Now Playing: ‘Chipwrecked’ Is a Trainwreck

With the previous two ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ movies, I was fortunate enough to miss those screenings. Sadly, as much I tried finding a way to avoid ‘Chipwrecked’, I just couldn’t get out of it. Here it is, folks. I took a bullet for you. Enjoy, because I sure didn’t.

Canceled television stars Jason Lee (‘My Name Is Earl’) and David Cross (‘Arrested Development’) play the two leading live-action actors who appear alongside the annoying, pop-singing Chipmunks and Chipettes. This time, they’re stranded on a lost island. There, the typical shenanigans of deserted island take place: They meet a crazy castaway, find a hidden treasure and have to escape before the island is obliterated by its active volcano.

If you haven’t noticed, the dumber a movie is, the angrier I get having to relive it while writing my review. For that reason, I’ll concentrate my hatred to few short lines. ‘Chipwrecked’ is one of the worst family movies I’ve ever seen. Nothing good comes from it. It never warrants a real laugh. Its musical remixes are even less necessary and more unbearable than those on ‘Glee’.

Kids don’t know any better, so they’re going to love it. It’s up to you parents to teach your children the difference between right and wrong – and ‘Chipwrecked’ is definitely wrong. If you fuel this crap, the studios will just keep making these “sure things” instead of trying fresh, worthy new family films. Be responsible.

If you’re wondering why I gave ‘Chipwrecked’ one star despite absolutely hating it, that’s only because the movie isn’t in 3D.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆


    • Drew

      He DOES have children. He still believes that it is shit.

      I have children. I believe that these films are shit.

      Children only eat this stuff up if they aren’t taught better. I have a very young son and daughter. They both said that this movie looks awful when they first saw the preview. They know better than to like something like this.

    • Luke Hickman

      Only one of my kids is old enough to watch movies, but she loves the good stuff – Fantastic Mr. Fox, anything Pixar, all the animated Disney flicks, etc. – so I don’t want to introduce her to the bad crap. Again, going back to the Universal Studios pres saying they’re only in it for the money, if we stop seeing the crap titles, the sure-fire sequels – then they’ll stop making them. I don’t care if it keeps my kid entertained for 90 minutes, the truth is that my kid and your kids deserve better. We shouldn’t be wasting our time on the forgettable crap.

    • JM

      The box office for kids movies seems entirely unrelated to quality.

      $663M – Kung Fu Panda 2
      $562M – The Smurfs
      $552M – Cars 2
      $485M – Rio
      $285M – Puss In Boots
      $245M – Rango
      $233M – Tintin
      $194M – Gnomeo & Juliet
      $184M – Hop
      $92M – Arthur Christmas
      $74M – Spy Kids 4
      $73M – The Muppets
      $39M – Mars Needs Moms
      $37M – Hugo
      $33M – Winnie The Pooh

      Of all the movie genres, in terms of financial investments, the kiddie flick seems to be the biggest crapshoot.

      • Are TinTin and Hugo even in national release yet? They just had a screening of TinTin a week ago, and Hugo, last I looked, was only playing in selected cities. Its kind of early to be comparing it with something like The Smurfs.

        • Luke Hickman

          Tintin opens in the US on Wednesday (it’s been in most territories for almost two months now) and Hugo isn’t expanding any farther. Perhaps once Oscar noms are announced it’ll expand again, but as of now, it’s as far reaching as it’s going to be.

  1. very disappointed in this review. luke says he hates the movie but the tone suggests that he has a soft spot for it. luke acts like someone put a gun to his head and forced him to see it. deep down in that cold heart of his ,there is a chipmunk dying to get out. 🙂

  2. I enjoyed the previous two movies and have them on Blu-Ray, and I do NOT have kids. I would love to hear a review from someone who has seen all three, and tell me how it compares.

    Since I don’t have kids, though, I haven’t seen any of the movies at the theater. I will probably pick up Chipwreaked as a rental when it comes out on Blu.