by Dick Ward
It's finally here - the month you've been waiting for. The month that culminates in one wonderful day of candy, cider, and costumes and ends with you waking up tied to your bed by a Wonder Woman that looked so much better the night before. At least that's how mine usually go.
There's much more to October than one day at the end to the month where all the goth kids feel out of place because they look like everyone else. And that's what High-Def Holidays is all about - finding some quality Blu-rays to celebrate some less quality holidays.
Granted, National Apple Month is almost certainly taking a pro-apple stance. I do too, especially if they're covered in caramel. But still, my mind wanders to the most anti-apple story since the book of Genesis. That, of course, is the Disney classic ' Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.' Watch it and balk at the propaganda against one of the doctor-away-keepinest fruits there is!
We're going back to Disney to talk about a movie that's ripe with clocks, and of course the desire to not be late. Specifically, the desire not to be late for a very important date. Consider 'Alice in Wonderland' to keep your clocks wound and properly calibrated so you don't have to go running around with your pocket watch out.
Fires can start in a lot of ways. You could leave the gas on or drop a lit cigarette in the woods. Sometimes they happen due to faulty wiring or just because everything's too darn dry. And sometimes they happen because you made fun of the weird girl in school and dumped pigs blood on her head. ' Carrie' is the Smoky the Bear of Bullying. "Only you can prevent pyrokinetic fires."
I've probably pimped 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' before. Maybe a few times. Well it's that damn good. And of course, it ties in to World Vegetarian day because of the vegan evil ex boyfriend. If he wasn't kind of a dick about it, his vegan superpowers could really have been cool.
Some people name their cars. Those people are weird. To be fair though, I've always wanted to name my car Desire just to see if anyone gets the joke. If you can't think of any good title to attribute to your beater, you can always crib something from ' Cars,' a movie so good that it made Larry the Cable Guy tolerable. Barely.
Unlike a lot of holidays that I feature here, Indigenous People's Day is actually serious. It's all about celebrating Native American culture and I think 'Dances With Wolves' is a good way to do that. And if the 1990 classic isn't your style, you can always check out the more modern remake 'Avatar.' Zing!
I drive by a lot of farms on my way up to my grandmother's place, and while they're pretty cool and quaint in the daytime, they're creepy at night. Giant areas of land with nothing in them, and of course plenty of potential for some creepy kids to go all ' Children of the Corn' on you.
Ah bosses. They're the people that make sure things are going right at work, keep people on task and encourage them to do their best. Or you've got a real boss and they're more like the folks in 'Office Space.' Celebrate Boss's Day by kicking back and living vicariously through a man who doesn't mind shirking authority.
I can't think about the great song 'Monster Mash,' - if you were wondering, is indeed a graveyard smash - without thinking about ' Monster Squad,' which in my youth I remembered as a fairly edgy Halloween comedy. It's less edgy now, but it features the creepy German guy, some really out-of-place serious moments, cuss words that kids don't get to say anymore and of course, the answer to life's ultimate question. "Does Wolfman have nards?"
Sure, yeah, 'The King's Speech' earned critical acclaim. Whatever, no one died watching it. But according to a Wikipedia "fact" that I may of may not have inserted for the sole purpose of writing this article, the John Cleese starring 'A Fish Called Wanda' did kill a man with humor. Interesting that it's something Monty Python joked about so many years ago.