We've already announced our individual picks for the Best
Blu-rays of 2011 So Far. [teaser]Now, we take a look at the releases
that had us stumped, befuddled, and down right perturbed.
It's a look at the worst the format had to offer.[/teaser]
These are the releases
that didn't live up to expectations, movies which are so bad
we wonder how they even got released, and films that look
like no one took the time to care for them like they should
have.
With the good come the bad. We all expect the world of
Blu-ray to put out its fair share of ugly, unattractive
discs. You've been warned. Picking up these releases could be
hazardous to your health and your movie collection.
The worst Blu-rays of 2011 is meant to be a warning for
people looking to buy any of these titles. Think twice before
you plunk down your hard-earned cash for these stinkers.
Aaron Peck
'Secret
of NIMH' and
'All Dogs Go to Heaven'
My dreams had been answered when we found out that a few
Don Bluth animated films would be headed to Blu-ray. My hopes
were raised when I saw how good 'Anastasia' turned out and
hoped that 'Secret of NIMH' and 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' would
be just as good. I was wrong. Really wrong. Those two classic
Bluth films, especially 'NIMH' deserved a proper remastering,
but all they got was a dirty, grimy transfer that looked as
if it had just been ported over from the DVD. Yes, Bluth's
animation isn't as crisp or colorful as the Disney animated
films we're used to, but these films deserved so much more.
This got me to thinking, at least for 'NIMH,' how much we
need Criterion to pick up that title and give it a complete
overhaul. I'd be behind that all the way. As for now though,
we're stuck with two Bluth Blu-rays that failed to live up to
expectations.
'Passion Play'
Meghan Fox has wings, Mickey Rourke has sex with her, and
Bill Murray slums it as an idiot gangster. The audio and
video presentations are average, but this movie is so bad
that it drags itself into the gutter without hardly trying.
It's painful to watch actors like Murray take on a role like
this. You have to wonder what they're thinking and why he
wouldn't want to spend time making something better, like, say
'Ghostbusters 3'.
'Birdemic: Shock and Terror'
This is one of those movies that you just have to wonder
why money was spent bringing it to Blu-ray. People fend off
attacks from killer birds. It's as crap-tastic as they come.
B-movie schlock all the way. When it comes to the audio and
video, well there's just no comparison. It's probably the
worst you've ever heard and seen on the format. The ultra-low
budget makes it look like the birds were cut and pasted on
the screen. It's a dismal presentation and a terrible movie.
Although it may be fun to watch with the RiffTrax that was
made for it.
'Fire on the Amazon'
Yuck. Sandra Bullock makes steamy, sweaty, and apparently
sticky love to some dude who looks like he stepped right out
of a David Bowie music video. I'm sure that Bullock would
love if this movie never again saw the light of day, but
unfortunately someone had the bright idea to bring it to
Blu-ray. Which means I had to watch it. Which in turn means
that it made this list.
'Blood Out'
Some people complained about my review of 'Blood Out,'
saying that it wasn't really a review. Well, that's true.
It's because a movie as bad and stupid as 'Blood Out' defies
the reviewing process. Instead I wrote a live-blog about the
idiotic things happening on screen. A movie that features 50
Cent telling a story that ends with "…and she swallowed the
evidence," is a movie that doesn't deserve a thought-out
review. It deserves to be pummeled into the earth so no one
will ever, ever see it.
Luke Hickman
'Bad Boys' (1983)
Never being much of a fan of both the gritty '80s street
gang and prison genres, I was surprised when a co-worker
forced me to watch this movie and I actually enjoyed it. We watched
an old DVD copy that he found in a local Walmart's five-buck
movie bin. Let's just say that the Blu-ray release doesn't
look all that different from the DVD. The only
consistency in the 'Bad Boys' Blu-ray is how bad it looks. It
is foggy, unfocused and pretty much unwatchable.
'Teen Wolf'
Before Jason Bateman donned the furry suit, and much
earlier than MTV's tragically awful re-imagining of the
teenage werewolf, Michael J. Fox was the original teen wolf.
Although shot prior to 'Back to the Future,' 'Teen Wolf' was
released just months after Fox's time-traveling adventure
flick. People who loved him 'Back to the Future' went to
'Teen Wolf' expecting more of the same – my family was one of
them. Boy, were we wrong. But we all forced ourselves to like
it anyway. Marty McFly could do no wrong. And 'Teen Wolf'
became a guilty pleasure in our household – but the Blu-ray
transfer is of lower quality that the movie itself. For the
first time, I actually believe the DVD is better than the
Blu-ray – it lacks sharpness, depth and clarity.
'Billy Madison'
After his first few comedies, Adam Sandler's movies sure
started to tank. His latest ones are basically unbearable.
But his first pair – 'Billy Madison' and 'Happy Gilmore' –
are still pretty funny to date. While 'Happy Gilmore'
received a decent Blu-ray transfer, 'Billy Madison' didn't.
Nate Boss's Blu-ray review sums up my feelings exactly:
“'Billy Madison' is a constant reminder of what a bad catalog
title looks like...”
'Skyline'
How fitting - one of the worst movies of last year
received one of the worst Blu-ray transfers of the year.
Considering 'Skyline' is a major science-fiction alien
invasion action epic that was made for only $10 million,
could you really expect anything better? I'm not certain
whether the terrible picture quality is fault of a crappy
Blu-ray transfer or if it just looked that bad to begin with.
Not screened for the press, I didn't see it in theaters – but I
believe it was the latter. While some low-budget flicks like
this have the potential to earn cult status for being so bad,
'Skyline' is just too bad to be the slightest bit enjoyable.
Better picture quality, sharper images and more realistic
special effects have been seen in video games and SyFy
original movies.
'Harry Potter Years 1-7 Part 1 Giftset'
If this isn't the most ridiculous and worthless Blu-ray
set any studio has ever put out, I don't know what is. Who in
their right mind would buy an expensive seven-movie set of an
eight-movie series? Don't get me wrong, I'm a lover of the
'Harry Potter' film franchise (with the exception of the
trainwreck known as 'The Goblet of Fire') – but this is simply absurd. This gift set sounds like the perfect gag
gift to give to somebody. “Here you go – you get the majority
of the 'Harry Potter' series, except for the epic conclusion.
It's got the first half of the finale – the slow half where
they camp a lot – but not the action-packed superbly-crafted
climax. You have to buy that for yourself – and, no, it will
not fit inside this sweet collectors case. Enjoy!”
Nate Boss
'From Dusk Till Dawn' (and Echo Bridge in General)
I could fill this entire list with the Miramax dumps from
Echo Bridge, but one slot should be enough. Yes, we can
blame whoever gave the lame duck company such crappy material
to work with, yes, they're more than certainly implicit in
all this. However, entire waves of pure garbage? That takes
talent. Double features on a single layer? Those are
instant suckfests. Wrong aspect ratios, wrong technical info
on packages, random ass stereo mixes on films that had 5.1
tracks on DVDs from ten years ago? Sorry, but they have
earned every single gripe that I've published about them, and
then some.
'RED'
Now, I know what you're thinking, the review here wasn't
all that negative towards the technical aspects of 'Retired,
Extremely Dangerous,' so what gives?!? Well, there were two
releases of this snoozefest of a "film," the one that got
reviewed, and then, the less expensive version, a movie only
edition that Summit Entertainment decided to deliver with a skimped
out audio track. Lossless apparently costs more to author on
a disc. Who knew?! This release earns a spot solely on
principle. Movie only edition does not mean rip us off edition.
'The Life and Times of Harvey Milk'
Wait, wha?!?!?! You read that right, a Criterion
Collection release earns a slot on the worst releases of the
year list. Why? Well, that review I've been trying to
complete for a month (or two...) will spell that out more
clearly, but never has a release from this studio looked or
sounded this awful. The film is quite good, really, that has
nothing to do with it being on this list. The price tag
versus quality sure does, though.
'The Venture Brothers: Season 4'
This last slot was a tough one to fill, as I really wanted
to smack the 'A Clockwork Orange' double dip,
the dreadful 'Fire on the Amazon,' or the 'Galaxina/The
Crater Lake Monster' double feature. Instead, I'll go for
the release that most represents the polar opposite of the
'30 for 30' release I praised in the first list. One disc
for an entire season of a show. That's kinda pushing it, and
the video qualities on here show. This earns a spot on the
worst of the worst solely because it didn't have to be like
this. It's not that hard to put content across two discs.
This is just cheap and lazy.
'Dead Space: Aftermath'
I think my review sums up my feelings on this pile
just fine. I don't want to talk about it anymore, and bring
back those painful memories. A pure garbage release if
ever there were one.
Steven Cohen
'The Hit List'
This is essentially a poor man's 'Collateral.' A
very, very poor man's 'Collateral', that unfortunately joins
Cuba Gooding Jr.'s ever expanding library of DTV misfires.
The video and audio are average, and there are no supplements,
though in this case that's actually a blessing. Trust me. A
lackluster disc for a terrible movie.
'Sons of the City: New York'
An incredibly dull, brief, and totally
uninteresting look at some of basketball's greats. Filled
with meaningless commentary and low quality archive footage,
even the music is painfully annoying. The only saving grace
here is some decent supplements, though they definitely don't
make up for the rest of this subpar package.
'The Terminator' (Digibook)
The movie is great but this release is just plain
offensive. It's simply a repackaging of the same old
disc from 2006 that we've seen time and time and time and time again. The video
transfer is painfully outdated and supplements don't even
match up to the DVD. The digibook case might be kind of cool,
but it certainly can't save this lazy, money grabbing effort.
'Chawz' (2010)
While not a terrible film, this horror/comedy flick about
a giant killer boar is still a pretty bad one. Video is ugly,
lacking any kind of depth and audio is mostly front loaded.
While there are some supplements, they don't really offer
much in the way of substance.
'Muay Thai Giant'
A truly bizarre attempt at action/comedy, 'Muay Thai
Giant' isn't quite horrible but it is quite incompetent.
Video is a bit smeary looking and audio is pretty basic. On
the plus side though, there are few unintentionally funny
moments -- and then there's that whole drinking soda out of a
plastic bag thing... on second thought, that alone might save
this disc from making the list...
Tom Landy
'From Dusk Till Dawn' (Echo Bridge)
Canadians actually have had access to this early Robert
Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino vampfest on Blu-ray since October
of 2008, and while that barebones release isn't spectacular
by any means, the Alliance disc still delivers a fairly
decent hi-def presentation. Now 'From Dusk Till Dawn' has
finally made its long-awaited U.S. debut courtesy of Echo
Bridge, but sadly it's not much more than a malformed clone
of the canuck edition. There's still no features, it has the
same MSRP, and remember all those stars for video and audio it
had? Well, this mutie's audio/video DNA is only about half
complete. I hate having to trash this fan favorite of mine,
I really do, but the truth is one of the most anticipated
titles from the Miramax catalog deserved so much better.
From Dusk Till Dawn / From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (Echo Bridge)
Okay, so how do you make an order of Echo Bridge's 'From
Dusk Till Dawn' leave an even fouler taste in your mouth?
Simple: add a side of 'From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood
Money.' To be fair, the technical differences between the
standalone 'From Dusk Till Dawn' and the one found on this
double feature are negligible, despite two films cohabiting
on a single-layered BD-25 disc. But with that said, answer
me this... Is the addition of a crappy
sequel/prequel/whatever-the-hell-it's-supposed-to-be that
looks and sounds as if VHS is desperately trying to make a
comeback really something you'd say is worth the extra
$5 price tag? Yep, I didn't think so. Blood money, indeed.
'Equilibrium' (Echo Bridge)
Can you imagine a dystopian future where showing any
emotion is punishable by death? A society where
police-clerics patrol the streets and arrest anyone who
laughs, cries, or throws a
manic temper tantrum on the set of one of their movies?
That world exists in 'Equilibrium' -- an often
underappreciated cult classic starring pre-anger management
Christian Bale and a lean mean Sean Bean that only seems to
get better with each viewing. Well, unless of course said
viewing happens to be on of the butchered North American
Blu-rays. For no good reason, both the U.S. and Canadian
editions have cropped the film's original 2.35:1 aspect
ratio, but Echo Bridge sinks even lower with their phoned-in
video and lazy two-channel audio. Not that I have anything
against 2.0 tracks, but when the first DVD release of
'Equilibrium' has a more engaging 5.1 mix and the newer
technology doesn't, something is seriously wrong.
The Crow: City of Angels (Echo Bridge)
Truth be told, I can't help feeling a little sorry for
poor 'The Crow: City of Angels.' I mean, it had it bad
enough just being 'The Crow: City of Angels.' But then after
getting drunk on its sorrows, it awakens the next morning
only to find a shiny new tattoo on its ass that says "Echo
Bridge." Talk about getting kicked square in the nads while
you're already down. The sludgy video easily ranks among the
fugliest of the year (it's also in 1080i and not
1080p as the packaging falsely indicates), and to top
it off we have another case of a lowly lossless stereo
soundtrack that is bested by a decade old DVD. Seriously, it
couldn't get much more embarrassing than this.
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 at 01:45 PM PDT by:
Aaron Peck