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Who Is Watching These Movies?!!by Aaron Peck Here at High-Def Digest I seem to review quite a few dreadful movies. No, I'm not being punished (although, sometimes it feels like it), I just have more free time than the other reviewers, so I pick up many of the movies that no one else wants to review. I seldom find a rare gem in the pile of dreck I sift through on a weekly basis. After the 30th movie featuring a WWE or MMA star I find myself wondering who in the world is watching some of these movies?! Why are they watching them? And why do they hate me so much? Don't you know that watching this stuff encourages the filmmakers to make more of it, and that means I then have to review those movies too? [teaser]With that out of the way, I'd like to welcome you to the first ever edition of Who Is Watching These Movies?!! Come with me as we dive into the world of terrible cinema and wonder to ourselves how these movies are getting made on a constant basis.[/teaser] 'Wild Cherry' This movie was directed by a woman, although you wouldn't be able to tell since it's the most misogynistic atrocity since Michael Bay's last production. At least Bay simply just treats women like stick-thin mannequins that are there solely for us to stare at. Dana Lustig (my self-proclaimed most hated director of the year) treats women like they're morons. Especially when those girls are virginal high schoolers. How dare these women try and keep their virginity to themselves. It's up to the boys of the school to set them straight and take it from them. If that doesn't make it bad enough, Lustig and the rest of the movie's cruel writing staff, think that the girls should apologize for their behavior at the end. Because, you know, the football team was losing because they didn't give it up in the first place. Not only do I want to know who is watching this, but I want to know who actually agreed to finance it. After they witnessed poor Tia Carrere chanting a song called "Power of the Pussy" wouldn't they have immediately wondered if their money would've been safer invested somewhere else, like the stock market? 'Tactical Force' Steve Austin keeps making movies and I keep having to watch them. It's funny, because every Steve Austin movie plays out pretty much the same way. Austin is surrounded by a bunch of ne'er-do-wells and he's got to fight his way out using a combination of phony-looking punches to the face and forearm hammer drops to the back of the neck. Everyone that goes up against him in movies inevitably runs out of bullets and has to resort to fighting the beer-crushing wrestler in hand-to-hand combat scenes that move as fast as King Mable. There are a lot of wrestling fans out there, and I get that the sport is widely popular, but does that mean those fans are really purchasing every Austin movie that comes out? The guy may look menacing in the ring as he froths at the mouth and flips people off, but in the movies he simply looks like a big, bald galoot, one who can't emote anything other than mild confusion and "I'm-going-to-kill-you-now-with-a-power-bomb" anger. 'The Hit List' Oh Cuba, what happened to you? Somewhere around 'Radio'…wait maybe it was 'Boat Trip,' or maybe 'Rat Race,' your career went so far south that we wonder if you even remember winning that Oscar. Talk about Hollywood's biggest fluke. I wonder where that statuette is now. Since that fateful Oscar acceptance speech, Cuba has starred in such hits as 'Daddy Day Camp,' 'The Devil's Tomb,' 'Lies & Illusions,' and 'Sacrifice' (two of those four starred Christian Slater, another master of the direct-to-video market). Cuba keeps making movies that have never seen a theater screen, my question is: Why? Are there that many people out there who are still jonesin' for a new Cuba Gooding Jr. movie? Does putting him on the cover decked out like a badass action hero make people more likely to pick it up? The way he keeps churning out the low-budget crap makes me think that someone out there must be making money on these. My question is who? And how? 'Blood Out', 'Gun' , and every other 50 Cent Val Kilmer collaboration Is there really a market for the terrible "gangster" movies that 50 Cent keeps coming out with? I can see no viable reason why these movies should keep getting made, or why Val Kilmer keeps agreeing to act in them. It could be the draw of free coffee and donuts at the catering table. Actually, that's my guess. Wave a fried good in front of Kilmer and he comes running… well, waddling (Don't worry, I've got plenty more Val Kilmer fat jokes ready to fire off at a moment's notice. Next installment I'll bring out the Fatman material). Are people really buying enough copies of these movies that it makes someone, somewhere a profit? The mere thought of someone making money off of flicks where 50 Cent glowers at the camera and tries to act really tough, well, it just makes me sad. Please, people, for the love of humanity, movies, and everything that is near and dear to you in this world. Please stop buying these movies. Stop watching them. Just stop. There's nothing to see here. Move on. Forget about these movies, go find better ones. Hell, even mid-90s Seagal movies will do.Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 12:10 PM PDT by: -
'How to Train Your Dragon - 3D,' 'Megamind - 3D,' & 'Monsters vs. Aliens - 3D' Best Buy Exclusives[teaser]Three more Blu-ray 3D hardware exclusives are going retail only at Best Buy this September. [/teaser] In an early announcement to retailers, 20th Century Fox revealed 'How to Train Your Dragon - 3D,' 'Megamind - 3D,' and 'Monsters vs. Aliens - 3D' will be available on September 6 exclusively at Best Buy stores. Specs and supplements details have yet to be revealed, but each Blu-ray 3D title will be available for $34.99. You can find the latest specs for 'How to Train Your Dragon - 3D,' 'Megamind - 3D,' and 'Monsters vs. Aliens - 3D' linked from our Blu-ray Release Schedule, where they're now indexed under September 6.Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM PDT by: -
Boxee Launches iPad App, Updates Boxee Box, and Adds AirPlay[teaser]They've also announced a new feature that will allow you to bookmark media for future viewing. [/teaser] Now this is what we like to see in an update. Not only has Boxee launched an iPad app, but they've added experimental AirPlay support, updated the Boxee Box and more. That's pretty impressive for one day's worth of announcements. Boxee for iPad works pretty much like Boxee for other devices. You can watch videos, save online videos for later viewing on Boxee, automatically adds videos that your friends link on Twitter or Facebook - assuming that's something you want - and send video to your TV via the Boxee Box. Not too shabby for a free app. The update to the Boxee Box brings it to firmware 1.2 and adds a "Featured Apps" section, the ability to filter premium sources, better support for different video files and the ability to receive beta versions of the firmware in the future. It also adds AirPlay, though the implementation is still in the experimental stage. There are a few more new announcements from Boxee and plenty more details, so check out the Boxee Blog for more. Source: BoxeePosted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 11:00 AM PDT by: -
'Mr. Nice' Announced for Blu-ray[teaser]The 2010 independent crime comedy has been slated for Blu-ray this October! [/teaser] In an early announcement to retailers, MPI is working on 'Mr. Nice' for Blu-ray on October 11. The film stars Rhys Ifans as elite British drug smuggler Howard Marks and is written and directed by Bernard Rose ('Immortal Beloved'). Specs and supplements haven't been revealed yet, but suggested list price for the Blu-ray is $34.98. You can find the latest specs for 'Mr. Nice' linked from our Blu-ray Release Schedule, where it's now indexed under October 11.Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 10:00 AM PDT by: -
Onkyo Adds and Expands Online Music Support for 2011 Receivers[teaser]You'll find a service called AUPEO!, Spotify, and expanded support for Last.fm. [/teaser] It's easy to think of your home theater as something that's used for watching movies and not much else, but depending on your setup it can be an impressive music player too. The folks over at Onkyo have added quite a bit of new functionality to their 2011 receiver lineup that makes it even easier to enjoy the music you love and find more artists to enjoy. AUPEO! is a new addition to all 2011 receivers. It may not be as familiar a name as Last.fm and Spotify, but the service offers 120 specialized music channels, custom made channels, artist specific channels and a Mood Selector that matches music to suit your mood. Spotify is new to the lineup as well, debuting on Onkyo receivers just as the service came online for US residents. The service can be used on a free or subscription basis, with different tiers depending on what you want from Spotify. Finally, Onkyo has expanded Last.fm support to all of its 2011 receivers - it was previously only available on certain models. Source: OnkyoPosted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 09:00 AM PDT by: -
HDD Spotlight Bargain: 'Jackie Brown' $10.49 at Amazon[teaser]Pre-order the Quentin Tarantino film on Blu-ray at Amazon and save nearly fifty percent![/teaser] The online retailer is selling the Blu-ray of 'Jackie Brown' hitting stores on October 4 for just $10.49 (48% off suggested list price). The 1997 crime thriller tells the tale of a stewardess (Pam Grier) caught between the police and an arms dealer and landed a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award nomination for Robert Forster. Click here to take advantage of this great deal!Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 08:52 AM PDT by: -
'The Guns of Navarone' Blu-ray Announced[teaser]The 1961 war classic is gearing up for a mid-October Blu-ray release! [/teaser] In an early announcement to retailers, Sony says 'The Guns of Navarone' is planned for a Blu-ray release on October 18. The film starring David Niven, Gregory Peck and Anthony Quinn was nominated for seven Oscars including Best Director and Best Picture and claimed Best Effects/Special Effects. The Blu-ray will feature 1080p video, a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 soundtrack, and will be packed with supplements including: Audio commentaries with director J. Lee Thompson and film historian Stephen J. Rubin, the narration-free prologue, the roadshow intermission, Memories of Navarone retrospective documentary, The Greek Resistance, The Old School Wizardry of The Guns of Navarone, World War II and the Greek Islands, The Real World of Guns of Navarone, The Navarone Effect, Military Fact or Fiction, Forging the Guns of Navarone: Notes from the Set, Ironic Epic of Heroism, Epic Restoration, A Heroic Score, Message from Carl Foreman, Great Guns, No Visitors, Honeymoon on Rhodes and Two Girls On The Town. Suggested list price for the Blu-ray is set at $19.99. You can find the latest specs for 'The Guns of Navarone' linked from our Blu-ray Release Schedule, where it is indexed under October 18.Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 08:00 AM PDT by: -
Startup Company Milleniata Boasts an Indestructible Disc[teaser]For now they're sticking with 4.7 GB discs that will be able to be read by DVD and Blu-ray players. [/teaser] DVDs and Blu-rays are used for more than just watching movies and installing games - they're a space efficient way to back up large amounts of digital data. The problem is that they're not exactly durable. Discs crack, scratch, and sometimes just fall apart on their own. A company called Milleniata claims to have the solution. Their new M-Discs are made out of a stone-like substance that requires no reflective or die layer and is durable and resistant to scratching. The company claims that you can move it from liquid nitrogen to boiling water without damaging it, which certainly can't be said for current discs. The Department of Defense backs up those claims, reporting that the discs suffered no damage at all after rigorous testing. By comparison, the report states that every other disc tested was less reliable after the stress tests. "Many of the discs were so damaged that they could not be recognized as DVDs by the disc analyzer." While these new discs aren't going to be used in the kinds of Blu-rays we enjoy movies on any time soon, this can be seen as a positive sign of things to come. LG is already working on a drive to write to these new discs, and the discs themselves are surprisingly inexpensive - just $3.00 a discs. Could this mean a scratch free, crack free future? We sure hope so. Source: Computer WorldPosted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 07:00 AM PDT by: -
'Mortal Kombat: Legacy' Dated for Blu-ray[teaser]The hit fan-made web-series will bring the fight to high-definition in November! [/teaser] In an early announcement to retailers, Warner Premiere has revealed 'Mortal Kombat: Legacy' for a Blu-ray release on November 8. The 9-episode series from Kevin Tancharoen ('Mortal Kombat: Rebirth') expands the mythos of the popular Mortal Kombat Video Game franchise and currently has over 12,000,000 hits on YouTube. Specs have yet to be revealed, but supplements include: Mortal Kombat Legacy: Fights - A look at the role Fatalities and hyper-violence play in the Mortal Kombat storytelling process. Included within the piece is a detailed exploration of the fights and stunts staged during the production of the web-series and Mortal Kombat Legacy: Fan Made - Go inside the mind of Mortal Kombat super fan Kevin Tancharoen and uncover his passion and vision that brought Mortal Kombat: Legacy to life. Blu-ray exclusives include: Mortal Kombat Legacy: Expanding The Netherrealm -- Multi-chapter documentary brings the Mortal Kombat universe to life; Mortal Kombat: Mysticism - Discover the powers that define the characters; Mortal Kombat: Gear - Explore all the weapons that make Mortal Kombat fighting unique. Suggested list price for the Blu-ray is $19.98. You can find the latest specs for 'Mortal Kombat: Legacy' linked from our Blu-ray Release Schedule, where it is indexed under November 8.Posted Wed Aug 10, 2011 at 06:00 AM PDT by: -
Top 5/Bottom 5: Robin Williamsby Aaron Peck Robin Williams is versatile. Okay, you can stop laughing right now. He is. Sure, he has his lightning-quick stand up routine, where he rambles on and on, swearing more than he actually says anything, but there are times when he'll surprise you. He's one of those actors that can be insufferable at one moment and genuinely great the next. Take his dramatic roles for example. He, like a select few funny men, was able to reinvent his persona in a couple of very dark roles that turned out to be his very best. It never stopped him from doing the same old dry comedy shtick though too. Hey, he's got bills to pay afterall. [teaser]Since the domestic release 'Good Will Hunting' is coming to Blu-ray at the end of this month, we decided to take this time to look back on Robin Williams' career and discuss his best and worst movies.[/teaser] The Best 'Aladdin' Williams' voice is perfect for cartoon voice work. His ability to improvise, do impressions, and be all out crazy was absolutely what Genie needed in 'Aladdin.' Even though he's completely over the top 'Aladdin' is still fondly remembered as one of the better latter-day Disney animated features. This is mostly due to the memorable performance by Williams and the infinitely quotable lines he churns out during the movie. I remember, as a kid, quoting Genie as much as humanly possible. "Jafar, Jafar, he's our man, if he can't do it GREAT!" Williams makes 'Aladdin' all that much more enjoyable. He brings Genie to life and creates one of Disney's most memorable characters in the process. He shows restraint when it's needed, and never becomes overly obnoxious – which could've easily happened. 'Aladdin' also happens to be one of my most anticipated Disney releases not yet on Blu-ray. Come on Disney, let's make this happen. 'Dead Poets Society' This is the rare Williams movie where he's allowed to be both serious and comical, usually in the same scene. There are so many classic moments in this 1989 gem that it's hard to count them all. We saw the extent of what Williams could do with a meatier role. A role where he wasn't just asked to be an on screen version of his stand up persona. 'Good Will Hunting' This one became and instant classic and is still beloved by critics and audiences alike. It's true that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck received most of the praise for this movie, and rode its popularity to ultra-stardom. But, it was Williams' role as Sean McGuire that seems like the mortar that holds the movie together. He gives it a spirit and energy that makes the movie a memorable cinematic experience. 'Insomnia' Can Williams play creepy? You bet he can! With Christopher Nolan at the helm, 'Insomnia' turned from a formulaic cop drama into a truly unsettling movie experience. This was helped along by Williams' performance as Walter Finch, a strange crime novelist who ends up playing a cat-and-mouse game with Al Pacino. In every scene where Pacino starts chewing up the scenery, Williams counteracts with a subtle performance that harnesses a terrifying undercurrent of hostility that works perfectly for this role. 'One Hour Photo' Truthfully, I thought was going to stink. It reeked of a "hey look this funny guy is in it and he's being scary" kind of vibe. It wasn't like 'Insomnia' where you were pleasantly surprised that Williams was playing an anti version of himself. The previews for 'One Hour Photo' slapped you in the face with the fact that Robin Williams was in this movie and he wasn't ever going to crack a joke. To my surprise 'One Hour Photo', a chilling story about a lonely film developer who ends up stalking a woman that frequents his establishment, turned out to be a taut thriller with a stellar performance from Williams. I thought putting him in this was nothing more than a plot to pique our curiosity, but he came through with a horrifying and memorable performance. The Worst 'Flubber' There was absolutely no reason that the 'Absent Minded Professor' should have been remade, but when has that ever stopped the Hollywood remake factory from churning out dreadful tripe we've already had to endure the first time? This time they said, "Hey, we have this thing called CG now. Wouldn't it be a perfect time to redo that movie about flubber, but this time we can animate the flubber to actually act like tiny gelatinous goo people?" Right then another unfunny kids movie was made where kids could mindlessly laugh at the stuff that looked like "shiny boogers" (their words, not mine). 'Jack' No I'm not kidding you. Seriously, I'm not. Why won't you believe me when I say that 'Jack' was directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Stop laughing at me! I'm telling the truth. I can't believe it either, but it happened and we have to move past it. Who better to play a gigantic kid than Robin Williams, right? Maybe in a better movie it would have worked. This is just a bizarre movie all around. An awful movie full of flat jokes, and cloying emotional scenes. How could the teaming of Coppola and Williams turn out so terribly? This is something that I'll never understand. 'Old Dogs' I don't get movies like 'Old Dogs'. Who are these movies for? They aren't for kids. They just can't be. You can't stick in two over-the-hill actors – Travolta and Williams – and expect kids to swoon. On the flip side 'Old Dogs' most certainly isn't for adults. Well, it's not for adults who want to keep their brain cells intact. It's just so asinine, so lowest-common-denominator stupid that I have a hard time figuring out who its audience really is. In one of the most cringe-worthy "comedic" scenes I've ever had to sit through, John Travolta is struck with partial facial paralysis, while Williams pretends to have lost all depth perception. Hardy, har, har. 'Old Dogs' is awful. 'Patch Adams' 'Patch Adams' wouldn't be so bad if it didn't want you to cry so much. It's sole purpose is to tug at your heartstrings with carefully placed, melodramatic music as we realize that laughter really can cure all. It's all just so obvious. A melodramatic sledgehammer repeatedly bashing you over the head with its phony feeling emotion. 'Patch Adams' could've done with a lesson in less is more. As it stands it's a movie that had potential, but it was squandered by over-sweet performances from everyone involved. Upon meeting him, the first thing the real Patch Adams told Roger Ebert was "I hate that movie." What more do you need to know? 'R.V.' Like 'Old Dogs', 'R.V.' is another one of those ambiguous movies that I have no idea who its target audience is. Do kids really want to watch a wacky father drive his poor family around in an R.V.? Do parents really want to subject themselves to this frontal lobe lobotomy of a movie? The only thing remotely clever about this movie is that R.V. not only refers to the vehicle they use to travel cross country, but also to the movie's subtitle 'Runaway Vacation'. As a matter of fact, it's a runaway movie, script, and just about everything else. 'R.V.' is painful at just about every turn. I like Williams, usually. He's had quite a few misses in his career, but he's shown that he can reinvent himself if necessary. He plays a great creep. His dramatic roles are by far his best parts. Williams has had a widely varied career. It was hard for me to pick a top five just because Williams has had so many great movies. Honorable mentions that I'd feel amiss if I didn't mention include 'Good Morning, Vietnam.' 'Awakenings,' 'The Fisher King,' and 'FernGully.' He's also had a whole slew of crapfests that I don't even want to take the time to list, although 'House of D' could have easily made the worst of list. How would you rank Williams' movie career? Do you have a top five or bottom five that you'd like to share? Head on over to the forums and let us know.Posted Tue Aug 9, 2011 at 02:25 PM PDT by:
