‘Happy Endings’ 3.07 Recap: “The Greatest Show on Earf”

Everybody has secrets. Some people cheat on their taxes. Others might sell drugs to school children. And yet others might actually be… wait for it… stamp collectors! This week on ‘Happy Endings’, we learn Jane’s darkest secret: She’s a dreaded Christmas baby.

Yes, Jane’s actual birthday is December 25th, despite the fact that she has celebrated her special day in July for most of her life. She never told anyone her actual birthday because she knew that Christmas will inevitably outshine her. When the gang finds out, they’re determined to halt Christmas in favor of Janemas, an all out celebration of all things Jane.

Things aren’t as easy as they sound. Alex has a present-opening fetish that tears her apart. Max has an addiction to egg nog that he cannot shake. Even little things like Penny’s Santa socks (she claims that it’s the old guy from ‘Jurassic Park’) and Dave’s Christmas ring tone (he claims that it’s the theme song to ‘Jurassic Park’) cast a pall on Janemas.

Events quickly spiral out of control. Brad can’t resist dancing with his hip-hop Santa. Max goes on an egg nog bender, admitting that he didn’t vote for Obama because he didn’t respect his March Madness bracket. Alex’s desire to rip open any gift she can find turns her into a tiny demon.

Jane discovers a group of Christmas babies who celebrate their birthdays communally. Feeling like she’s finally found kindred spirits, Jane realizes that she doesn’t care when her friends celebrate her birthday, because everyone else in this new group are vengeful, spiteful, possibly violent misanthropes.

The episode has plenty of great gags. Alex’s ‘Love Actually’ gingerbread display is a sight to behold. Jane apparently carries two cans of mace in her bathrobe. Dave tries unsuccessfully to explain ‘Treme’ to Penny. And you really, really don’t want to pierce a CamelBak full of egg nog with a letter opener (not a present letter opener, mind you, but a letter letter opener).

In typical ‘Happy Endings’ fashion, everything ends with a dance-off between the gang and Brad’s hip-hop Santa. No matter who dances the best (it’s Alex), we all win. Merry Janemas, everyone!

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