Not every animated movie is destined to go down as a children’s classic. Perhaps this is just me being overly judgmental again, but this week’s theatrical release of ‘The Emoji Movie’ doesn’t look like it will stand the test of time. With that in mind, let’s look at some of our other least favorite animated movies.
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Disney made a downright awful Shakespeare adaptation that was so bad the studio wouldn’t even put its name on it. Instead, Disney released it under the rarely-used Touchstone Pictures banner. For me ‘Gnomeo & Juliet<\/a>‘ is the absolute worst. The miserable movie is the type that leaves you groaning in disbelief at the stupidity unraveling before your eyes. I recall screening the movie and spending equal time picturing an animation team making fun of the stoopid movie as they worked on it, and watching the second hand of my watch tick the time away. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this Travelosity nightmare was deemed too cruel and unusual to be used as a method of torture. I’d rather by impaled by a garden gnome’s pointy cap than ever have to trudge through this maddening mess again. <\/p>\n I’m a major proponent for indulging in nostalgia, but when the nostalgia is not mine, it can be hard to sit through. Such was the case when I watched ‘The Last Unicorn<\/a>‘. I don’t want to completely trash the movie, but thinking of it, or even watching ten seconds of it (or worse, hearing the theme song), triggers an almost allergic reaction in mine. That 92-minute film sort of never gets started, and then never ever ends.<\/p>\n It seems like common practice for smaller, independent studios to capitalize on the success of popular box-office hits from the major studios. For those who conveniently forgot and those who didn’t even know, such was the case for James Cameron’s ‘Titanic’. Not one, but two direct-to-video animated features were produced in Italy immediately following the success of that production: ‘Titanic: The Legend Goes On’ and ‘Legend of the Titanic’. In both cases, the plot revolves around a pair of star-crossed lovers fighting for love against a social system that wants to tear them apart. They’re each aided in this fantasy quest by talking animals. In addition to the shoddy animation style, the blatant ripoff of famous fairy tale stories is practically laughable and enough to regret even knowing these animated films exist. They both feature a young woman and a cruel stepmother. Of course, imagine the young couple surviving the infamous sinking of the ship so that everyone lives happily ever after.<\/p>\n If I were to make an offhand reference to ‘Cinderella III: A Twist in Time’, chances are that many of those reading this would assume it’s some no-budget knockoff from the other end of the world or that I’m making that sequel up altogether. Nope! With the success of earlier direct-to-video experiments like ‘The Return of Jafar’, Disney eagerly set out to strip-mine every last ounce of good will to be found in its library of animated classics. These instantly forgettable “cheapquels” were churned out at a steady clip for a full decade, with not a single one managing to enter the public consciousness as their (mostly) legendary predecessors had. For instance, ‘The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea’ introduces us to Ariel’s daughter, only this time, she’s a human who’s hoodwinked by a waterlogged witch into becoming a mermaid. ‘Mulan II’ ravages everyone and everything worthwhile in the original film to make way for yet another quest for romance. ‘Bambi II’ isn’t a sequel so much as a midquel, exploring the relationship between the Great Prince of the Forest and a still-young Bambi in the wake of his mother’s untimely death. (Okay, I genuinely do enjoy that one.) For whatever reason, there are even sequels to ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’, ‘Brother Bear’ and ‘Atlantis’.<\/p>\nBrian Hoss<\/span><\/h3>\n
M. Enois Duarte<\/span><\/h3>\n
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk<\/a>)<\/span><\/h3>\n