Monster Madness: Godzilla vs. T-Rex – The Thing vs. Samael

In our last battle, the Kraken somehow snatched Mothra out of the air and dragged her to the depths, while the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog easily savaged Kuato. In today’s Monster Madness, two prehistoric lizards face off and the Thing battles the ancient beast named Samael.

Now this is an interesting match-up. Both contestants happen to be ferocious lizards who like to rip their enemies limb from limb. One terrorizes Tokyo, while the other makes poor John Hammond look like the world’s dumbest millionaire. (Sorry, Donald Trump.)

Godzilla – Created by nuclear radiation, Godzilla has tormented the poor people of Tokyo for decades. He’s not only crushed thousands of fleeing, badly-dubbed citizens, he’s also caused untold billions of dollars in property damage.

Strengths: Godzilla’s powers have shifted and changed over the years. Sometimes he’s a rampaging building crusher, and other times he breathes atomic fire. He’s a jack of all monster trades, it seems. What will be very concerning to T-Rex is that Godzilla grossly outmatches him in the size department. Like, it’s not even close.

Weaknesses: Much like his strengths, Godzilla’s weaknesses have come and gone over the years. However, his biggest weakness seems to be Matthew Broderick.

Tyrannosaurus Rex – Large, menacing and also quite rampage-y, the T-Rex and Godzilla have a lot in common. Both have done battle with King Kong, although that’s a sore spot for old T-Rex seeing that he had his jaw broken and his tongue bitten out in that bout.

Strengths: He’s big, ferocious, blood-thirsty and apparently so stealthy that he can hide his enormous pounding footsteps at the most opportune times, like when he needs to sneak up on a pack of attacking raptors.

Weaknesses: I remember seeing a movie monster size chart that gave a visual representation of just how big some monsters are. If that was to be believed, Godzilla’s big toe could easily crush the puny T-Rex.

Godzilla vs. T-Rex

  • Godzilla (89%, 124 Votes)
  • T-Rex (11%, 16 Votes)

Total Voters: 140

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This one is a little difficult, as the Thing can essentially become whatever it attaches itself to. Fighting a parasitic organism will prove to be a tough job for anyone in this tournament. However, Samael is a mythical creature. Can an organic alien organism have any sort of sway over a beast like that?

The Thing – It must be fun to be an alien life form that was sent to Earth to torment Kurt Russell.

Strengths: It’s adept at hiding in plain sight, seeing that it can imitate anyone. However, one wonders how much of an effect that will have against a beast conjured from the depths of hell.

Weaknesses: Dynamite.


Samael – Being a hound from hell has its perks. Samael likes to cause carnage wherever he’s conjured. The world is his oyster to destroy.

Strengths: Besides being a rather large monster with a penchant for destruction, he also has a unique ability to be resurrected. Even more menacing is the fact that when killed, two return in his place.

Weaknesses: Hellboy.

The Thing vs. Samael

  • Samael (51%, 63 Votes)
  • The Thing (49%, 61 Votes)

Total Voters: 124

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    • EM

      Two points: 1) The Thing can slay an opponent without “becoming” its opponent. 2) Upon assuming a form, it can, apparently at will, assume a novel form (albeit, it appears, one composed of components of previous victims) or, presumably, even reassume a previous form. In short, the Thing isn’t required to possess any particular form.

      This sounds like a strong matchup. It’s conceivable that Samael’s mystical nature might negate the Thing’s power to absorb its prey. But I believe that Samael’s power of resurrection is not unlimited: it can be slain for good by fire, n’est-ce pas? Of course, fire is also a tremendous vulnerability for the Thing, as well. I give the Thing an edge because it has access to knowledge and perhaps intelligences greater than human. It may be able to think its way through this battle with one tentacle-claw behind its backs.

  1. I love the T-Rex, but that fight has to go to Godzilla, I’m afraid. He’s just too big and powerful. I mean, let’s face it, Godzilla is effectively a giant mutated lightning breathing T-Rex anyway. 😉

    The Thing easily wins the next round. Samael is fun and all, but, well, pitching anything against The Thing is going to be a bit one sided. After all, a) It only needs to get one cell of itself in contact with its enemy to ultimately defeat them anyway, and b) it can become pretty much anything it needs to, to defeat an enemy even if it was somehow unable to absorb them initially. Dynamite isn’t even a weakness really, simply a temporary pause…

  2. EM

    Poor T-Rex. Godzilla is everything he is and more. Take heart, Rex: I’d be scared shitless if I encountered you.