider from ‘Harry Potter’ folklore scampered off into the woods and gave birth to a large herd of human-craving spider babies. I guess you’ll have to weigh that fact during your voting. While I tend to vote on individual merits, it could be argued that Aragog’s army of spiders can make an appearance when he fights.

Strengths: Besides having legions of murderous spider soldiers at his beck and call, Aragog has his immense size to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. Plus, did I mention spiders in general seem to have been birthed from a pact between God and Satan, where God for some reason said, “Okay Satan, I’ll let you create one life form”?

Weaknesses: He’s old and blind. Not good when you’re going up against a multi-ton, ill-tempered gorilla.

King Kong vs. Aragog

  • King Kong (96%, 70 Votes)
  • Aragog (4%, 3 Votes)

Total Voters: 73

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This next match-up pits one of the most iconic creatures of cinema against a giant wolf of death. I really like this battle because every time I try to imagine Swamp Thing fighting the Beast of Gévaudan, it always ends with a pile of blood-stained seaweed.

Beast of Gévaudan – The lore about these beasts grew in France during the late 1700s. This particular monster has the added disturbing effect of possibly being real. In the 2001 film ‘Brotherhood of the Wolf’, director Christophe Gans created a very fearsome, awesome-looking monster based on the legend.

Strengths: This beast is fast and accurate. It can easily take down full-grown humans without much of a problem. Only the introduction of two martial-arts death machines finally stopped this beast. It’s a very tough enemy indeed.

Weaknesses: In the end, the beast turns out to just be a large wolf outfitted with armor and spikes.

Swamp Thing – I chose Swamp Thing over another humanoid swamp-inhabiting life form, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, because Swamp Thing seems more apt to fight, whereas Creature just wants to be left the hell alone.

Strengths: Swamp Thing has the advantage of being created in the comic book world, which grants him quite a few super-human abilities. He can regrow damaged limbs, control plant matter and bend it to his will, and has super strength.

Weakness: Apparently, the only weakness that Swamp Thing has, according to the trustworthy Internet, is pollution. Maybe this match-up ends a bit differently than I originally thought.

Beast of Gévaudan vs. Swamp Thing

  • Swamp Thing (74%, 50 Votes)
  • Beast of Gévaudan (26%, 18 Votes)

Total Voters: 68

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  1. Kong has experience killing giant spiders, so that one’s easy.

    In the second match, I’ll go with Swamp Thing, simply because I’d like to see a battle between Swamp Thing and the Blob at some point. It may never happen, but I think that would be a fun pairing.

  2. Alex

    I actually think Shelob could have taken out Aragog. Shelob’s got the stealth thing down in spite of being huge.

    Of course Kong tears either one limb from limb.

  3. EM

    One should be suspicious of the claim that Aragog gave birth for two reasons: (1) he’s male, as the write-up indicates numerous times; and (2) he’s a spider (certainly not a seahorse), and spiders are hatched, not born.

    I feel sorry for Aragog in this tournament: at this writing he has only 1 of 35 votes. Not that I voted for him, but I wish he were getting a little more respect.

    • Alex

      It’ not that Aragog isn’t intimidating or vicious, it’s that he’s up against King Kong, who grabbed a Tyrannosaurus by the head and ripped its jaws apart.

  4. Everyone waiting for the next Monster Madness installment probably noticed that we skipped one on Wednesday. Aaron is tied up at the moment with some important Blu-ray reviews. We’ll extend the voting on these two battles until the next post is ready. Sorry for the inconvenience. 🙂