Oh. My. Dear. Lord. ‘American Horror Story’ was already the craziest show on television, but I simply can’t imagine it getting any more mind-blowingly insane than last week’s conclusion to the ‘Halloween’ two-parter.

So much balls-out nuttiness happens in this episode that there’s really no way to recount it all other than to list out the highlights as bullet points. At this point, it’s pretty clear that most of these characters are ghosts.

1. Ben and Vivien race home to search for Violet. Hands reach out for Viv’s feet from under the bed, but she steps away before they can grab her.
2. Violet calls her mother to tell her that she’s fine and just went out with friends. Really, she’s on a date with Tate. They go to the beach and she offers up her virginity, but Tate can’t go through with it. He claims that the anti-psychotic drugs Ben has been giving him have made him impotent.
3. Ben vows not to leave the house or give up on his family. Viv still wants him out.
4. Hayden (Kate Mara) disappears after showing up at the door. Ben assumes that she and Larry staged her death to blackmail him. He beats the crap out of Larry, who laughs at him and begs for death.
5. Tate and Violet are accosted by a bunch of teenagers with gory wounds all over their bodies. They look like victims of the school shooting massacre that Ben has been fantasizing about. Violet assumes that they’re in Halloween make-up. The teens seem to know Ben, but he claims not to know who they are.
6. Hayden calls Vivien and tells her to, “Ask him about Boston.”
7. Ben finds Hayden in the basement. She coughs up something bloody and says that she’s rotting from the inside out. Larry runs up and knocks Ben unconscious. He apologizes to Hayden for killing her, and offers his help in her plans.
8. A pissed off Chad (Zachary Quinto) smashes pumpkins on the front lawn. He screams to Viv that she has ruined his house and says, “No one can protect you now.”
9. Hayden lures Viv to the kitchen with an implied threat to her dog. Viv gets down there in time to see THE DOG EXPLODE IN THE MICROWAVE!! Holy shit! Did this really air on basic cable?!
10. Violet and Tate return to the house. The dead teens follow them there. Tate runs off and lures them away from the house.
11. Larry sets fire to the towels in the bathroom. Vivien runs in to stomp out the flames, which is when Hayden confronts her. Hayden seems genuinely shocked to learn that Vivien is pregnant.
12. The doctor’s wife from the 1920s unties Ben in the basement and tells him that he has to save the baby.
13. Ben runs up to the bathroom. He confesses to Vivien that he continued to see Hayden after he’d supposedly broken it off with her, and tells her about the pregnancy. He leaves out the bit about Larry killing her, however.
14. Hayden threatens to cut Vivien’s baby out with a shard of glass. Before she can act, a guard from the security company (Morris Chestnut from ‘V’) arrives and arrests her.
15. Constance (Jessica Lange) brings Violet over to her house and tells her about Addy’s death. She also reveals that Tate is her son, and begs Violet not to tell him about Addy, because he’s a sensitive boy and won’t take it well.
16. The dead teens catch up with Tate. He continues to insist that he doesn’t know who they are, and seems genuinely confused. One of the teens mentions that she’s supposed to be 34 now. Did Tate’s school shooting happen for real decades ago? Has he been dead the whole time, and not remember anything?
17. In the calm of morning, all the ghosts converge on the house, as if they’re all coming home to rest until the next Halloween, when they can walk among the living again.
18. Vivien finds the dog, seemingly alive. Is it a ghost dog?
19. The security guard drives Hayden to jail. She says that she put tomatoes in the microwave as a prank. Is this the truth? As they arrive at the police station, Hayden simply disappears from the car.
20. Ben agrees to leave the house. I have to wonder why Vivien wants to say there. Why doesn’t she move out and leave him there?

Once again, I fear that I’m failing to convey in words just how freakin’ nuts this show is. It’s one crazy revelation or event after another. (Mrs. Z just about walked out of the room after the exploding-dog bit.) How can the show possibly keep up this pace and this intensity? I don’t know, but I’m dying to find out.

Despite some nasty reviews (which I still don’t get at all), the show is a huge ratings hit for FX, and has already been renewed for a second season.