Who would’ve thought that our closest fight yet in March Movie Madness would be between Judge Doom and William Wallace? The two ran neck and neck during the entire voting period, but Judge Doom finally squeaked out a narrow victory at the end. On the opposite side of the bracket, Scott Pilgrim handed a vicious loss to Lincoln Hawk and his backwards-facing hat. Today, we’re taking a look at one matchup in the VHS Bracket and one in the DVD Bracket.
Well, here’s an evil matchup if there ever was one. The dark wizard of all the world faces off against the most insane drug dealer we’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. While Voldemort is armed with a wand and pure hatred for Harry Potter, Tony Montana is defended simply by his “little friend.” Some may say that magic beats out everything, but let’s just remember that after seven years, Voldemort still couldn’t defeat a nerdy little English kid.
Voldemort – It’s easy to see why Voldemort had his name changed. Tom Marvolo Riddle just never exuded that evilness he was so desperately trying to exude. In any case, Voldemort comes into this tournament with a very big advantage. The dude can do magic. An “abracadabra” here and a little “hocus pocus” there, and suddenly you’re a newt without knowing exactly what hit you.
Strengths: Knows magic. Actually, knows black magic, which (let’s face it) is the coolest kind of magic. It never wins in the end (which is something to keep in mind, I guess), but it always has the neatest applications. Is a Parseltongue, so he can speak to snakes and all that. If he was going up against Indiana Jones, this would be an almost overwhelming power, right?
Weaknesses: English kids with glasses and inconvenient plot devices that seem to always turn his own plans on his head. He’s far too power hungry, and it always clouds his vision.
Tony Montana – You don’t get to the top of the drug business without being a complete heartless bastard. Mr. Montana probably has the least amount of goodness in his heart than anyone in this tournament. That’s saying a lot, as he’s going up against the darkest wizard ever.
Strengths: Complete and utter insanity. Like I said, crazy can make a person do a lot of things, especially in a tournament to the death.
Weaknesses: Also suffers from power hunger. Will both of these guys be so power hungry that they end up writing themselves right out of the tournament? Oh, and he’s not impervious to shotguns either. Ouch.
Voldemort vs. Tony Montana
- Voldemort (56%, 86 Votes)
- Tony Montana (44%, 68 Votes)
Total Voters: 154
Looking over the entire tournament, this is quite possibly my favorite matchup. I threw these two guys into the tournament as more or less fillers. (So sue me. It was getting increasingly difficult to think up different characters.) I couldn’t have imagined they’d be playing each other in the first round. Neither of them has any discernable fighting skills. Neither of them is an iconic action hero. They’re just two dudes. One is searching for his wife; the other is searching for Marty McFly.
Dr. Richard Kimball – His wife got murdered, and he got pinned for the crime. Due to a well-timed train derailment, Kimball was able to escape police custody and go on a manhunt for his wife’s true killer. This guy’s got moxy!
Strengths: He’s a tenacious evader. He evaded Tommy Lee Jones for almost an entire movie, even though Jones searched every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the area. He’s a wily detective. Figuring a way out of a tough spot is his specialty.
Weaknesses: One armed men. They’re his arch nemeses.
Biff Tannen – There’s been quite a few Biffs through the ages. I guess it’s up to you to pick which one you’re going to use in this fight. There’s ’50s Biff, who’s buff and dumb. There’s old Biff, who’s got that sweet cane shaped like a fist. There’s modern day Biff, who waxes cars. There’s Wild West Biff, who’s not really Biff, but he’s played by the same guy. Alternate ’80s Biff is a gambling kingpin. Finally there’s Biff’s future kid, Griff. Technically, I guess you could use him for this tournament, although some may argue that he’s a different character entirely.
Strengths: Big, muscular, and dumb. Stupidity can actually be an asset because you never know what your limits are, so you’re always testing them.
Weaknesses: McFlys (or is it McFlies?) and manure. He hates manure.
Dr. Richard Kimball vs. Biff Tannen
- Dr. Richard Kimball (64%, 94 Votes)
- Biff Tannen (36%, 53 Votes)
Total Voters: 147