Bruce Willis says that he wants to do at least one more ‘Die Hard’ movie after this week’s ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’. Given the franchise’s history of making puns out of its titles, we thought that we’d use today’s Roundtable to offer up suggestions for what the sixth movie should be called.
I set one ground rule when I forwarded this topic to our staff. ‘Old Habits Die Hard’ has already been tossed around extensively as a potential title for the next sequel. I took that one off the table. Anything else is fair game.
Daniel Hirshleifer
‘Twenty-Sided Die Hard‘
John McClane is hit on the head while watching ‘The Lord of the Rings’, and imagines himself in a ‘D&D’ fantasy land, that he of course has to save. It’s the ultimate fish out of water story! Also starring Felicia Day.
Luke Hickman
‘Born Alone, Die Hard Alone‘
John McClane once again finds himself in a seemingly impossible scenario. McClane is the king of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. After finally getting dishonorably discharged from the NYPD, McClane’s newsworthy rap sheet and celebrity status have landed him a decent job as head of security at the headquarters of a major international business in New York City. McClane gets in over his head when he notices something shady going on and puts his neck out there to stop it, only to get entangled in his most elaborate and difficult terrorist scheme yet. While fleeing the building in pursuit of the bad guys, two officers are killed and the video surveillance leads the NYPD to believe that McClane is behind the crime. It’s assumed that he wants revenge on the police force for firing him after saving the world several times. McClane must not only put an end to the terrorist plot entirely on his own, but must stay out of the sights of cops with itchy trigger fingers.
Shannon Nutt
Because it has been mentioned by fans and the studio alike (and ultimately nixed by 20th Century Fox), there’s really no need to mention ‘Die Hard 24×7′, which would team super-cop John McClane with super-spy Jack Bauer. Instead, I suggest another team-up between Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson (they’re already on-screen pals thanks to ‘G.I. Joe 2′) in… wait for it… ‘Between a Rock and a Die Hard Place‘. Can you smell what John McClane is cookin’?!
Aaron Peck
‘To Die or Not to Die (Hard)‘
John McClane joins a traveling Shakespearean acting troupe after retirement. All is going well, until the Renaissance fair they’re performing at is besieged by Shakespeare-hating Russians, hell-bent on wiping Shakespeare’s influence from the planet.
Tom Landy
How about ‘Energizer vs. Die Hard‘? John McClane takes on his most fearsome foe yet: a pink drum-playing bunny wearing sunglasses with the STAMINA OF A TERMINATOR! The tagline obviously would be: “Assault by Battery.”
Bryan Kluger
‘Surf Nazis Must Die Hard: Innnnnnn Spaaaaaaaace‘
It’s been several years since McClane’s unfortunate accident, which left him paralyzed from the waist down. However, due to new technology in the medical field, McClane now has robot legs and is itching to leave his desk job at the police office and head back into the field. Nevertheless, on his most triumphant return to the field, a new group of Neo-Nazis take control of the beaches of Galveston, TX and wreak havoc on the local tourists and citizens as they make their way to Houston, TX, specifically NASA’s headquarters. Their plan is to hijack a space shuttle and head for the secret government space station on the moon where they’ll take over Earth’s defense systems and missiles and create total annihilation on the population. McClane hates Nazis, and stows away secretly on the space shuttle with plans to take out the entire Neo-Nazi group singlehandedly.
Brian Hoss
‘Never Say Die Hard Again‘
Bruce Willis basically takes the series into geriatric territory. Essentially a confluence of the Willis character in ‘RED’ and John McClane, the film would find McClane grumbling about his grandkids’ life choices, deeply embroiled in the goings-on of his assisted living domicile. Naturally, he would wind up at explosive odds with a new generation of pro-Communist Cuban exiles, who are far too young to understand McClane’s ageless street smarts and hardy ability to always be the correct distance away from a massive explosion. In the balance would be Florida, known as “New Cuba” to the film’s villains. Yippee-ki-yay, Castro-ites.
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk)
‘Faster, Pussycat! Die Hard! Die Hard!‘
It’d just be Bruce Willis in a wifebeater and boxers chasing a cat around with a broom for 105 minutes.
M. Enois Duarte
‘It’s Do or Die Hard‘
Imagine if, after his fighting crime with his daughter and son, Holly Gennaro reappears in the life of our favorite cop. Returning back to basics, she’s on a business trip in the Middle East and caught in a terrorist situation where a group of no-good criminals hold the entire building hostage. The only man with the proper experience to rectify the situation is none other than our reluctant hero, John McClane.
Josh Zyber
Aside from the latest film (which is the first ‘Die Hard’ movie actually written with the specific intention of being a ‘Die Hard’ movie), previous entries in this franchise all started lives as other, unrelated projects. The original ‘Die Hard’ was originally developed as a sequel to a 1968 Frank Sinatra picture called ‘The Detective’. ‘Die Hard 2: Die Harder’ was based on the book ’58 Minutes’ by Walter Wager. ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’ combined scripts for an unproduced ‘Lethal Weapon’ sequel and an original screenplay called ‘Simon Says’. Finally, ‘Live Free or Die Hard’ began as a cyber-terrorism thriller named ‘WW3.com’.
With that in mind, I nominate that the producers resurrect an unfinished project from one of our greatest filmmakers for the next one. As I mentioned in last week’s Roundtable, Robert Altman was working on pre-production of a film called ‘Hands on a Hard Body’ when he died. In ‘Hands on a Die Hard Body‘, terrorists have rigged a pickup truck with a nuclear bomb connected to a pressure sensor. The only way to stop it from detonating is for someone to keep his hands touching the truck at all times. Several cops hold on at first, but as the pickup races towards our nation’s capital at breakneck speed, most are picked off by the baddies one-by-one. Does John McClane have the stamina to hang on with one hand while punching, stabbing and shooting terrorists with the other? Can you say, “Yippee-ki-yay, mother trucker”?
Failing that, let’s just go with ‘Die Hardbodies‘, in which super-stud John McClane agrees to teach a group of schlubby middle-aged losers how to pick up chicks… chicks who turn out to be terrorists! Because, why not? The script’ll take all of ten minutes to write. In the course of this, McClane falls for a supermodel-hot young single mom and finally makes his famous catchphrase literal.
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Those are some of our goofy ideas. Tell us yours in the Comments.
Written by: Josh Zyber | Visit Website
Josh Zyber is a veteran movie and video disc reviewer from Laserdisc to DVD and beyond. In addition to managing this blog and writing the occasional Blu-ray review for High-Def Digest, Josh also contributes regularly to Home Theater magazine.
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Tags: Bruce Willis, Die Hard, Movie Titles, Weekend Roundtable
How about a team up with James Bond?
Live and Let Die Hard
Tomorrow Never Dies Hard
Die Hard Another Day
John McClane must fight militant rogue hippies:
Tie-Die Hard
Actually, this one might work:
Live Fast, Die Hard
Die Hard and Leave a Bald Corpse
Win Or Die Hard Trying
Only the Good Die Hard
Actually found that one browsing
Die Harderer
Since that worked so well for Dumb and Dumberer
The adult film version: Die Hard-On
99 Ways to Die Hard (little Megadeth reference for anyone who doesnt know)
The next one should be called Died Hard. In it, McClane makes the ultimate sacrifice by stopping studio heads into continuing to kill the franchise.
Terrorists infiltrate a Viagra plant and put a toxin in in the formula that will kill whoever takes it, since they know the current President has a penchant for fooling around and he takes the pill for assistance.
A Blue Pill to Die Hard
John McClane Dies Hard at the End.
Born to Die Hard
Wake Up and Die Hard
He Who Lives by the Sword, Shall Die Hard
Live as if You Will Die Hard
Die Hard and Fast
Die Hard to Get
Haha, this is way too much fun!
How about Die Hard With Viagra.
I’m sure Willis is already downing them like Fredo with cocktail waitresses…
A Threat To Die Hard
Die Hard: Die Fast, Die & Furious – Willis teams up with Paul Walker & Vin Diesel to thwart a Lilimousine Rental tycoon’s plan to abduct Hollywood royalty during the Oscars. The tycoon is the same kid who drove the limo in the first movie.
Even though I have one up there already……I really think the only option is to title the next film “Eat Sh*t and Die Hard”!!!
After this last sequel, “DOA Hard” or “Retire Flaccid”. McClane limps into a retirement home and wanders around the facility telling all the nurses over-and-over again how he’s making fists with his toes.
Lady Di Hard (too soon?)
Die Hard Days Night
Die Hard Knock Life
We Don’t Die Hard, We Multiply Hard
Sh*t Twice and Die Hard
Win, Lose, or Die Hard
“Old habits Die Hard”. Back to basics in plot.
The one about the security guard and the two cops being killed doesnt even sound that goofy, sounds pretty much like a decent die hard plot :p
The Bigger They Are, The Die Harder They Fall
“Curl Up and Die Hard”
The Final Moment to Die Hard
‘A Roll Of The Die Hard’
Takes place in Vegas.
only the young die hard
black shoes, white shirt; die hard
the life and times of john mcclain
all dogs go to heaven (lol)
all dogs die hard
the hard die hard
Vengeance to Die Harder or Live Free
Just Die Hard, already!