Agents of SHIELD 5.06

‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ 5.06 Recap: “People Who Buy Other People Are Not Good People”

The new episode of ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ is optimistically titled ‘Fun & Games’. Oh, how I wish I found much fun in this very dull season.

After taking a much-needed but too-short break from the lame sci-fi stuff, we’re unfortunately back to outer space. In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, I’m really not enjoying this part of the show.

On board the space station, the Kree are harvesting Inhuman children and forcing them to go through terrigenesis, in order to sell them as slaves once their powers manifest. A young scavenger named Flint gets swept up in this, much to the distress of Tess, who acts like a big sister to him. Once exposed to the terrigen mist, the boy immediately cocoons, and then appears to shatter into a million pieces. Tess is horrified, but not to worry, Yo-Yo actually zipped in and snatched him away right in front of the Kree guards. Coulson and the S.H.I.E.L.D.ies then hide the kid and try to keep him safe while the Kree, who aren’t convinced that he really died, hunt for him.

With the help of his alien friend Enoch, Fitz has taken on a persona named Boshtok, a “vile space marauder” of vast wealth who has come to bid in the auction for the Destroyer of Worlds. (From Skye to Daisy, Quake, Tremors, and now Destroyer of Worlds, the girl has almost as many aliases as Daenerys Targaryen at this point.) Fitz wears a sparkly brooch that’s supposed to signify how many people he’s killed, and tries to act like a cocky badass. Even though he’s not particularly convincing at it, Kasius is impressed and tries to suck up to his rich guest.

Fitz spots Jemma doing some menial task and tries to sneak a word with her, professing his love while she’s facing away. Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize that she’s totally deaf and doesn’t notice him at all. Fitz then complains to Kasius about the rude servant girl and gets him to turn off her inhibitors.

At a dinner held before the auction, Fitz meets his chief bidding rival, a smug senator (of what, exactly?) named Ponarian (familiar TV face Patrick Fabian, recently a recurring player on ‘Better Call Saul’). Kasius is even more delighted by him.

For the first gladiator match of the evening, Kasius pits telephath Ben against the recently-captured May. Ben has little trouble kicking her ass, but because he can read her mind and because he’s obviously in love with Daisy, he sends a telepathic message to Fitz instructing him to cause a scene and interrupt the fight. This gets May a reprieve, and Kasius banishes her to the Earth’s surface (effectively a death sentence) rather than make Ben follow through with killing her in front of everyone.

Even though Ben technically won the match, Kasius makes a big spectacle of punishing him for the crime of lying to him when he confirmed Daisy’s story about Jemma being the only other time-traveler from the past. To Jemma and Daisy’s horror, Sinara kills Ben with her magic flying ball things.

Grill catches the S.H.I.E.L.D.ies harboring the boy Flint and threatens to turn them all over to Kasius for a reward. Flint then discovers that his Inhuman power is telekinesis, which he uses to smash Grill with some big rocks, killing the man. As the group escape and try to reunite with Tess, they find her dead body hanging on display in a main pavilion, a sign reading “Bring the Inhuman” draped over her neck.

Just in time for the most important auction, a new bidder arrives at the station. It’s Kasius’ brother Faulnak, heir apparent to the Kree empire and their father’s favored son. The brothers have a lot of animosity, and this dredges up big-time daddy issues for Kasius. Faulnak demands that Kasius prove Daisy’s worth by making her fight Kasius’ best warrior – Sinara. Given that this is to be a battle to the death, it’s a no-win situation for Sinara. Either she wins and destroys Kasius’ dreams of wealth and power, or she loses and… well… dies. Sinara isn’t exactly thrilled with either option. Nevertheless, Kasius forces her into it.

Kasius raises a forcefield in front of the viewing stand and then restores Daisy’s power. She and Sinara have a very blandly staged girlfight. With her abilities, Daisy really ought to be able to make quick work of a woman whose only fighting tactic is to stand back and throw balls at her, but for the sake of drama the show plays this up as if they’re evenly matched. Ultimately, Daisy wins, but stops short of killing her opponent.

Just then, Fitz and Jemma strike. Jemma slashes Kasius’s throat with a knife (but doesn’t appear to kill him) and Fitz shoots a bunch of guards with an icer gun, then lowers the forcefield. Unfortunately, Faulnak activates Daisy’s inhibitors before she can wreck the place. Daisy and Jemma jump into the pit with her and the three of them make their escape, icing Sinara on the way out. Thrilled to be reunited with her love, Jemma proposes to Fitz.

At episode’s end, Enoch disguises himself as a Kree and shoots a guard in order to access an elevator down to the Earth’s surface, presumably to save May.

Episode Verdict

Despite trying to throw in a little action, this is another dreadfully dull episode. Fitz’s badass persona is laughably unconvincing, and the shocking character deaths (Ben and Tess) are people it’s nearly impossible to give a damn about.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *