by Dick Ward
2012 is just flying by, isn't it? We're into the fourth month already, and all the holidays that come with it. If you're reading this, that means we all survived another April Fool's Day – the day when everyone tries to be funny and fails miserably instead of just leaving it to the professionals who can come up with things like "April Blools Day." The first of the month may not be a holiday worth celebrating, but there are plenty of others that give you a good enough reason to pick up and watch a new Blu-ray or two.
It's a scientific fact – any male holding a guitar gets instantly more attractive to women. Any male holding a gun gets instantly cooler to men. Now take Antonio Banderas and give him a guitar case full of guns. 'Desperado' pushes the amount of awesome that can be put on one screen to dangerous levels.
You know how it is. It's been a long day at work so you stop off for a Coke and the price is weird so you take out a bazooka and blow up a construction site. 'Falling Down' is the ultimate in vicarious stress relief.
Finding a rainbow is one thing, but it's what you do with it that's important. If you need, I've got a guy – yeah, you probably saw him in 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory' – who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh, soak it in the sun and make a strawberry lemon pie. If you ask for it "Sammy style" you can get a groovy lemon pie instead.
It's confusing being a kid. When I learned – spoiler alert – the truth about Santa Claus, I just assumed the North Pole wasn't real either. Celebrate all the confusion that comes with the whole Santa Claus thing with the ' Rifftrax: Live! Christmas Short-Stravaganza!' Mike, Kevin and Bill help ease the pain.
Sure, there are submarine movies that you could watch to celebrate the US's first acquisition of the vessels, but I prefer to go with 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan,' which is still one of the finest submarine combat films ever made, even if it did take place in space.
You may know Leonardo Da Vinci from his works like The Mona Lisa, his study of human anatomy which includes the Vitruvian Man, or his various inventions. He's also famous for 'The Da Vinci Code,' if you don't choose to delve so deep. Not the best tribute to a great man, but you could do worse.
Will Smith seems like he might be a good ambassador to our alien brothers and sisters – if they have traditional genders – but he's a man of mixed messages. Take a look at 'Independence Day.' After knocking out an alien with his fist, he shouts out "Welcome to Earth!" Now Mr. Smith, that doesn't seem as welcoming as I think you might intend.
This lined up so perfectly. 'Harold and Maude,' with its Cat Stevens soundtrack, was supposed to hit shelves on April 17th so you could watch the movie in time to join the chorus of "If You Want to Sing Out" for International Sing Out Day. The movie was pushed back to June, sadly, but that doesn't have to stop you from singing!
I watch a lot of movies, and I find myself focusing on weird things. For example, I've found that the greatest telephone conversation ever on film is in 'Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.' Surprise: Peter Sellers is brilliant.